


the most fragile star in the universe.

by icursedthisworld



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: 'it's complicated' to lovers, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Step sisters AU, casual chaennie, i guess, i'm sorry but how is kuma in the character tags and not leo, there is now sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:14:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 63,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25245220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icursedthisworld/pseuds/icursedthisworld
Summary: Being attracted to your step-sister is definitely a bad idea. Falling in love with her is far worse.orthe one where jennie moves in and lisa doesn't think she can survive living with her
Relationships: Jennie Kim/Lalisa Manoban | Lisa, Jennie Kim/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé, Kim Jisoo/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé
Comments: 307
Kudos: 654





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> i pretty much have the outline for the entire story, so updates should be frequent enough.  
> i'm sorry if the parents bit feels rushed, they just had to get out of the way if i'm being honest.
> 
> UPDATED NOTE: hello, just thought i should add that if the whole step sisters thing makes you uncomfortable in any way, you probably don't want to read this - and that's absolutely fine!

Lisa was, to say the least, a bit of an introvert. She was your usual invisible school girl that never bothered to make too much of an effort to get to know strangers. She had a few close friends, and she was content with that. It didn’t mean she was shy, she just wanted peace and comfort out of her very mundane life. Her home was also a very quiet place. She lived alone in a fairly big house with her dad, who was more often at work than at home with his daughter - which was exactly why she found it very weird to be sitting with him at dinner one night. The atmosphere was so tense that Lisa had preferred to stare down at her plate to avoid pointless small talk. Her father clearly had other intentions, though.

“Lisa, I need to tell you something.”

Lisa looked up, still chewing her food silently.

When he started speaking, Lisa felt a bit nauseous. Out of everything he could have possibly said, Lisa didn’t expect something so life-changing.

Her father went on to tell her about his secret girlfriend or whatever she was, and how he had been lonely and needed someone by his side. And honestly speaking, Lisa wouldn’t even have been mad if it wasn’t for the fact that her father had just given her a one-week notice on a random woman invading her home. Maybe not quite so random given that she was apparently her dad’s colleague, but still a stranger. A woman he deemed worthy of marrying out of the blue. Lisa found it all absurd.

“Is this a joke?”

“Of course not! I didn’t mean for it to be so sudden, I just didn’t know how you would have reacted. I promise it will be a benefit to all of us.”

Lisa scoffed.

“Frankly speaking, this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard from you. But yeah, sure. Whatever. It’s your damn house anyways.”

With that said, Lisa pushed her chair back and stood up abruptly. She left her dad with a glare and headed upstairs, ignoring the calls of her father behind her. The silence of her bedroom suddenly didn’t feel as comforting as it used to.

\---

The day their new ‘family’ was to move in was such a joyful one, according to Lisa’s father. He got the whole place cleaned up nicely, and made sure to prepare the fanciest lunch Lisa had ever seen. Lisa was still not too happy with the sudden change, but had the decency to put on a clean white long-sleeved shirt and pale grey jeans with white trainers. She wanted to at least look presentable to the woman she was going to live with for who knew how many years.

Except there wasn’t just a woman at the door.

A younger, shorter and definitely more annoyed girl came right behind her dad’s new wife. She was glancing around the place, cautiously inspecting her surroundings as if she had just walked into the depths of hell. It seemed like Lisa was not the only victim of this, and the unexpected arrival suddenly made things much more interesting.

At first, Lisa couldn’t move. She hadn’t considered the possibility of having a new sister and, given the ball of brown fur the girl was holding, a new dog. Which wasn’t exactly ideal since Lisa’s cat wasn’t fond of having intruders.

As her two new family members approached, Lisa cleared her throat and stood stiffly next to her dad. She wasn’t used to meeting people this formally, and although she wasn’t exactly sure about how much time she’d have to spend with them, she wanted to give a decent first impression and make an effort to get to know their names at least.

The older woman introduced herself as Kaeun. She was the definition of Korean beauty, who managed to look elegant and mature regardless of age. Lisa thought that the genes ran in the family given Jennie’s sharp features and well-proportioned body. Her dark brown hair was naturally down, and her outfit looked simple yet classy. She was a few inches shorter than Lisa, but her whole expensive-like appearance was enough to make the blonde feel very small.

“Lisa, this is Jennie.”

_Jennie._

Her name was just as beautiful as her. And when Lisa met her cat-like eyes, she could swear she was looking right through her soul.

Jennie was not as happy to be there like as mother. Her lips never turned upwards into a smile, and her gaze was rather harsh. Lisa didn’t know if the discomfort was caused by the new home, the new family, or maybe, just her. Jennie’s intimidating aura was enough to make Lisa hesitate in offering her hand, but in the end it was Jennie that stretched her arm out in front of her.

“Jennie Kim.”

Lisa was not shocked enough to the point of forgetting her manners, so she gently shook Jennie’s small yet surprisingly cold hand.

“Lisa. Nice to meet you, Jennie.”

The shorter girl only nodded, not even bothering to give a smile or any warm gesture. Lisa was not surprised at that point.

The rest of the day spent getting to know the new half of the Manoban family did not go as smoothly as Lisa had hoped. Jennie was ignoring anyone and anything that wasn’t her phone or her dog (which Lisa got to know was named Kuma), and honestly speaking Lisa was just about doing the same. Her dad was really happy to have his new wife with him, and Lisa didn’t want to interrupt their time together. The two adults sat close to each other on the couch, while Jennie and Lisa sat at either end of the second couch in the living room. Lisa would steal glances from time to time to see what Jennie was up to, but each time she was greeted by the brunette typing and smiling down at her phone. Probably texting a friend or a boyfriend, Lisa thought. It didn’t take a genius to guess that Jennie had much more of a social life than Lisa. It wasn’t a better nor worse lifestyle, it was just—different.

When the sky turned dark, Lisa’s father glanced at the two clearly bored girls. He sighed, not really happy with the younger girls not interacting like he wished they would. He could only hope that they’d start to get along in the days to come.

“Lisa, why don’t you show Jennie her room? It’s getting late, take some rest.”

Lisa looked up and gave her father a look of panic. He ignored her unspoken complaint.

Subtly, the blonde rolled her eyes and shoved her phone back in her jeans pocket before standing up and looking down at Jennie. She was still sitting down and typing. Lisa stood in front of her awkwardly, waiting for the other girl to finish her text conversation. She didn’t.

“Ehm, Jennie?”

That seemed to get her attention, as she glanced up and met the blonde’s waiting figure.

“Do you want to… see your room?” Lisa asked innocently.

Jennie looked disinterested, simply shrugging and uttering a little “Sure”. But for some reason, Lisa noticed a slight glint of interest in her eyes that wasn’t there before. Maybe she was just excited to get a room to herself after being stuck with her family the whole day, she thought. The possibility of herself being the cause of such interest did not even cross Lisa’s mind.

While walking up the stairs, Lisa heard Jennie’s footsteps right behind her. She was glad she didn’t have to walk side by side and make some other uncomfortable conversation. She just knew her and Jennie were not compatible. Her new step-sister was not very open to getting to know her either it seemed, and Lisa didn’t really mind if she was being honest. Less talk, less drama.

Lisa’s room was, ironically, right next to Jennie’s. And knowing that the walls were not that thick, Lisa could only hope that the brunette was not a fan of late night loud music or any other form of interrupting her peaceful sleep.

Clearing her throat, Lisa gestured to the white door next to her own one, standing straight and tall in hopes of covering an old childish “Lisa’s Room” sign that she never thought she’d have to take down. Now that there were other people to witness the embarrassing existence of it, Lisa made a mental note of removing it as soon as possible.

“This is your bedroom.”

She then turned around and pointed at another door a bit further ahead down the corridor. “That’s the bathroom, for when you need it.”

Once again, Jennie only nodded. Lisa saw her glance at the sign on her door and prayed that she wouldn’t comment on it. Luckily, she didn’t.

“Do you need anything else?”

Jennie shook her head and looked around the narrow corridor for a few more seconds, before getting her attention back to Lisa.

Just as the blonde was about to enter her own room, she was suddenly stopped by Jennie’s voice.

“Actually,” she started, “there is something I wanted to ask.”

Lisa waited for her to continue.

“Your dad… is he home often?”

Lisa gave her a confused look, finding the question quite unusual. “Ehm, not really. He spends a lot of time at work. He stays at an apartment very close to his office building most nights. Why do you ask?”

For a second, Jennie let a mischievous grin take over. “Just wondering. Goodnight, Lisa.”

Lisa was still very lost at her words as she watched Jennie lock herself in her bedroom. _Weird_ , she thought.

\----

Needless to say, it soon became very clear to Lisa the true reasoning behind Jennie’s question that first night.

And it was not a very pleasant way to find out either.

A few nights after Jennie’s arrival, Lisa was lying in bed looking at pictures of her cat, Leo, as a quick way of relaxing before going to sleep. Considering how the first few days went, Lisa thought that living with Jennie was not going to be too bad as the older girl spent a lot of her time outside. She was a second-year university student, while Lisa was on her last year of high school. So in theory, their lives were not supposed to clash too much.

Except Lisa was very wrong.

One particular night, Jennie did not come home alone, and the cat pictures did nothing to distract Lisa from the inappropriate noises filling her room from the other side of the paper-thin wall separating her from Jennie.

Yes, Jennie was a big girl and she had every right to satisfy her sexual needs, but Lisa would have much preferred if she did that outside of her earshot. She kept tossing and turning in bed, burying her head under her pillow to stop the sound of Jennie’s moans getting to her. Her screams of “harder” and “faster” and all those filthy requests made Lisa feel deeply uncomfortable. Not only because her step-sister was having loud sex just a few metres from her, but because she started to feel hot and bothered at every sound that came out of Jennie’s mouth. And that was not a good sign. She barely exchanged a few words with the girl, simple “good morning” and “goodnight” greetings, and sometimes she’d also ask which nights she shouldn’t be expecting her home, just for safety. But other than that, she wasn’t close to Jennie at all. She didn’t know where the arousal came from. Yes, Jennie was absolutely gorgeous, Lisa wasn’t blind. But she was also very popular and outgoing, a party animal. Lisa didn’t get involved with that type of person. Jennie and Lisa were polar opposites, not to mention that they were step-sisters. Lisa should not be feeling that kind of attraction in any way.

With that last thought in mind, Lisa got up from bed and grabbed her pillows and blanket in a hurry. She had to leave before the sexual sounds drove her completely insane. She momentarily stopped in front of her door, questioning whether she should avoid being heard. That’s when Jennie’s moans and whimpers started becoming more frequent, and Lisa could not afford to wait any second longer. She opened the door with her free hand and made sure to slam it right behind her, essentially sending her message loud and clear to the couple next door. Before she could hear any complaint in return, she dashed down the stairs and reached the living room. Her dad and Kaeun were at their second apartment, but Lisa did not really feel like invading their empty bedroom. She opted for the couch instead. She dropped the pillows on one end, and she was quick to lie down and drape the blanket on top of herself.

Peace, at last.

But if Lisa was being honest, her dreams were not just as peaceful. No matter how far Jennie was, Lisa could not erase the thought of her in bed, underneath her. So that night, Lisa let her imagination go wild, which only resulted in her waking up the morning after with uneven breathing and sweat running down her spine.

And of course, Jennie just had to be there to witness it all.

Her hair was still messy, and she had not changed out of the white shirt and grey cotton shorts she used as a pyjamas. But for some reason, she was looking down at the agitated blonde with a smirk. She was leaning with her shoulder resting on the kitchen doorframe, her arms crossed. Lisa felt weirdly exposed under her firm gaze.

“Slept well?” Jennie asked, her voice still somewhat raspy. At least one of the two seemed to have had a nice sleep, Lisa thought.

The blonde did not trust herself to speak just yet, having just woken up. So she just shyly nodded.

“Good to know,” the older girl continued, “you didn’t sound very happy when you stormed out of your room last night.”

And so she knew. Some part of Lisa was glad that she didn’t have to be the one to start the talk, but for some reason Jennie did not sound even close to guilty, and that only managed to make Lisa feel irritated by the lack of consideration.

“Yeah, _someone_ was being a bit too loud, making it very hard to fall asleep.”

Jennie shrugged. That seemed to be her answer to everything.

“A girl has needs.”

Lisa just laughed in disbelief and started to collect her stuff from the couch.

“Yeah, right. Maybe next time take care of your _needs_ outside my fucking house.”

She didn’t stay long enough to hear Jennie’s reply, preferring to go back to her room and avoid some kind of argument. How foolish of her to think for even a moment that her and Jennie could get along. Lisa had other priorities in life from the ones Jennie seemed to have. The older girl was more into pointless flings and loud parties, while Lisa was the type to stay at home and stick to her close friends. Jennie relieved stress through sex, Lisa danced. Jennie drove around the city with her red Porsche, Lisa rode a bike. There was no common ground between them.

However, what Lisa didn’t notice when she left was Jennie’s playful look as she watched the blonde go up the stairs.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasn't fully satisfied with this start but it should get a little smoother in the next chapters.
> 
> comments are always appreciated


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't think proofreading at 1am was a good idea, but i tried.

If Lisa thought that the person from Jennie’s first night was her boyfriend, she was soon proven wrong.

The number of sexual partners Jennie brought home were always different, or that was what Lisa had gathered from Jennie calling out different names in bed. Lisa had also noticed that Jennie went for both boys and girls, but she had to admit that the ladies were much more quiet and respectful when they were around. Her favourite had been Irene, she had only come by once (like every person Jennie slept with), but when she noticed that Lisa was also present under the same roof she had the decency to bow politely and apologise for the intrusion. The others came and went, never acknowledging Lisa’s existence. It’s not like she minded too much, she knew that they were all smitten by Jennie’s charms but could only enjoy having her for one night. But that also didn’t mean that Lisa wasn’t pissed off by the constant loud noises at night. Lisa was smart enough to understand that Jennie was rather enjoying making her life difficult. She was definitely doing it intentionally, but Lisa had to yet to figure out what exactly Jennie was hoping to get out of her.

One thing that didn’t change, no matter how many times Jennie changed partner, was how much Lisa felt turned on by her. The girl’s sex appeal was undeniably strong, and Lisa was affected by it just as much as any other human being with basic eyesight. It got to the point where she had to take a cold shower whenever she heard Jennie getting it on, but thankfully Jennie did not seem to have noticed just yet.

In the mornings, Jennie would always sit at the kitchen counter having breakfast, greeting Lisa casually as if the night before had never happened. Lisa would get frustrated at Jennie’s nonchalant attitude, but never bothered to mention it. She was glad enough that none of Jennie’s conquests ever stayed overnight, it would have been embarrassing to have to sit with strangers during breakfast when all you knew about them was how they sounded like while they fuck. And that would be an awkward conversation to have.

But Lisa was too quick to assume.

One morning, Lisa walked down the stairs only to be greeted with a pink-haired girl sipping from a cup of coffee she seemed to have just made herself. Lisa stood frozen at the kitchen’s entrance, not really knowing what she was supposed to do when she knew the girl had slept with her step-sister the night before. It was the first time that Jennie had let someone stay overnight, which only made Lisa more confused and slightly curious about the relationship that her and Jennie had. The girl looked up when she noticed the presence of another person in the room, and her cheeks turned an even darker shade of pink than her hair.

“G-good morning.”

Lisa stared at her blankly.

The girl left the coffee on the counter and rubbed her palms on her light blue jeans, obviously just as uncomfortable as Lisa.

“I was just about to leave—“

“-Rosie!”

Hearing Jennie’s voice, Lisa turned around. She watched the older girl come down the stairs in a large white button-up. Her brown hair was damp from what Lisa assumed was a morning shower, and the girl’s smooth legs were exposed underneath the shirt. She was using a towel to dry her hair, and she did not seem to have realised that Lisa was also standing a few metres from her. But seeing the natural beauty in front of her, Lisa gulped at the sight. No matter how annoying her personality could be, Jennie was a true goddess. Life was unfair like that.

When Jennie looked up and met Lisa’s eyes, she stopped dead in her tracks. She didn’t seem shocked to see Lisa there, just surprised. After all, Lisa had never properly met any of the people Jennie brought home.

“Jennie?” the girl spoke up, breaking the awkward silence. She walked past Lisa carefully and reached the brunette, who had not left her spot.

Jennie looked up at the taller girl and smiled softly “Hey, sorry for the wait”

When Jennie noticed Lisa still standing, she cleared her throat and gestured towards her. “Rosie, this is Lisa.”

Lisa seemed to have woken up fully at the sound of her name, and gave the ‘Rosie’ girl a half wave. The girl smiled and said a little _hello_ in return.

“Lisa, this is Park Chaeyoung.”

Full name. What that meant to Lisa was that she was going to see this girl more often from that day onwards. She didn’t know how she felt about that.

“Is this your new sister?”

Both Jennie and Lisa cringed. They were still not comfortable with the term, and only a few people knew that they were step-sisters. It wasn’t something that they liked to share.

“Don’t call her my sister, Chaeng.”

Noticing Jennie’s tense shoulders, Chaeyoung quickly got the hint and didn’t mention anything else. Instead, she took the opportunity to say her goodbyes.

“Sorry Jen, I have to run now. I’ll call you later.” Chaeyoung left Jennie after kissing her cheek, and before walking out the door she gave Lisa a somewhat warm look. “Bye Lisa!”

Lisa waved again, still looking a bit lost.

Before she knew it, Jennie squeezed past her and entered the kitchen, pouring herself some of the coffee Chaeyoung had left.

“Your girlfriend seems nice,” Lisa mentioned as she sat down on the other side of the counter.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

Lisa smirked, taking this as a chance to have some kind of revenge for her sleepless nights.

“That’s too bad, she wasn’t half as loud as the rest of them. Maybe reconsider.”

Jennie choked on her coffee at the unexpected bold statement. She wiped her mouth with a nearby tissue and glared at the laughing blonde.

After regaining her composure, Jennie made herself another cup of coffee and walked past Lisa heading towards the stairs, with the same confidence as always. “Yeah, unlike you when you come hard in the shower.”

Lisa didn’t have anything to choke on, but her laugh was cut off immediately.

\---

To Lisa’s great relief, Jennie never brought up that embarrassing morning again. She’d still throw naughty comments here and there if she felt like it, but only with humorous intentions. Lisa concluded that Jennie loved to see her flustered.

But as the days went by, Lisa started to realise that when Jennie wasn’t screwing around, she actually turned out to be a somewhat decent person. She cooked for the both of them and made sure Lisa didn’t starve, and when she was on campus and Lisa was on her way back from school she’d send a quick text to check that she had arrived home safely. They were nowhere near being friends, but at least they could act civil during the time they live together.

In terms of night activities, Jennie still kept going. But at least she started to become more thoughtful in some way, considering that she had not been as loud as the previous times. It was still very irritating, but Lisa had her ways to block out the noise. It was working for the time being.

Just as she initially thought, Chaeyoung was with Jennie for multiple nights. She didn’t know if they had a special arrangement, but Chaeyoung was the only person that Lisa saw more than once coming out of Jennie’s bedroom. Lisa had to say that she was a really nice girl. In the few conversations they had together in the mornings, Lisa had learnt quite a few things about her, and she’d even consider Chaeyoung some sort of casual friend. She was the one that texted Lisa when Jennie was too drunk to tell her she won’t be home.

Clearly, Chaeyoung was someone special to Jennie. Lisa had to admit that she started to feel some sort of bitterness whenever she saw the sweet attitude Jennie had towards the girl. She didn’t really know how to stop feeling like that. There were many aspects of Jennie that Lisa had yet to see, but she was not sure if she’d ever get to be that close to her. Chaeyoung was also a second-year student, and Lisa just assumed they were something along the lines of friends with benefits.

Jennie wasn’t much of a talker, Lisa observed. They would obviously converse, but Lisa kept getting the feeling that Jennie just didn’t like to talk to her. There were occasions where Lisa felt as if she was speaking to a brick wall. Sometimes the blonde found herself on the verge of screaming, she didn’t know how to deal with her step-sister when she had the lone wolf attitude. Days could go by without any progress having been made between the girls.

Just to quote one of the short conversations they had, Lisa had once asked her what university course she was taking. Jennie said no and walked away. Yeah, Lisa didn’t understand either.

It’s not that Lisa disliked Jennie. She just wasn’t a fan of her uninterested behaviour. It made living under the same roof more difficult than it should be. If ever Lisa was to fall from the stairs and break her legs, Jennie would probably notice a month later. (yeah maybe she was exaggerating. Just a little.)

So, since they didn’t communicate often enough, they simply learned each other’s habits.

Whenever Lisa saw Jennie’s Porsche parked in front of the house, she knew she should avoid going upstairs. Most of the times Jennie’s guests would be with her in her bedroom, and Lisa wanted to stay clear of awkward encounters. However, that particular afternoon Jennie was not in her room.

It was the end of yet another busy day, and Lisa was walking home. Noticing the red car in the driveway, the blonde sighed in frustration and shook her head as she approached the house entrance, expecting to have a rough evening. But when Lisa unlocked the front door, she was met with the sight of Jennie fast asleep on the couch. The brunette had her reading glasses on, and her laptop was on sleep mode. _She must have fallen asleep a while ago_ , Lisa thought. There were sheets of paper with sketches and annotations all over the small table in front of the couch, an indication that the older girl was working on some sort of assignment.

_Jennie wanted to be a fashion designer?_

Even though Lisa knew nothing about fashion, she had to say they were very good sketches. Considering Jennie’s wardrobe, it shouldn’t have been surprising that the girl was pursuing that career. Lisa unconsciously smiled. She would sometimes forget that Jennie was also a student with dreams, and that she didn’t only go to university to party.

Lisa dropped her schoolbag on the floor and approached the sleepy girl. She noticed a few strands of loose hair covering her face, and Jennie’s nose would scrunch up whenever she felt the hair tickling. Lisa leaned down and slowly brought her hand up in front of Jennie’s face, carefully pushing the hair back and pausing to watch the girl’s peaceful figure. When Jennie wasn’t teasing the hell out of her, Lisa had to admit that she sort of liked having her around. The two had a very weird dynamic, but Lisa had gotten used to seeing Jennie in the mornings before leaving for school, and receiving her text when she came back home. Maybe her company wasn’t the best, but it was better than spending her days alone.

Assuming Jennie was tired and needed some comfortable sleep, Lisa cautiously removed her reading glasses and placed them on the table with the rest of Jennie’s things. She put Jennie’s laptop away and collected all the loose worksheets into a pile. She then walked upstairs to change into a more comfortable grey shirt and some sweatpants. Before going back down, she stopped by Jennie’s room and got her blanket from the bed, thinking that the girl might have felt a bit cold.

When she walked up to Jennie, she was still sleeping soundly. Lisa gently draped the blanket around her, and took a sharp intake of breath when Jennie started turning around on the couch. Luckily, she had not woken up but simply snuggled into the blanket she had been given. Lisa let out a sigh of relief, and stepped away quietly.

Usually, dinner was always prepared by Jennie. She was by far the better cook between the two. Lisa did not really know how to prepare a full meal, she was used to order take out or eat whatever her dad left her before Jennie moved in. Given the tired look of the older girl, Lisa thought it’d be nice for her to wake up and have dinner ready (without her being the one making it all for once). Lisa was determined to make a relaxing evening for Jennie, and maybe improve their weird relationship in the process of it. She knew that they had probably started with the wrong foot, and perhaps all they needed were a few gestures of kindness.

Halfway through making the easiest pasta she could find the recipe for online, Lisa heard slow footsteps behind her. She turned her head to see a confused Jennie standing by the door, her eyes half open and the blanket still around her shoulders.

“What are you doing?”

“Making us dinner,” Lisa answered facing the stove once again.

“I can take over if you want.”

Lisa shook her head. “Don’t worry, it’s almost ready.”

“Okay.”

Jennie sounded a little lost but she left either way, going back to the couch and turning on the TV to waste time. Lisa was slightly nervous about the final result. She had the two plates ready, and the pasta did not look bad at all, but nothing compared to what Jennie normally made. She could only hope it was edible. She washed her hands and finally carried the plates of pasta to the living room, where Jennie watched her approach with a look of curiosity.

Placing one of the plates in front of the seated girl, Lisa waited her judgement. Jennie eyed the contents if it, and a small smile formed on her lips.

“This is cute.”

“Cute?”

“Yeah, adorable.”

Lisa tilted her head like a lost puppy. “Does that mean you’ll eat it or…?”

Jennie laughed and grabbed the fork she was offered. When she tasted the food, her face was blank. She chewed slowly and looked up to see Lisa still staring. After swallowing, she gestured to the space next to her on the couch “Sit down and eat”

Lisa didn’t have to be told twice. She dropped herself next to Jennie and tried the pasta herself, expecting it to be good for Jennie to be still eating it. But as she tasted the overcooked pasta, she frowned. That was unexpected. It was so… tasteless. Lisa glanced to her side and saw that Jennie was not showing any sign of disliking it. So Lisa kept eating, even though all her excitement was gone. She really was hoping to impress Jennie, but it looked like she felt so bad that she didn’t have the courage to tell Lisa how bad it was. However, while Lisa was struggling to swallow every bite of the barely edible food, Jennie had already finished eating. Her plate was empty. Although scared to get insulted, Lisa wanted to know why Jennie had not complained.

“Did you- did you like it?”

Jennie’s eyes were still fixed on the comedy series playing on the TV, but she nodded nonetheless.

“…Yeah?”

Jennie just hummed in agreement.

Lisa was not convinced. She looked down at her plate and moved the food around with the fork, not in the mood to keep eating.

“It’s fine, you know,” she mumbled, still not looking at Jennie. “I’m a very bad cook. You can order take out if you want.”

Discouraged from the lack of response, Lisa sighed and started to get up. There was no point in pretending, the dinner had been terrible. Chances were that Jennie was going to have a stomach-ache throughout the whole night.

But before she could leave, Jennie grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. This time, she was looking directly at Lisa, and the blonde had to admit that she got goosebumps at the intensity of her stare.

“I said I liked it. I finished it, didn’t I?” she asked rhetorically.

Lisa nodded. Jennie let go of her hand and leaned back, returning to her TV show. Beside her, Lisa remained silent, not knowing if she should have taken Jennie’s words as a compliment. Again, it was not the easiest task to start a normal conversation with the older girl, so Lisa just had to keep her thoughts to herself.

A few minutes passed, and neither girl had moved. However, the silence was broken unexpectedly by Jennie, surprising Lisa.

“Why did you cook?”

Lisa shrugged and joined Jennie in the comfortable position, their shoulders touching.

“You were exhausted. I wanted to do something… nice.”

“For me?”

Lisa nodded, rubbing circles on her knee. She was, for reasons she didn’t understand, blushing. Was it not normal for step-sisters to be nice from time to time?

If Lisa had looked up she would have seen Jennie also feeling slightly flustered at the innocent admission. They were not used to be particularly friendly with each other, so that was new and most definitely welcomed.

Lisa was still silent and looking at nothing in particular. She was quietly thinking to herself, regretting putting the two of them in that embarrassing situation. Her thoughts stopped abruptly when she felt Jennie’s lips press a gentle kiss on her cheek. She barely felt it, but it definitely happened.

“Thank you, Lisa.”

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys have been really sweet in the comments, thank you.
> 
> until next time.


	3. three

Things had definitely improved between Lisa and Jennie.

Lisa was surprised to see Jennie talking to her more, beyond the simple greetings. She would ask how her day went if she was home when Lisa returned from school. Instead of texting, she would actually call and ask if everything was okay. All these little actions would always touch Lisa’s heart. She had gotten used to a cold and indifferent Jennie, but the change in attitude was definitely something positive. What Lisa had also noticed was that Jennie stayed more and more nights at home spending time with her rather than with random strangers.

The first time it happened, it was a bit of a surprise. Lisa had come back home expecting to have the house to herself. From the empty living room, she guessed that Jennie was out like usual. But she was proven wrong when, on the way to her bedroom, she was met with the view of Jennie stepping out of the shower.

The brunette only had a white towel covering her, which meant that her legs and shoulders were on full display. Now, the respectful thing for Lisa to do would have been, logically, keeping her eyes at a safe level. But when little droplets of water slowly travelled down Jennie’s visible collarbones, Lisa’s gaze couldn’t help but follow the wet trail. However, the end of said trail was down into the towel. Right through Jennie’s cleavage. Lisa gulped.

“Hello there.”

Lisa’s eyes snapped back up instantly. Jennie must have noticed her staring to have that Cheshire cat smile. Lisa could feel the tips of her ears turning red in embarrassment. Why was it so hot all of a sudden?

“You’re home.”

Jennie laughed at Lisa’s stiff posture.

“So it seems,” she answered, walking towards Lisa.

“…no party night?”

Jennie stopped in front of her room’s door, and just before she went in she shook her head and eyed Lisa attentively. “I didn’t feel like being out tonight.”

When Jennie entered her room, Lisa stood frozen on her spot. Their interaction got her heart racing and she had to lean back against the nearest wall to even out her breath. Seeing Jennie’s after-shower state was not something that happened every day, in fact it was the first time Lisa got to appreciate Jennie’s toned body properly with barely any clothing in the way. She couldn’t explain why she was reacting in such manner, but it was a _really_ bad sign.

It started with that kiss on the cheek. Lisa had not expected it, and so she blushed furiously when Jennie headed to the kitchen afterwards. Lisa just held the spot that the brunette’s lips had touched like she was too afraid that the feeling would fade away. It didn’t happen again, it was probably just a sign of gratitude from Jennie. But still, it made Lisa feel all fuzzy.

Yes, Jennie was extremely attractive and that could not be denied, but Lisa had met plenty of pretty girls in her life and not one of them made her feel this unsteady. The way she spoke, the way she moved,… anything she did was enough to keep Lisa on edge every time they were in close proximity. Jennie came into her life and suddenly nothing seemed to make sense. She wasn’t her sister. She wasn’t really a friend. Lisa didn’t know what to call whatever they were. It wasn’t the first time she was rethinking over what she felt for Jennie, but once again she didn’t find an answer.

\---

Later on that night, Lisa found herself comfortably sitting in bed with her back to the wall and her cat resting on her legs. She scratched behind his ears and smiled widely at Leo’s cute purrs. She had just finished dinner and didn’t have anything to do, so she decided to enjoy some quality time with her favourite (and only) cat. Jennie was also in her room, but from the silence Lisa presumed she was already asleep.

Just as Leo wandered off and out of Lisa’s room, Jennie’s door could be heard opening and closing. Lisa pretended to be on her phone, but her eyes kept stealing glances through her own open door in hopes to get a glimpse of Jennie and see what she was up to. It seemed that being around the older girl was the only way she could escape boredom. As if hearing her thoughts, Jennie appeared in her doorway and leaned against its frame. She was wearing her pastel pink pyjamas, but her features lacked any sign of sleepiness.

“Can’t sleep?” Lisa asked putting her phone away.

“I’ve been trying to but no.”

Lisa gave her a comprehensive smile.

“Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to watch a film with me, you know… to kill time.”

The shy tone was new to Lisa, but clearly Jennie wasn’t familiar with the idea of asking her step-sister to hang out, the same girl she had been tormenting since the very first day. Lisa found it quite funny if she was being honest. Jennie looked small and adorable. There was nothing wrong with wanting some company every once in a while, and Lisa was never going to say no to a night in with Jennie. She really wanted to get to know her more, and she could only hope that Jennie was open to that.

And maybe that was all Lisa needed to figure out what was going on with her heart.

“Sure thing.”

They ended up watching Frozen. Of course, it was Lisa’s choice.

Throughout the duration of the film, Lisa would laugh like a child and make jokes out of anything that happened on screen. Jennie was a much more silent viewer, but whenever she heard Lisa react to every scene she couldn’t help but smile. They had never sat together to do anything other than eat, but both girls were clearly enjoying their little movie night. It was… different. They didn’t speak a lot, just a few words thrown here and there occasionally. But it wasn’t awkward. Not even close.

When some scenes were not as exciting, Lisa would pretend to stretch a bit and peek at Jennie’s reactions. She didn’t have any. Lisa was having a hard time in reading the other girl, she wanted to know more about who she really was. What she did during her spare time, at uni or just anything about her life before she moved in. They seemed to be in a good position to talk and share a couple of things so Lisa had to take the chance then and there.

She thought of a million things to ask, but at the end she only came back to one reoccurring doubt at the back of her mind.

“Jennie?”

“Hmm.”

Jennie wasn’t necessarily looking at her, but Lisa knew she had all her attention when she spoke her name.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You are already asking a question though,” Jennie teased, and Lisa laughed a little to release a bit of tension. She knew it was not something her and Jennie talked about, ever, but there was nothing wrong in trying, or so she guessed.

“Well, you see, I was just wondering—you and… Chaeyoung, are you not together?”

She didn’t know why she thought of that. It was dumb, really. Maybe a bit childish too. But if there was anyone that was close to Jennie in a way that wasn’t just physical, that was Rosé. It wasn’t any of her business, but she wanted to know. Sue her.

Jennie kept silent, and Lisa could almost hear the hesitation in her voice when she answered.

“No, we’re not.”

“Then… friends?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“So, you’re not dating?”

“No.”

From the girl’s short replies, Lisa could easily get the hint. Chaeyoung was not someone Jennie felt comfortable talking about, so to not make things any more awkward Lisa just nodded and changed the topic swiftly. She could feel that there was more to their history, but she didn’t have the guts to ask anything else. With more time, maybe one day Jennie would tell her without Lisa having to ask at all. If she was being completely honest, the reason that anything about Jennie and Chaeyoung bothered her in the first place was because unlike all of Jennie’s other one-night stands, Chaeyoung was getting a different treatment. And that was a very clear indication that feelings were involved, whichever those may be.

For some reason, just the thought of Jennie being so deeply involved with someone like Chaeyoung made Lisa feel uneasy. The pink-haired girl was beautiful, kind, and had the sweetest soul on Earth. Lisa just didn’t understand how she could be with Jennie, who was close to the complete opposite of her. And yet Jennie had never looked at Rosé with anything but complete adoration in her eyes. Sure, it wasn’t love, but Jennie was definitely capable of having feelings that went beyond being _civil._ So why wasn’t she giving Lisa a chance to get to know her? It was weird for the blonde to be making such an effort to get someone’s attention. But every single time she would just tell herself it was a phase. She didn’t get to interact with Jennie as often or as closely as her special ‘friend’, but Lisa felt like they were making some kind of progress.

“And you?” Lisa turned her head, eyebrows raised at Jennie’s question. “Are you… dating?”

Lisa raised her hand up to her chest and pointed at herself. “Me?”

An uncontrollable giggle escaped the blonde, bringing the hand to hold her stomach as she leaned back. But when she noticed that Jennie’s expression remained neutral, she sat up straight and coughed, clearing her throat. “Ehm no, I don’t… date.”

“You don’t?”

“Well, I just didn’t find the right person to stick around, I guess. And I’m not a very interesting girl.”

“You believe in that? The _right person_ bullshit?” Jennie snorted at Lisa’s reply, but somehow her tone sounded more melancholic than teasing.

“I do. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be loved.”

“Yeah, as long as you’re ready for heartbreak…”

“I’ll take the risk.”

Jennie kept quiet for a moment. Lisa wasn’t sure where the negativity came from, but obviously it was yet one more thing she didn’t understand about Jennie. Her unusual hatred towards stable relationship sort of explained her tendency to avoid having sex with the same person multiple times, Lisa thought. But then again, Chaeyoung was different.

Just as Lisa started to think that their conversation was over, Jennie nudged her shoulder lightly as she leaned back comfortably.

“I can only speak for what I’ve seen but… you’re far from _not interesting_ , Lisa.”

Lisa smiled. “Is that so? Then, what do you think I am?”

Jennie licked her lips in thought, and Lisa had to force herself not to stare.

“I guess I still have to figure you out.”

“I could say the same for you.”

“Good luck to both of us, then.” The brunette smirked, and simply returned her gaze to the TV.

Well, that sounded a lot like a challenge. Jennie was essentially telling her ‘You can try, but let’s see if you’ll succeed’. Lisa was not sure why, but a sparkle had ignited inside her. It was hot and warm and hopeful. Jennie was by far the most intriguing person she had ever met, it was way too easy to be drawn to her.

But for now, being next to Jennie was enough.

So as the film continued playing on screen, Lisa resumed her humorous commentary as if nothing had happened. And Jennie went back to her relaxed self.

Surprisingly, neither girl had fallen asleep on the couch, so at the end they were able to climb up the stairs side-by-side and make some final comments about the ending of the Disney film, although the short conversation Lisa had initiated was still on her mind.

Still giggling on the way to their respective rooms, Lisa found herself in a state of total peace. It had been a while since she had enjoyed being around someone this much. She liked to think that Jennie also had a good time with her. It was some sort of… bonding time. Or at least, Lisa hoped it was. But at that moment and time, she didn’t really mind.

With her hand on the doorknob, Lisa cleared her throat and pushed a few strands of loose hair behind her ears.

“Jennie.” she called out.

“Hmm?” the older girl acknowledged, clearly ready to sleep.

“Tonight… it was nice.”

Jennie gave her a surprised look, but smiled at the blonde’s words.

“Indeed.”

Lisa pressed her lips together and nodded “Goodnight, then.”

“Night.”

\---

Some things changed after that night. For starters, Jennie and Lisa started having more movie nights. It wouldn’t happen every day, but it was definitely a weekly tradition. It was not anything hugely significant, but it was a nice way to end the day together. Initially, Lisa thought it was a good thing. When her father called and asked how things were with her ‘sister’, Lisa would always say that they were doing just great. What he couldn’t see was how Lisa winced every time he called Jennie her ‘sister’. No matter how many weeks had passed from the day Jennie came to live with her, Lisa was never going to see her as a sister. One, they didn’t share the same blood and most importantly two, the physical attraction she felt towards Jennie kept growing with each passing day. And that was not something you should feel for your sister in any way possible. So as much as Lisa liked spending time with Jennie, she had to force herself to keep her cool when they were close.

Obviously Jennie’s night activities had not stopped. She’d still have random people in her room every few nights, and lately those nights had been driving Lisa insane. She didn’t know why she still felt this sort of rage whenever she heard Jennie getting thoroughly fucked, she had been in the same situation many times already. But even if she had her headphones on to block out the noises of pleasure coming from the other girl, Lisa still was not able to sleep peacefully. Jennie also continued to spend some nights out until the early hours of morning, and Lisa could only be left wondering what she had been up to throughout the night. The idea of Jennie having such a busy sexual life somehow bothered Lisa in a way that she could not explain. But she couldn’t help it. The frustration was building up, and Lisa didn’t know how to hide it anymore.

Eventually, all the tension within Lisa was bound to cause disasters.

On one afternoon, Lisa was lying on the couch with her laptop open resting on her knees. She was typing up an essay due at 11 p.m. the same day, which meant that she had about twenty tabs open and the urge to look at the word count after every word she wrote. But unlike other times where she’d drag out finishing it until late, she wanted to complete her work as soon as possible so her and Jennie could watch something together. It was one of the few things she started to look forward to during the week. The couple of hours where she was allowed to take a break from the world and stay in with Jennie were very precious to her, so she made sure she did not have anything in the way of that.

As she worked, Lisa thought that Jennie must had been taking a nap upstairs. The girl had not come back down once she went up to her room, and so Lisa was left to conclude that she was just very tired. Except when Jennie walked down the stairs all dressed up and with her makeup done, Lisa felt a knot in her stomach. Jennie was very much ready for a party night, Lisa had seen that look before.

“I’m going out!” she called out to Lisa as she bent down to slip on a pair of black heels.

Lisa was feeling a sudden rage. Maybe her and Jennie were not the closest friends, but Lisa thought that she was slowly staring to grow on her. After all, Jennie was making an effort to get along with Lisa, and she was the first one to suggest having movie nights as a way to get closer in some way. In the past weeks, she had always sent a text to remind Lisa to not make any plans for Friday nights as that was _their_ night. And Lisa didn’t know why she was feeling so angry, but the thought of Jennie replacing her with one of her usual one-night lovers did not sit well with her at all. Was Jennie really giving up their time together for another one of her wild nights out?

That was when it all went downhill.

Maybe it was the built up frustration, or maybe it was the underlying feeling of jealousy, but Lisa couldn’t stop herself.

“Yeah, can’t survive a night without getting fucked, can you?” Lisa snapped, her eyes not even glancing up to see Jennie’s frown. Did Jennie really not care about her at all? Not even enough to stay at home for one single night a week?

“Excuse me?”

“You heard it the first time.”

“I did. And I’m waiting for you to fucking take it back.” Her stern and harsh tone sent a chill down Lisa’s spine. She had never heard Jennie being so angry, but at that precise moment she felt just as pissed. When she looked up, she saw fire in Jennie’s eyes.

“I said what I said. And it’s not like you can deny it either,” she gestured at Jennie’s appearance, “just look at yourself.”

Lisa regretted her stupid statement as soon as she said it. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Jennie’s outfit, she had the freedom to dress however she wanted. Her black dress was short and hugged every curve of her body just right, and thinking that another man or woman was going to enjoy taking it off her was what really bothered the blonde to no end. But Lisa had just slut-shamed her out of ridiculous jealousy, and that was definitely a shitty move.

The firm sound of Jennie’s heels coming closer and closer put Lisa on edge. She didn’t know how she had lost control of her emotions so easily to infuriate Jennie like this. She wasn’t supposed to voice her unreasonable thoughts out aloud. And yet she did it, like the complete idiot she turned into whenever she was around Jennie.

Once Jennie was right above Lisa’s seated position, she dropped her purse onto the nearby table and glared like never before.

“I don’t know what the fuck has gotten into you, Lisa,” she started coldly, “but no one, and I mean absolutely _no one_ can tell me how to live _my_ life.”

Lisa just looked straight into her eyes, and she instantly knew she had fucked up.

“I’ll have sex with whoever I want and whenever I fucking feel like it, without needing _anyone’s_ approval.” Jennie’s was furious beyond imagination. “And I sure as hell don’t need _your_ approval. You know… I was really trying to be a nice step-sister for you, but if my lifestyle bothers you so damn much, just pretend I don’t even fucking exist.”

And with that last line, Jennie grabbed her stuff and walked right out the door, not waiting one more second to hear Lisa’s reply.

With regret hitting right to the core, Lisa jumped up and ran behind the older girl. She pulled the door open, but as she stepped outside all she could see was Jennie’s red Porsche already driving out into the distance. Lisa groaned loudly in frustration and kicked a nearby pebble, not believing what she had just done. Over the weeks her and Jennie had built something, a sisterly bond or a friendship or whatever the fuck it was, but in just a matter of minutes Lisa had let it all go to hell. And for what?

Lisa had been feeling it for quite some time. She didn’t know how or when it began, but there was definitely something more that attracted her to the girl. Something that she was not supposed to feel, something that was slowly taking over her. Lisa tried to ignore it, for the sake of her family. The thought of Jennie being her step-sister was a red flag, she was untouchable. But as she watched her leave, Lisa could only feel pain. It was already too late.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, that was a bit wild. 
> 
> thank you to everyone that left kudos and comments so far, i really appreciate it. hope you'll stick around for the next chapters!
> 
> goodbye for now


	4. four

Lisa had not been able to even think about falling asleep that night. After standing outside for what felt like hours, she went back inside the house and sat back down on the very same couch. She stared aimlessly at the wall, not knowing what she was supposed to do to fix things with Jennie. She was almost certain that Jennie wasn’t going to come back that night, and even if she did, it was highly unlikely that she’d ever speak to her again.

Lisa needed to find a way to get to talk to Jennie. Maybe she was not going to ever be forgiven, but the least she could do was to apologise and explain herself.

Instead of tormenting herself alone, Lisa picked up her phone and called the only person she knew would offer her valuable advice to overcome her problem.

“Lisa, you’re a complete and utter dumbass.”

“Unnie!”

“Hey, don’t look at me like that. I’m just telling you how it is.”

Lisa whined and stomped her feet like a child.

“Jisoo unnie, you’re supposed to make me feel better!”

Biting on a chicken wing, Jisoo shook her head repeatedly. “I’m telling you Lisa, you fucked up. What you told her was very wrong, not to mention how offensive you’ve been. Slut shaming? Seriously?”

Jisoo had been Lisa’s tutor the year before, and the two girls had become friends in no time. Although Jisoo was a few years older, they shared the same humour and were very comfortable around each other. The older girl was on her last year at university, as well as being a part-timer at KFC, and she had kindly visited Lisa after her shift to offer her own kind of moral support (that being, hitting her with the harsh reality). Of course, she had brought a bucket of fried chicken as a way to cheer up the blonde. It didn’t really work.

After hearing Jisoo’s words, Lisa looked down at her lap in shame. She knew that what she had said was wrong. It was not something that she would have ever said, under any circumstances, but somehow Jennie had managed to push her to her limit without even being aware of it. It was already past 3 a.m., and Jennie had still not returned.

Noticing Lisa’s discomfort, Jisoo swallowed her bite and continued. “For her part, she shouldn’t invade your personal space and you know… have loud sex under the same roof as you.”

“I basically called her a whore, unnie.”

“Yeah, you did. Very dumb move.”

“But she… she always goes out and- and spends the night with people and—I just…” Lisa tried to explain, to defend herself, but truth was that she didn’t have any right to judge. Jennie had the freedom to do whatever the hell she wanted, and Lisa’s attitude had been very childish. She just didn’t know how to let her know that her outburst had nothing to do with Jennie and everything to do with Lisa’s stupid jealousy. Because she had been so, so stupid.

“I understand Lisa, but the way she lives her life is entirely her choice! You should have just spoken to her and explained your issues, that way you could’ve set some basic rules about living together.”

Jisoo reached out and patted Lisa on the back. It wasn’t going to make her feel better, but Lisa was young and needed to understand when she needed to admit her faults. Lisa nodded and let her head rest gently on Jisoo’s shoulder.

“I just feel weird things around her.”

“Uh, okay?”

“Like—I want to get close to her. But at the same time, there’s something telling me it’s not worth it.”

“Right. Yeah.”

“I told you, it’s weird.”

“Lisa,” Jisoo grabbed a tissue to wipe her hands clean, and finally met Lisa’s sad eyes, “why are you making such an effort with her? You’re not usually this persistent. Just because you have to live with the girl doesn’t mean you have to be best buddies.”

“I don’t really know why,” Lisa shrugged, “Jennie is just… Jennie, you know?”

“No, I don’t know.”

Lisa’s eyes lit up just at the thought of the girl. “It’s hard to explain. It’s her aura and— and her cool vibe! And-“

“—and what? You have a crush on her or something?” Jisoo commented amused.

“NO! Oh no, no, no, I just like… being around her, that’s all.” Lisa was a bit too quick with her reply, but she tried to cover her nervousness with an awkward laugh.

“And yet, you managed to make her run for the hills.”

Lisa knew that Jisoo was teasing, but being reminded of how mad Jennie was when she left brought her mood down immediately. She frowned and leaned into Jisoo’s side once again. 

“You know I didn’t mean it, right? I don’t think that way of people.”

Jisoo rubbed Lisa’s shoulder. “Of course I know. But you still said it to Jennie, and I don’t think _she_ knows.”

“I don’t think she will ever want to see my face again.”

“Hey, I’m sure she’d be willing to hear you out.” Jisoo reached forward to grab another piece of chicken. “Eat up, Lisa-ya.”

Still showing an exaggerated baby-like sad expression, Lisa gave in and joined her friend.

Sometimes Jisoo could be a bit too brutally honest, but she was an extremely loyal and supportive friend. Lisa would have been lost without her. No matter how many times they acted like children, Jisoo still was very mature in the right situation. Lisa found herself listening to her friend speak about her shift at KFC, some story about weird costumers that were too specific with their orders. That’s when she heard the familiar car engine sound coming from the driveway. Just the thought of having to face Jennie made her body tense up. Other noises seemed to fade out all at once, and Lisa focused entirely on the sounds coming from outside.

“… and I’m sure my manager is doing some voodoo shit with the chicken bones—Lisa? You still there?” Jisoo asked the blonde who had clearly stopped paying attention.

Lisa could hear the key turning to open the front door, and anxiously anticipated Jennie’s entrance.

When she appeared from behind the door, Lisa could swear she stopped breathing. Jennie had not noticed her at first, but when their eyes met her gaze turned completely cold. She looked away and instead pushed the door fully open.

Lisa didn’t know how to feel when she noticed that Jennie was not alone. Chaeyoung came in right behind her. The pink-haired girl was surprised to see that they were not alone, and so she bowed politely towards Lisa and what seemed to be her guest.

And then there was awkwardness. No one seemed to know what to do for a few suffocating seconds, Lisa would have laughed if it wasn’t for the fact that she was scared beyond belief.

The tense atmosphere was broken by no other than Jisoo. She eyed the tall girl that had just walked in from top to bottom and whistled cheekily. “Damn Lisa, you didn’t tell me your sister had such pretty friends.”

“She’s not my sister,” corrected Lisa as she watched Jisoo shamelessly stare.

Chaeyoung blushed and couldn’t help a shy smile towards the unknown girl. Jisoo winked when she saw. Lisa elbowed her friend in embarrassment. But she couldn’t really blame her, Chaeyoung looked really beautiful with her short white dress and red lipstick. Innocent, but still a very sexy look.

Jennie was still not looking towards the sitting duo. She just silently took off her heels and ignored Lisa’s existence.

“Well, pretty angel and not-my-sister, would you like to join us?” Jisoo offered, pointing at the KFC take out bags still left on the table.

For some reason, when Chaeyoung’s eyes focused on the food, there was a whole new glow to her. She stared intently at the various types of fried chicken, and Lisa could swear she was about to drool.

When Jennie saw what caught her guest’s attention, she rolled her eyes but did not look too shocked.

Just as Chaeyoung heard Jennie step towards the stairs, she snapped out of her state and looked at her in question. “Jen?”

Jennie shook her head without stopping. “It’s okay. Go and eat, Rosie.”

For a moment, Lisa saw a trace of guilt on Chaeyoung’s features, but it soon disappeared when Jennie climbed up the stairs.

Jisoo took her chance and made space on the couch by moving up and squishing Lisa onto the edge. “Please, come and sit down,” she said excitedly and patted the space next to her.

While Jisoo was too caught up with the new arrival, Lisa could not stop glancing at the stairs, wanting to chase after Jennie. She knew the girl was not in the mood to talk, she didn’t really know if by knocking on her door she’d get a slap on the face.

“So, Rosie was it?”

“Park Chaeyoung, but you can call me Rosé if you wish.”

“I’m Jisoo, but you can call me anything you want.”

Lisa didn’t know why or how, but Jisoo’s terrible flirting seemed to be working. Chaeyoung was still giggling and smiling, so Lisa thought she was good to go.

“Girls, I’m gonna head up. Enjoy the food.”

Without waiting for them to notice her leaving, Lisa went up the stairs in a rush. She was not going to let Jennie got to sleep before she got the chance to apologise. Waiting around for a miracle was definitely not going to solve things.

When she reached Jennie’s bedroom door, Lisa noticed that it was ajar. Still catching her breath from the sprint, she leaned sideways to peek inside and check if Jennie was actually there. But as soon as she got a glimpse of the older girl, Lisa’s face turned red and she looked away immediately.

Jennie was changing out of her dress, meaning that Lisa got a clear view of Jennie’s body covered by lacy black lingerie. Lisa was so flustered that she accidentally missed a step and lost her balance, slamming her hand against the wall to keep herself upright. However, she had to curse at herself for how loud she had been, knowing very well that Jennie had probably heard her and assumed the worst. She heard rushed movements from the room, and closed her eyes in anticipation.

Jennie opened her door wide and looked at the blonde in a state of pure anger. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Lisa stood all the way up and stepped closer, quick enough to stop Jennie from slamming the door in her face. The shorter girl had covered herself with a long white shirt, but it did nothing to make Lisa forget about Jennie’s almost naked form. Pushing those thoughts away, she cleared her throat and looked at an expectant Jennie.

“I need to explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain.”

Once again, Lisa stopped the door with her foot.

“Jennie, please.”

Jennie was still trying to push her door closed, so Lisa opted for using a more forceful method. From the slight open way she had, Lisa slid her body all the way in and finally let the door shut behind her.

Jennie’s eyes were wide in shock, baffled by the sudden audacity of the younger girl. She was quick to go back to glaring.

“Get out!”

Lisa leaned back and pressed her body firmly on the door, crossing her arms.

“I’m not leaving unless you let me speak to you.”

“You have already said what you needed to say,” Jennie hissed. “Now get the hell out of my room.”

“I didn’t mean it Jennie, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t wanna hear it.”

“I swear Jennie, I was just angry. I wasn’t thinking and—“

“—and you called me a whore. Your apologies won’t fix that.”

Even though Jennie was still furious, Lisa had no intention of giving up.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh no?” Jennie scoffed. “Right. You just said I can’t stop fucking people.”

Lisa sighed in frustration. She should have known Jennie wouldn’t have listened to her that easily. It was completely understandable, but Lisa was determined to not leave before they cleared the air. She needed Jennie to know that she did NOT support slut-shaming, and much less meant to attack her with the harsh statements. So there was one thing Lisa could do.

And that was, tell the truth.

“I was just upset,” she finally let out.

Jennie didn’t reply, for the first time letting Lisa continue.

“Today you were supposed to spend time with me. But you just… got ready to leave. Like every other night. I wasn’t thinking and just snapped.”

Lisa was looking down at her feet, afraid to look up. Jennie on her part softened her gaze just slightly.

“What I said was extremely wrong, I know I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. You’re free to do whatever you want. I know that.”

“Lisa, just because I go out doesn’t mean I’m going to sleep with someone,” Jennie pointed out, her tone less harsh than before but still quite mad.

Lisa nodded. She knew she had been assuming things she shouldn’t have.

“And you were working, I didn’t think watching a film was going to be in your plans.”

Again, Lisa didn’t know what to say. She had indeed been working the whole afternoon, and Jennie was probably just trying to not distract her. Lisa felt so stupid. Her bottom lip started to tremble slightly, and even though she tried to hide it, Jennie still noticed.

Letting her arms fall to her sides, Jennie relaxed her shoulders and ran a hand through her hair.

“Don’t cry.”

Jennie’s first words of comfort pushed Lisa to completely break apart. The tears flowed freely down her cheeks, and she brought her hand up to her face in an attempt to wipe them away.

“I’m sorry.”

Looking at the sobbing girl, Jennie sighed in defeat and stepped forward to wrap her arms around Lisa. The blonde didn’t hesitate to bury her face into Jennie’s neck, listening to her murmuring ‘it’s okay’ and holding her close.

\---

Lisa woke up when the sun was already at its highest point. She didn’t have to look at the time to know it was way past midday, which was fine after all as it was a Saturday. She sat up and stretched her arms above her head. When she managed to open her eyes fully, she had to do a double take. Her usual blanket was white with black bunnies, yet the one covering her legs was a light shade of pink. She looked around her and noticed a desk full of thick textbooks, and the chair in front had a Chanel cardigan draped over it. When she scanned the walls she noticed various fashion magazine covers stuck all over. It didn’t take a genius to realise that this wasn’t her room.

Lisa was in Jennie’s room. More specifically, she fell asleep on Jennie’s bed.

She rubbed her eyes, trying to remember what happened the night before. She remembered having a sort of emotional breakdown in Jennie’s arms, but didn’t recall what happened after.

She pushed the blanket off in one swift move and stood up. She looked down and noticed that she was wearing the same clothes as the night before. Having just woken up and not wanting to think too much, Lisa just walked out and headed to the bathroom to carry out her morning routine. Answers could wait.

\---

Lisa wasn’t too sure about where Jennie and her stood after the events of the previous night. She knew Jennie didn’t hate her to the point of letting her cry alone, that much she had seen. As she changed in her room, Lisa heard her phone buzz from the nightstand. She pulled her t-shirt down and reached for it, furrowing her brows at the sight of Jisoo’s name on the screen. She had received multiple messages from her.

**Jisoo** _  
_ don’t wanna interrupt you but just know we are leaving  
_03:52_

 **Jisoo** _  
_ if Jennie asks, Chaeng is in very good hands. hope everything went well x  
_05:31_

 **Jisoo** _  
_ are you awake?  
_12:42_

 **Jisoo** _  
_ blink twice if you’re still alive  
_14:28_

As usual, her friend always managed to steal a smile from her. She didn’t really know what Jisoo and Chaeyoung were up to, but she didn’t want to ask over text right there and then. If they actually got along and had something going on, she would be their number one supporter without a doubt.

**Lisa** _  
_ Don’t worry about me, we’re good (hopefully)  
_14:30_

 **Lisa** __  
I want to hear about you and Rosé later, don’t run away  
_14:31_

Lisa just received a bunch of eye emojis from Jisoo. After locking her phone, she finished dressing up with a pair of black Adidas shorts. She knew it was likely that she’d end up staying at home all day.

Making her way downstairs, Lisa suddenly felt nervous. She clearly remembered Jennie hugging her, but that did not necessarily mean they were on good terms. The possibility of Jennie still not wanting to talk to her was enough to make Lisa feel as anxious as the night before, and that was not the nicest way to start her (very late) day. She could hear noises coming from the kitchen, which only meant that Jennie was cooking. That was a good sign, Lisa supposed. She didn’t leave.

Lisa hesitantly stood a few feet away from the kitchen entrance. She could see Jennie’s back as she cooked. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, exposing her neck. She had to admit that the older girl had never looked bad. Ever. She was naturally beautiful, and Lisa liked the fact that _maybe_ she was one of the few people that got to see her like this in the morning. She was wearing casual clothing, and so Lisa thought she also wasn’t planning to go out either. Not anytime soon, at least.

When she slowly stepped into the kitchen, she knew Jennie was aware her presence by her stiff posture. Lisa couldn’t tell if she was intentionally ignoring her or just waiting for her to make the first move. She coughed and rubbed the back of her neck.

“Good morning,” she said softly.

Jennie didn’t reply and Lisa frowned.

The smell of kimchi fried rice filled the room, and Lisa didn’t know what to do anymore. She thought she had explained herself, she thought Jennie was going to give her a chance to earn her forgiveness. But she thought wrong. To save Jennie from the awkward atmosphere, Lisa had no other choice but to leave without making any sound.

\---

Some people may call her pathetic for locking herself up in her bedroom and moping, but that was what Lisa had ended up doing after leaving Jennie. She had never been in that situation, she never got herself involved in a serious argument. Her life used to be boring, but peaceful. Now that she had Jennie, something seemed to have woken up inside her. She couldn’t control how she felt about the older girl and nothing was giving her the answers she needed. She never knew having a step-sister could result in so many problems. She just wanted things to go back to normal between her and Jennie. That was all.

As if hearing her prayers, a soft knock echoed through her room. Lisa’s door wasn’t actually locked, so there was no reason for her to leave the comfortable position she found herself in. When the door was pushed opened, Lisa saw Jennie’s hesitant eyes looking at her. She didn’t want to be seen acting like a baby again, so Lisa pushed herself back against the headboard and hugged her knees, facing the window (because that was very mature). This time, she waited for Jennie to speak up first.

“Lisa-ya.”

“Hmm,” she hummed, knowing for certain that her voice was not steady enough. Jennie sounded strangely tired too.

Lisa then felt the side of her mattress dip, signalling that Jennie was right next to her. The blonde held her breath, waiting. She couldn’t predict what Jennie wanted to say. She shyly glanced to her side, looking at Jennie’s side profile.

“I know you apologised, but… I think I need some time,” Jennie said drawing circles on the mattress, “and I don’t mean just for yesterday. There are other things that I need to sort out.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No, no, not anymore. I just… had things on my mind lately.”

Lisa hugged her knees little tighter, and nodded silently. Jennie’s tone was a bit unsure, so she didn’t really know what the older girl wanted to hear.

“We’ll be okay.”

Somehow, those words were all Lisa needed to hear. She felt it. Jennie was not mad, nor sounded distant. She felt like her heart could beat again, which may have been an exaggerated expression but Lisa really didn’t care.

“And I also wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“I’ve not been very considerate, and… I guess I shouldn’t have continued to bring people home after that first night. What happened yesterday was also my fault.”

“No, it wasn’t. If I just kept my mouth shut—“

“—Lisa, please. We have been trying to live together without really knowing how to act around each other,” Jennie rebutted. “Last night it was you, who knows when my turn will come.”

As much as she wanted to argue, Lisa had to agree. For weeks they had kept pushing buttons without realising that they were not prepared for the consequences.

“So… what happens next?”

“I’m not sure. As I said, I need time.”

And Lisa would give her time. She knew that eventually, they will learn how to be part of each other’s lives. And even though she was scared of how her feelings may fuck that up, she wanted to be selfish, just for a minute.

Lisa pushed herself closer to the other girl and leaned her head on her shoulder. Although Jennie tensed up at first, she soon relaxed and wrapped both her arms around the younger girl, pressing her chin to the top of Lisa’s head. Lisa also managed to sneak her arms around Jennie’s waist, and if she could hear Lisa’s heart beating hard at the contact, she didn’t mention it. There, with Jennie’s arms around her, Lisa felt at peace.

Maybe there was nothing wrong with liking Jennie. Maybe Lisa’s feelings were not unusual. And maybe, just maybe, Jennie wasn’t as untouchable as Lisa initially thought.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things should start to get more interesting in the next few chapters. comments and kudos are always appreciated. take care everyone!
> 
> Until next time.


	5. five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every time i finish a chapter, i stare at it until i hate it and rewrite everything. but hey, still made it.

Suppose you like a girl. You see her every day, and everything she does makes you feel warm and cosy inside. Suppose this girl is not aware that you feel something for her. She cooks for you, picks you up from school with her fancy car and even buys you chocolate milk when you most need it. Now, this would be too easy if there was no spice to it. Suppose this dream girl is your step-sister. Not only that, assume also that she has never taken a romantic relationship seriously. Instead, she prefers occasional nights of passion and nothing more. Lastly, suppose that regardless of everything mentioned, every time you see her smile or laugh, you want to throw yourself at her and kiss her senseless. When you (accidentally) see her get out of the shower or change in her room, you just want her to push you against a wall and touch you where you crave her the most. 

Well, that was essentially the description of Lisa Manoban’s current life.

Weeks had passed since the argument. Jennie was awkward the first few days, sometimes avoiding Lisa when they were both home by staying in her room and ‘studying’ instead. Lisa wasn’t offended by that, she knew Jennie needed time to herself and could only wait patiently until the older girl became comfortable once again around her. As the days went on, Jennie started to loosen up a bit and went back to sit right next to Lisa when they were both watching TV, with Kuma on her lap to keep her hands busy. She would casually lean into her from time to time, but Lisa didn’t want to overthink it.

Weirdly enough, Jennie also got into the habit of picking her up from school on the days where she had dance practice until late. The first time it happened, Lisa was with two of her friends, Jungkook and Seulgi, whose jaws dropped at the sight of her step-sister’s car. Lisa had also needed to look twice before confirming that it was indeed Jennie that was leaning onto the red vehicle waiting for her. She had sunglasses on, but she was easily recognisable.

“Why are you here?”

Lisa tried her best to ignore her friends’ prying eyes burning holes through her head as she spoke to Jennie, there was no way she could give an explanation for what was happening when she didn’t understand it herself.

“Are you not happy to see me?”

“Of course I am, but to what do I owe such visit?”

Jennie shrugged and took off her sunglasses. “It’s late. You shouldn’t walk home alone.”

Lisa hadn’t pushed it any further at the time. She didn’t want to annoy Jennie with weird questions. It was thoughtful for her to worry about her safety, but she had never done that before. She had never gotten involved into Lisa’s life outside their home.

As weird as it sounded, Lisa enjoyed being in Jennie’s car. Besides having an extremely fancy interior design that made the blonde feel like she was sitting on gold, the simplicity of being in a close and intimate space with Jennie was unexplainably pleasant. However, what really kept Lisa’s mind occupied during the journey home was the sight of Jennie driving – she looked _very_ hot with the relaxed posture and the nonchalant aura.

“Your car is pretty cool.”

“Thank you.”

“Must have cost you a fortune. Did you like, save up for it?”

“No.” Jennie clenched her jaw just slightly. “It was a given to me on my eighteenth birthday.”

In theory, Jennie should have sounded happy. Lisa couldn’t even imagine receiving such an expensive car as gift, but somehow Jennie did not show any sign of appreciation.

“Oh. Was it from your mother?”

Jennie shook her head. Her eyes remained fixed on the road, but her grip on the steering wheel tightened. “My father, actually.”

That was a first. Jennie had never mentioned her dad, she didn’t have any pictures of him at home and Lisa was pretty sure they didn’t speak over the phone either. It wasn’t her place to assume, but Lisa thought it was quite clear that they did not have a good relationship. Jennie did not let emotions show easily, but somehow talking about her family always seemed to result in sorrow. Lisa wanted to reach out and hold her hand, she wanted Jennie to open up and let the pain dissolve, but something was telling her it was not a good idea to overstep that boundary.

Lisa cared a lot for Jennie, more than she imagined. And given the impromptu car ride home, the feeling was mutual to some extent.

“Thank you for picking me up.” Even the sunglasses couldn’t hide the furtive glance Jennie sent her way, making Lisa sit up a little straighter. She cleared her throat and traced unclear patterns on her covered knees to hide her nervousness, pretending it was completely normal to be so stupidly happy about seeing Jennie waiting for her. “It was very kind of you.”

It was very likely that Lisa was not being subtle about her not-so-secret feelings in any way, but Jennie’s lips turned into a smirk as if she had not taken notice of it.

“You mean, I’m not usually kind?”

Lisa blushed and shook her head, but she had to admit she was glad Jennie’s smile returned. She would gladly suffer from endless teasing all day if it meant that Jennie would stay happy.

“No, I just… didn’t expect it.” The blonde shrugged and shifted her gaze to Jennie’s side profile. “I was really tired too, so it was really nice to see your car at the front gate.”

Truthfully, Lisa wasn’t even that tired, but there was no denying that seeing Jennie was an automatic energiser. There was a sort of thrill in exploring her attraction, but the whole idea of looking and not touching wasn’t as fun as it was frustrating.

Jennie started to tap her fingers on the wheel, pursing her lips as she thought of a reply.

“Well, I didn’t have anything else to do.”

Lisa wanted to call out her lie, but she wisely opted to keep quiet. Jennie could have stayed home if she wanted to, but she didn’t. And even though Lisa was dying to know why exactly she chose to meet her instead, in the end she concluded that she didn’t really _have_ to know.

“You said it was some kind of dance club, right?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, sort of. It’s just a hobby I’ve had since… forever, really.”

“Are you any good at it?”

Lisa grinned. “I don’t know. Maybe one day you could come and watch yourself, and tell me what you think.”

It was a risky offer, but it didn’t hurt to try. The worst possible outcome would be getting insulted, but she was pretty sure that even Jennie wouldn’t be indifferent to a dance show with Lalisa Manoban as the main performer. After all, if there was anything Lisa was fully confident in, it was dancing for sure.

“I would definitely be up for that.” The car slowly came to a stop at a red light. Jennie turned to the side and pushed her sunglasses above her head, giving Lisa a curious look. “You don’t look anxious at all. Think you can make my jaw drop?”

“I can try.”

“Just tell me when and where, you’ll have my full attention.”

Lisa really didn’t want to read between the lines, but Jennie winking at her was nowhere near innocent. Not only that, but Lisa also had to pretend she didn’t catch Jennie’s eyes giving her a look-over before they returned to the road ahead. The car started moving again, and Lisa had no time to let her mind go places she shouldn’t be thinking about. It was hard to keep her feet on the ground and not get her feelings mixed up, but she couldn’t stop herself from getting the hope that maybe Jennie was not simply being nice. That maybe, there was a chance she had the same intentions as Lisa. Her teasing looked _a lot_ like flirting. 

\----

On another occasion, Jennie had taken Lisa grocery shopping. Usually, her dad would stop by every week to visit and drop off a couple bags of essential items and food, so the fridge was never actually empty. But when the two girls craved something (and that happened often), they had to go out and do the shopping themselves. Mostly it was Jennie that offered to go and she always included Lisa’s requests onto her list. But on that evening, Jennie paused in front of Lisa’s room and after having seen that the blonde was up to nothing special, she asked Lisa if she wanted to join her.

That was how Jennie ended up driving both of them to their usual supermarket. After she watched Jennie tick off the items on her shopping list one by one after adding them to her cart, Lisa realised that Jennie was really into ice cream. Milk-flavoured ice cream, if she were to be more specific. Somehow, even that small detail made Lisa feel like she was making steps forwards. It was the weird limbo where at times she felt like she knew the real Jennie behind those big walls around her, while at the same time she knew nothing. Late-night shopping turned out to be sweeter than expected, with Jennie tugging her sleeve to get her attention and looking up at her with her eyes full of warmth, and Lisa didn’t have any doubt left about what she really wanted.

Before leaving, Lisa also casually pushed Jennie into the beverages section and pointed at the bottles of chilled chocolate milk like a little child, with big imploring eyes. Jennie was only human, she could not resist Lisa’s request. She smiled and shook her head while reaching for the drink and placing it on the cart right next to her ice cream.

These little moments and interactions were turning gears in Lisa’s head. She knew that for her, Jennie was not a sister, and whatever she felt for her was not something you’d feel for a friend. Lisa had realised that the tiny (big) crush on her step-sister had existed for a lot longer than she would’ve liked to admit, but she never thought she’d be considering acting on her feelings. And since her dad and Jennie’s mum were never around, it was extremely easy to bury her concerns and never think of Jennie as a family member. Jennie was… just Jennie. Kind, beautiful, caring Jennie Kim. Yes, at the start they were like cat and dog. Jennie loved to tease her (and she still did), but since their argument she had started to become more understanding and considerate. She stopped bringing people home _completely._ As in, Lisa had never heard Jennie have sex in her room at all in the past weeks. It was a bit weird at first, she had gotten used to her noise-cancelling strategies. So when Jennie came back from a night out and went straight to sleep, Lisa was confused. She did not dare to question it. She learnt very well that Jennie’s sex life (or lack of it, for instance) was not for her to discuss. Jennie didn’t stop going to parties though, but before leaving she’d find Lisa to let her know at what time she’d be back. For some reason, Lisa felt reassured by her gesture. Jennie was acknowledging that there was someone waiting for her to come home.

Lisa found it hard to understand how Jennie felt towards her. She had said before that she was trying to be a ‘good step-sister’, but Lisa couldn’t help asking herself if that was all Jennie saw her as. The way she behaved could unarguably be seen as purely platonic, but there was something that told Lisa that there was more to it. The glint in her eyes, her soft words, the wide smiles. They all made Lisa feel special, and she could only hope that she was the only one to see all the hidden sides of Jennie. She may be cold and intimidating at first impression, but Lisa had seen enough to know she was anything but.

It felt a bit like an impossible mission. Lisa resolved to being a little more obvious about wanting more than just friendship, all to find a conclusion to all of her unanswered questions. Determining whether Jennie also had feelings for her was a task that made Lisa drown in anxiety. It could end well, and at the same time be disastrous.

On another note, Jennie’s birthday was approaching. And no, Lisa didn’t find out because Jennie told her. Instead, it was Jisoo that gave her that little piece of valuable information. Originally, Lisa made the phone call to push her friend to spill the beans and tell her about Rosé. Jisoo kept laughing and saying that nothing had happened, but Lisa could tell just from Jisoo’s excited tone that she was VERY interested. Which could only mean that she’d be hearing more about the pink-haired girl in the next conversations they’d have.

“By the way, did you plan anything for Jennie’s birthday?”

And that was when Lisa froze and proceeded to yell at her friend in a state of panic. Jennie and her never shared their birthdays, and Lisa could understand that Jennie probably didn’t want to bother her. Jisoo had a great time laughing at her friend in distress, but apparently Chaeyoung and other friends of Jennie were planning a party for her. Jennie’s birthday was three days after the phone call, and so Lisa had enough time to plan a little celebration of her own. She had been determined to make it up to the older girl for insulting her, and her birthday was the perfect occasion.

“Unnie, please don’t tell Chaeyoung that I know.”

“Uh, why?”

“Just trust me on this.”

Jisoo didn’t question her any further, but she certainly didn’t forget to tease her about wanting to do something _special_ for her step-sister. Lisa didn’t need to defend herself. She knew Jisoo was smart and figured out that there was something more to Lisa’s words, she didn’t really have to explain.

Contrary to Lisa’s first assumption, planning for a birthday was rather difficult. To begin with, choosing a present was nearly impossible. Lisa browsed online shopping sites for a whole day before giving up completely. Her aim was to get something significant, something that would tell Jennie loud and clear that Lisa very much was into her. But she also didn’t want to look like a hopeless romantic and make Jennie cringe. It was her birthday after all, not Valentine’s day. Lisa just wanted to get a gift that Jennie would actually like (and _maybe_ make her think of Lisa), but that was easier said than done. Secondly, she didn’t know how exactly to celebrate Jennie’s birthday privately. She couldn’t compete with the party Rosé was organising, and by the time Jennie returned from it she’d be exhausted. So whatever Lisa was going to plan, it had to be small and quiet in order to avoid making Jennie feel like a walking zombie.

On the day of the anticipated birthday, Lisa had come back from school and just about caught Jennie before she left. That morning (in which Lisa _almost_ let a loud ‘happy birthday’ slip before she remembered she was not supposed to know), Lisa told her that a friend was going to give her a lift that afternoon and not to worry about picking her up. In reality, she had actually skipped dance practice and gone to buy Jennie’s present instead. The older girl was unlocking her car door when Lisa fast-walked towards the driveway.

“You’re leaving?”

Jennie looked up hearing Lisa’s voice, and nodded. She seemed tired and disinterested, which Lisa found to be quite unusual for her special day.

“Up to anything interesting?” asked Lisa, even though she knew Jennie was not going to mention her birthday party.

“Not really, I shouldn’t be back too late. But don’t stay up for me please.”

(Lisa got into the bad habit of not sleeping until she heard Jennie go back into her room)

Lisa just smiled brightly and watched as Jennie got into the driver’s seat, waving from the window. The blonde stood outside and double checked that Jennie was gone before running inside and getting to work in kitchen. She had spent the day before looking at chocolate cake recipes so she could impress Jennie with her fantastic baking skills (Lisa had never baked in her whole damn life) and forget about the pasta flop. Hopefully.

As midnight was fast approaching, Lisa was pacing around the kitchen and fidgeting with her dirty apron. Jennie had texted her fifteen minutes before to tell her she’d be home soon. Except _nothing_ had gone according to plan, so Lisa was hoping, praying, begging that her improvised solution was not too terrible.

The front door opened and closed right after with a slam. Lisa swallowed hard. If Jennie was in a bad mood, she should be preparing for the absolute worst. But Jennie was not that heartless, right? She’d appreciate Lisa’s shitty surprise regardless (…right?).

“Lisa?” Jennie called out. Lisa was scared for a second. Why did Jennie sound so angry?

“I told you to not stay up for god’s sake—“

Jennie froze as she stepped into the kitchen, where Lisa had been patiently waiting.

The counter was an absolute mess, with flour and frosting covering great part of its surface. Except for one little clean spot. Lisa was standing behind it, picking up a cupcake with one single lit candle. She held it out towards Jennie with a sad smile.

“Happy birthday, Jennie.”

Jennie was almost scowling when she first entered, but her features softened immediately at the sight of Lisa awkwardly standing with flour on her hair and holding the tiny birthday-cupcake with shaking hands. She parted her lips but nothing came out.

“Actually, I tried to bake but… it didn’t go well,” Lisa laughed softly. “If you see a burnt blob in the bin then… it may have been me.”

Jennie still did not say a word, just stared intently. Lisa started to grow nervous.

“I ran to the corner shop and bought this as a replacement. The bakery was closed.” Lisa stared down at the cheap chocolate cupcake. “I know it’s not great, you probably had better today, but I just wanted to—you know, do something special.”

“It’s perfect,” Jennie blurted out suddenly.

But when Lisa glanced up and met the birthday girl’s eyes, she noticed that Jennie was tearing up. That was _not_ part of Lisa’s birthday plan in the slightest. She was not meant to make Jennie feel upset. So logically, Lisa panicked and hurried to fix whatever she had done wrong.

“Oh don’t cry please, I promise I’ll get you something better tomorrow. And the mess—I’ll clean it up, don’t worry.”

Jennie started to sob quietly, but also tried to wipe her tears away when she looked at Lisa’s concerned expression. “I said, it’s all perfect.”

When Lisa saw the hint of a smile from the brunette, she calmed down and placed the cupcake once again on the only free spot on the counter.

“I also…” she reached down and rummaged in the big pocket of her apron, “…got you a gift!”

Lisa pulled out a small black box with a pink ribbon, and held it out for the older girl. She was excited for Jennie to see it, she picked it out specifically thinking she would love it. She had money saved up from her summer part-time job and she gladly spent it to make Jennie’s birthday a (somewhat) happy memory with her.

Seeing the look of joy that graced Lisa, Jennie gave her a small teary-eyed smile and accepted the gift. For a moment, she just stared at it in wonder. It wasn’t a big fancy box, it was clear that Lisa was giving it right from her heart and soul. Small, yet detailed.

When she looked up, Lisa rubbed her arm awkwardly. “Maybe you want to blow out the candle first?”

Jennie just nodded, letting Lisa do anything she wanted. She felt so overwhelmed she didn’t know what to say. Lisa stepped closer to Jennie with the last-minute, multi-pack cupcake and held it right before her face.

“Don’t forget to make a wish!”

Hearing the blonde’s reminder, Jennie closed her eyes for a couple of seconds and tightened her grip on the gift she had just received. When she opened them again, she focused right onto Lisa’s doe eyes and blew out the little flame. Lisa put the cupcake back down on the counter and clapped excitedly.

“Now, the gift!”

Jennie went back to the box in her hands. She pulled one end of the ribbon slowly until the pink bow became loose and she could remove it. She pushed it back so it rested between her palm and the box. With her other hand, she finally took off the lid.

At first, Jennie let out a chuckle. She should have expected a gift that screamed Lisa Manoban. But soon after, she brought her hand up to her mouth to choke back a sob. The tears came flowing down right after, and Lisa gave her a look of worry with a hint of sadness.

“Do you not like it?”

When Jennie struggled to reply, Lisa took the chance to explain her gift choice.

“I didn’t know what to get you, but when we watched Toy Story together you said the green alien was your favourite character,” Lisa smiled, “you have the crazy slippers and all.”

Jennie wanted to laugh, but every time she just ended up sobbing and crying even more.

Inside the box, there was one single silver Pandora charm. And it was, of course, the alien from Toy Story. Instead of the usual silver bangle though, there was a black wax cord going through the hole of the charm. Jennie loved it even more.

“I didn’t have enough money to get the bracelet, so I had to improvise a bit. I hope you’ll still be able to wear it as a necklace.”

“Lisa,” Jennie finally managed to say, her voice a bit broken, “I love it.”

Although still in tears, Jennie gave Lisa a smile full of gratitude, that went beyond the beautiful gift. Lisa had truly touched her heart, and the blonde didn’t even realise how much the surprise meant to her. Without making Lisa wait any longer, Jennie turned around and pushed her hair to the side. She held out the necklace to Lisa, who had temporarily stopped functioning at the sight of Jennie’s bare nape.

“Put it on for me?”

Lisa didn’t have to be asked twice and immediately reached for the box. She pulled out the necklace and gently placed it around Jennie’s neck. She held both ends of the black cord and tied them into a tight knot.

“Done,” she whispered.

Jennie turned around and pushed her hair back. She looked down at the small yet precious charm now hanging very close to her cleavage.

“How does it look?”

“Beautiful,” Lisa mumbled, although she was looking straight at Jennie’s blushing face. When she noticed that she had been staring, Lisa snapped out of it and cleared her throat. “I mean—it looks great! Anything on you looks just… perfect.”

Jennie looked away in embarrassment and hid a shy grin. However, the happiness was soon overtaken by a sudden frown.

“Lisa… why are you being so nice to me?”

Lisa looked at the shorter girl in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Jennie unconsciously held the charm and pressed it against her chest. “I mean, I get that our parents want us to get along and be good sisters or whatever…”

“Jennie--”

“But really, I don’t need you to force yourself to care for me like this,” she gripped the charm tighter. “I know you’re a good person. You’re already doing enough.”

“Jennie,” Lisa whispered her name desperately. “I’m not your sister.”

Jennie’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Step-sister, I know.”

Lisa shook her head, her hands becoming sweaty from the nerves. “I mean… I don’t see you as a sister. I never will. For me, you… you just—“

“—I’m just what?”

“Jennie,” Lisa kept repeating Jennie’s name as if it was the only thing holding her together. “I think… I think I like you.”

As soon as Lisa confessed, Jennie tensed up and her eyes widened in shock. She let her arms fall to her sides and opened her mouth, but it seemed that words didn’t want to come out. Lisa gripped the ends of her apron waited for some kind of response. She knew it was extremely sudden for her to pour out her feelings like that, but she didn’t have the strength to wait any longer. She knew that her last outburst was a clear sign that Lisa was not holding herself together enough to control how she felt towards the older girl, and if she kept hiding the truth behind how she behaved around her, she knew that eventually there’d be another misunderstanding or serious argument. Jennie had the right to know that the girl she was living with had other intentions than just being a good friend or family member. Lisa’s eyes kept darting between the brunette in distress and the floor. It was obvious that for Jennie, things were not as simple as Lisa thought they’d be.

After a few seconds of complete silence, Jennie pressed her lips together and ran a hand through her messy brown hair.

“You- you _think_ you like me,” Jennie finally said, but she wasn’t really asking. She was making a statement that needed confirmation.

It didn’t take long for Lisa to realise her mistake (because _who the fuck_ says ‘I think’ in a confession?), and she was quick to correct herself. “No, no. I _know_ I like you. As in the romantic type of like. The _I want to kiss you_ type of like.”

The blonde blushed furiously at her own embarrassing explanation. She was making a fool out of herself, but she had never been in such a situation and _everything_ just seemed to be going wrong. She really didn’t know what she was saying, all she wanted was for Jennie to understand her feelings.

“Right.”

Lisa watched the older girl massaging her temple gently in concentration. Jennie was thinking hard about something, but from the blonde’s point of view it wasn’t that complicated. She wasn’t very optimistic about the rejection she felt was coming. It didn’t take a genius to see that Jennie was not going to accept her feelings. After seeing that Lisa was not going to say anything more, Jennie sighed and spoke without making eye contact.

“Our parents are married. I’m supposed to act like your older sister.”

“You and I both know that's not happening between us, I like having you here and being friendly but--- I can’t pretend that I don’t want more.”

“Maybe you just like me because we’ve been living together.”

“I can assure you that’s not the case. Why do you find it so hard to understand?”

“I’m understanding it perfectly, Lisa. I’m giving you reasons as to why this is not a good idea!”

Lisa took a step back in surprise, not expecting the outburst. She didn’t know if Jennie was trying to be intimidating, but suddenly Lisa felt her heart drop. It was all going downhill, and there was nothing that could be fixed.

“How is it bad to like you, Jennie?” She wasn’t sure when their conversation started becoming a fight, but Lisa was losing. “Why would I still be standing here getting humiliated if being with you was not what I truly wanted?” Lisa knew that she was starting to sound a bit harsh, but she just felt so frustrated. “Maybe living together allowed me to spend more time with you, but even when you’re not around I can’t stop myself from thinking about you. All the time.”

Jennie sounded even more exasperated and Lisa didn’t really know why she felt so panicked about the situation. Getting rejected was never nice, but Lisa was mature enough to take it and never speak of it again. She would not be too dramatic, nor press the matter any further if that bothered Jennie so much. Except her step-sister seemed to act like the roof fell on her, and Lisa had enough of it.

“Jennie, don’t stress,” Lisa mumbled at last. “If you don’t reciprocate, I won’t be annoying about it. Just say the word.”

Looking at Lisa’s defeated stare, Jennie bit her lip. Lisa was being very sweet, and Jennie was having a really hard time in deciding what move to make next to ensure the best outcome for the both of them. But to Lisa, there was not much to dwell on. It was either a yes or a no. But since Jennie was taking so long to say anything at all, Lisa went for the safe option of just dismissing the topic. The guilt started to creep in when she remembered it was Jennie’s birthday and she had just ruined her night.

“I’m sorry if I upset you with this.” Lisa reached to her lower back to untie the knot of her apron before taking it off. “I’ll stay here and clean up. Good night and— just… sorry again.”

The blonde turned around as if she had nothing else to say, but in reality she just couldn’t let Jennie see her teary eyes. Every time she tried to go with her gut, she messed everything up. She dropped the apron on the side of the sink and turned the tap on. Cold water began to pour into both of her hands before Lisa brought them up to her face and washed away the remains of the heated discussion. She didn’t hear Jennie make any movement behind her, so she knew the girl was still standing on the same spot.

“Go, please.” She had to press her eyes closed as she uttered her request. Lisa just wanted to be alone and not receive any look of pity from the girl that turned her down. After a few days they’ll be alright, she thought. Time healed all wounds, after all.

Jennie didn’t immediately leave. She stepped back towards the door, but she paused right before exiting the kitchen. Lisa gripped the edge of the sink tightly and looked straight down. She tried her best to even out her breathing, but Jennie’s eyes on her were not helping. When Jennie spoke up, Lisa just wanted to disappear completely.

“I’m not good for you, Lisa.”

\----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you didn't already know, the disney x pandora collection actually exists and it's the cutest thing ever. 
> 
> also, i can't stress enough how important comments are to keep me going with this fic - so if you have anything to say, please don't hold back


	6. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please notice the rating has changed to M.
> 
> also, i should have mentioned before that Lisa is eighteen in this fic, no one is underage.

Sleep was more of a curse than a blessing. Or at least, that specific night was not the most peaceful one for Lisa.

 _I’m not good for you._ The words kept replaying over and over. Lisa didn’t know what Jennie meant, but if that was the excuse she had gone for then there was nothing to question. It had been months since Jennie moved in, and Lisa had seen the brunette be a bit wild in terms of her lifestyle, but Lisa had accepted every part of her. She thought Jennie would have understood that. And yet, she didn’t accept her feelings because _she was not good._ What made a person _good_ in the first place? Lisa didn’t really have an answer, but even without thinking too much about it, she was more than certain that Jennie could not be classified as a _bad_ person. Jennie was good, in her own way. But for some reason the older girl did not believe she was, and if anything that was precisely what bothered Lisa the most among the events that played out in the past hours.

After confessing to her step-sister on her birthday and getting rejected, falling asleep and forgetting about it all was not really an option. At first, Lisa believed that she was emotionally strong enough to not be too affected by it, and to be more understanding of Jennie’s reasons. She thought that with some time to herself, she would have been able to move on and pretend nothing happened. That was how life worked, right…? _You get hurt, you get back up._

But knowing that Jennie was in the room right next to her, Lisa couldn’t stop wondering and questioning what was going on inside Jennie’s pretty little head. She knew that although she didn’t react well to what Lisa had told her, there was another kind of sadness in her eyes. Not pity, more like… longing, or some sort guilt. Of course Lisa would never be mad nor avoid the older girl over a failed attempt at a possible relationship, but she felt the need to be away from her to prevent her one-sided crush from growing even stronger. Since they literally lived in the same house, she was aware that they were eventually going to have to talk again, and probably before Lisa was ready to do so. She could already sense the awkwardness without even being in the same room.

Right after Jennie had gone up and left her frozen in the kitchen a couple of hours before, Lisa had taken a wet cloth and started to wipe the counter clean to distract herself. She didn’t really succeed though as all she could focus on were the noises coming from the floor above, indicating that Jennie had showered briefly and gone into her bedroom. Lisa had also finished washing up soon after, and even though she had the sudden urge to leave the house and stay over at Jisoo’s, she knew that it would have been a rash and immature decision. After all, the ultimate fault for their current situation was hers. She shouldn’t have given into her feelings, she should have waited for some sort of sign like any other normal person with a crush would do. But as Lisa stood alone in the kitchen where her and Jennie celebrated so happily, Lisa had to rethink her initial assumption that Jennie was also trying to get close to her in the hope for something more. The recent changes in her behaviour meant nothing apparently. But one thing was clear: Jennie was definitely _not_ indifferent to Lisa, or if she was, then Lisa had to compliment her acting.

Now that she was in her bed and had the time to go over the events that occurred in the evening, Lisa started to feel guilty. The thought of Jennie being uncomfortable and avoiding her all over again was tormenting her. She really had no chance of getting any sleep that night. Lisa turned and turned around, not finding peace in any position. Her phone was charging on the other side of the room, and even though she was fully awake, she didn’t have the energy to leave the warmth of her blanket.

Usually, silence was considered very precious. The only chance of getting a break from the world. But to Lisa, the silence that surrounded her was pure torture. It made the millions of thoughts inside her head sound a hundred times louder, and there was nothing to distract her, nothing to interrupt her continuous thinking. As if to make the situation even worse, whenever Lisa glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand, she would groan in frustration at the slow flow of time. It had not even been one full hour since she had first gotten into bed. Turning on her side, she stared at the wall separating her from Jennie’s room. Judging by the lack of any noise, it was probable that she was already fast asleep, and not lying awake staring at nowhere in particular like Lisa.

Sleep wouldn’t come easy, but Lisa had to try and stop overthinking. She just needed to close her eyes, take a deep breath, and wait for morning to come.

\---

_Steps._

The sound wasn’t too loud, but it was enough for Lisa to snap out of her half-asleep, half-awake state. The blonde stirred in her sheets and blinked a few times. She was surrounded by darkness, indicating that it was still too early for anyone to be awake.

And again, the sound of a door opening resonated through Lisa’s bedroom walls. Lisa was facing away from the entrance of her room, yet she heard the noises coming from the corridor loud and clear. The thought of a burglar roaming around her house crossed her mind for a split second, and although she was not really fond of facing a thief, she could put up a fight if she wanted to. But the house had a good security system, if someone had trespassed, she would have been alerted of it.

Suddenly, Lisa’s door was pushed open. She had a feeling that she recognised the barefoot steps, but it wasn’t until she felt the mattress dip and a pair of arms sneak around her waist that she got her confirmation. Lisa was now fully awake, and very aware of Jennie’s warm body pressing against her back. The two had sort of cuddled before, on the couch mainly. Lisa liked skinship, she was naturally affectionate with the people she was close to. And Jennie just didn’t mind it. But this? They had never lied on the same bed together, and certainly never done anything so intimate. She could feel Jennie’s breathing against her nape, and almost the touch of her lips if she was not hallucinating.

“…Jennie?” Lisa whispered unsure, not believing anything was real. The only explanation Lisa could come up with was that it was a dream. A very wild one.

But just as soon as she talked herself out of it, Jennie started leaving soft kisses along her neck, and Lisa felt chills run down her spine. It felt a bit too real to be just a mere dream. She had imagined the feel of Jennie’s lips many times before, she was not afraid of admitting it anymore, but nothing could compare to Jennie herself. Not waiting another second to pass, Lisa turned around to finally take a look at her bed-invader. It was too dark to see clearly, but she could just about make out the outline of her step-sister lying right next to her. However, the movement only eased Jennie’s path, allowing her to drape one leg across Lisa’s waist and continue to kiss down her neck and around her collarbone. Lisa was having a hard time keeping her mind clear, but Jennie just felt like absolute heaven. Her skin was almost burning, and if the lights were on she was sure that her face would have been completely red. Following her primal instincts, Lisa lifted her chin up and closed her eyes, drowning in the pleasant feelings of Jennie’s kissing and occasional biting.

“Jennie,” Lisa gasped as Jennie’s lips finally found their way across her jaw.

“Shhh,” Jennie hissed, still not having looked into Lisa’s eyes.

Lisa brought her hands up and placed them on Jennie’s waist. The girl was practically straddling her, and Lisa didn’t think there was any other position she’d rather be. But as much as she was enjoying having Jennie all over her, she was still extremely confused at the sudden change in Jennie’s behaviour. One moment she was telling Lisa that liking her was a bad idea, and the next she was on top of her and kissing every inch of her skin.

So, with the last drop of willpower that Lisa had left in her, she found Jennie’s shoulders and managed to create the slightest gap between them. Lisa was breathing as if she had just run a marathon, but as she looked up she was taken aback by Jennie’s moonlit gaze. She didn’t know how to describe it, but the warmth her eyes usually radiated was gone. Her gaze was somehow darker, lacking any kindness, and she clearly was annoyed at the interruption.

“What?”

Lisa bit her lip, knowing that Jennie was just as turned on as she felt. Except there was nothing new to the way Lisa felt, she had just never imagined to see the same reaction from Jennie. But it just didn’t feel normal.

“Why are you doing this?”

“You don’t want me anymore?” Jennie finally pulled away and remained seated with her legs on either side on Lisa’s waist, her untidy appearance making her even more beautiful to the blonde’s mesmerised orbs.

“Of course I do!” Lisa almost cringed at how desperate she had sounded. But could you really blame her, when Jennie was looking down at her with pure desire in her sexy eyes?

She propped herself up, leaning on her elbows just to get even closer to Jennie. “But… you said no before.”

Jennie just nodded. Her face was almost emotionless, but Lisa could see through her act. She was troubled, something was definitely making her agitated inside. Lisa just couldn’t figure out what it was.

“And now? You changed you mind?”

Lisa was only met with an intense stare. Jennie leaned back down, looking right into Lisa’s doe eyes and hovering just above her lips.

“Not quite.”

The nerves came right back and Lisa was struggling to keep her undisturbed façade. It was late night, her mind fogged by arousal and a hot girl just inches away from her. Almost too much like a fantasy.

“Then?” she finally whispered, not knowing how long until she would lose all control of herself. It’d be easy. Just a little closer, and their lips would meet.

Jennie tentatively pushed her hands below Lisa’s shirt, letting her fingers caress bare skin. She leaned further down, just enough to utter her next few words right next to Lisa’s ear. “I think we’ve played around for too long.”

“Huh?”

“You want to fuck me. I want to fuck you. Why waste time?”

The younger girl whimpered involuntarily, not too loud, but loud enough for Jennie to hear. The change was too drastic, Lisa didn’t know what sort of desire had sparked in Jennie within the span of a few hours. She had no filter, reminding Lisa of how the older girl used to act in the first few weeks. She couldn’t deny the fact that she had wondered multiple times about having sex with Jennie, and although the brunette could seduce anyone in a matter of minutes, she had never made that sort of move on Lisa. Not explicitly, at least.

Truthfully, having Jennie so damn close only made Lisa want her more. Keeping her thoughts reasonable was a lot harder when she felt like she was in a forest fire. Jennie’s eyes were cold, but her touch definitely wasn’t.

“But that’s not— I mean… yeah, but you don’t—“

“I _do_ , that’s the whole point.”

It wouldn’t hurt, Lisa thought. She had suffered enough from her one-sided attraction, and now that Jennie was also interested, it only made sense to let go. They deserved it. Maybe she couldn’t get Jennie fully, but she offering one part of herself. It wouldn’t be selfish if Lisa accepted.

_Just this once._

The heat between her thighs couldn’t be ignored anymore, and so Lisa gave up on her fight completely. She turned her head, not wanting to drag it out any longer. Jennie’s nose was touching the tip of hers, and her lips formed an all too familiar smirk. Lisa didn’t hesitate to immerse her hands in Jennie’s long hair and crash their lips together.

Kissing Jennie was… everything. Lisa had never wanted anything more from life. Jennie was soft, rough, gentle, and fierce all at once. Her lips were dominating the kiss, her hands already trailing down Lisa’s abdomen and into the waistband of her sweatpants. The feel Jennie’s fingers hit her right to the core, and Lisa could not hold back her embarrassingly loud moans. It was enough for Jennie’s tongue to push past her lips and taste every part of Lisa’s mouth.

Lisa was gladly accepting Jennie’s eagerness, and the thought of stopping never reached her mind. All she could focus on was Jennie.

_Jennie, Jennie, Jennie._

Every now and then Lisa would feel the need to call out her name. It came out naturally, without Lisa even being aware of how many times she had repeated it.

But Jennie?

Jennie did not hesitate. Her full lips never left Lisa’s skin, whether it was her lips while she was kissing her desperately or her jaw and neck when she was catching her breath. Jennie’s hands were smaller than hers, but Lisa felt every single touch. There was no doubt that the girl was experienced. She was teasing Lisa’s breasts underneath her shirt while she began to grind down against Lisa’s thighs: a clear sign that she did not have time to take things slow. Lisa didn’t really mind. If anything, it was only turning her on even more.

When Lisa realised that Jennie’s hips increased their pace and her covered centre rubbed against her harder and harder, her hands left Jennie’s waist and slipped between their bodies, tugging her own sweatpants down in the messiest way possible and kicking them off the bed once they reached her ankles. At the same time, Jennie lifted herself up slightly and pushed Lisa’s shirt up and above her chest, admiring the younger girl’s abdomen and naked breasts for the first time.

“You’re beautiful,” she whispered then, but Lisa sensed that her words came out without Jennie wanting them to. She knew that although the brunette was panting on top of her and looking down at her as if she was about to devour her any minute, Jennie was still holding back. Lisa wasn’t sure about what exactly she was trying to be cautious of when they had clearly crossed plenty of lines.

Regardless of the overthinking, Lisa blushed at the compliment. It wasn’t that she was insecure, but it wasn’t often that Jennie demonstrated to be physically attracted to her. She didn’t get the time to reply, however. Jennie’s hot mouth was on hers right after, and Lisa thought getting addicted to Jennie’s kisses was going to be far too easy.

Lisa was too distracted with Jennie’s tongue to notice that gentle fingers had left her breasts and were now tracing patterns just above her underwear. When reality hit her, Lisa pulled away from Jennie’s lips and pressed her head on the pillow below, her eyes hardly focusing. Jennie’s hand froze at the sudden reaction, and even though she had been behaving unusually cold and detached since she entered Lisa’s room, in that moment her act started to falter.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

Lisa bit her bottom lip and shook her head. Jennie made her feel many ways, but uncomfortable wasn’t one of them. “No.”

“I can stop right now.”

Shaking her head once again, Lisa cupped Jennie’s concerned face and brought her close enough to whisper against her parted lips. “It’s nothing to worry about, keep going.”

And so Jennie did.

Her fingers started dipping past the waistband of Lisa’s underwear, touching trimmed hair down below before finally reaching Lisa’s entrance.

Lisa’s arms were resting down her sides, and when she felt Jennie’s touch where she most needed it, she took a sharp intake of breath and gripped the bed sheets tightly, just wanting something to hold on to. Jennie could feel Lisa’s tension, or at least she seemed to have gone a little softer. Her kisses were more tender, still hesitant, but gentle nonetheless. Lisa was hyperaware of Jennie’s movement around her sensitive core. She had not even touched her properly yet, but Lisa was already at the edge.

Moving away from Lisa’s panting mouth, Jennie observed how the blonde kept her eyes pressed together. She could feel how ready Lisa was, so wet for her with as little as a few touches, but still trembling with every stroke. With her index and middle finger, she collected some of Lisa’s arousal and spread it slightly above, where Lisa was most sensitive.

“Jennie.” Lisa gasped at the burning sensation between her legs, her clit throbbing for attention. “Please.”

Maybe it sounded like she was blatantly begging, but Lisa didn’t care if she seemed desperate. Jennie was accommodating every request she heard, going back down and easily pushing two fingers inside.

Lisa arched her back off the bed and choked back what felt like a scream. She had touched herself countless times, but nothing compared to the feeling of having Jennie thrust inside her at a steady pace, reaching all the right places and providing the right pressure. Her palm was also pressing down on her clit, stimulating it with every movement of her hand.

“Fuck,” no other words seemed to be able to describe how good Lisa felt. “Oh god.”

Jennie had shifted downwards, enclosing her mouth around Lisa’s erected nipple while her free hand was palming her other breast. Lisa’s mouth dropped open as she groaned, embarrassingly close to her orgasm in no time. It wasn’t surprising that Jennie was an expert in sex, Lisa had witnessed it for weeks. But being the one on the receiving end? That was mind-blowing. No pleasure in this world could ever compare to the feeling of being fucked by Jennie Kim.

Leaving the sheets, Lisa’s hands automatically found Jennie’s head, keeping her in place as she continued to leave open-mouthed kissed around her breasts. Her strokes grew smoother and bolder, and Lisa was losing it.

“Jennie, I can’t--”

Jennie pressed her palm down on her clit in circular motions while her lips made their way up to Lisa’s neck. The build-up was too intense, Jennie’s mouth too hot, her fingers were filling her completely, and Lisa could only let go.

“Fuck, fuck, oh—“

Jennie was quick to cover her mouth and kiss her hard as Lisa’s whimpers and moans persisted. She could feel her walls clenching around her fingers as Lisa rode out her orgasm, and Jennie had no intention of pulling out until she was covered in every last drop of Lisa’s arousal.

When Lisa had finally come down from her high, she opened her eyes and looked up at Jennie. Her hand had left Lisa’s underwear, her fingers now completely glistening with Lisa’s wetness. But what shocked Lisa the most were the dark pupils that were staring down at her. Jennie was completely overtaken by lust, and Lisa almost didn’t recognise her. _This is who she is_ , Lisa thought. Jennie always managed to get what she wanted, and for the first time Lisa felt like she was her only target.

Jennie wanted her, and Lisa liked it.

However, she didn’t get the time to touch Jennie in the same was she had been pleasured.

Without waiting any second longer, Jennie returned to her original straddling position and started to grind hard against Lisa’s body. The look in her eyes was new, she was completely gone. Her movements were rough and rushed, and Lisa almost came once again. Jennie was still fully clothed, but her shorts were thin enough to let Lisa feel Jennie’s own wet sex. She had never imagined that she could ever make Jennie lose all sense of self-control. Her hips moved unrestrained, and Jennie had to grip Lisa’s shoulders with both hands as she closed her eyes and let out small, continuous moans.

Lisa wanted to do more. Touch her. Feel her. Taste her.

But as she watched Jennie desperately chase her release, she could only hold her breath and stare in awe at the brunette on top of her, in all of her dishevelled glory.

When she felt Jennie pressing down harder with spread legs, creating more friction against her sensitive clit and digging her fingernails on Lisa’s covered shoulder, the younger girl sneaked her hand down their bodies and reached the wet spot between Jennie’s thighs. Jennie let out a surprised gasp and adjusted her position so she could rub against Lisa’s awaiting palm.

It wasn’t long before Jennie’s lips parted and let out the most beautiful sound. Jennie came hard and fast, and her hips kept rolling until she felt overstimulated. When she was fully satisfied, she crashed down onto her side and rested her forehead against Lisa’s temple. The Korean girl was catching her breath, her eyes peacefully closed.

And Lisa?

Lisa had come again. She wasn’t sure if it was from just watching Jennie reach her orgasm or feeling her on her hand through her shorts, but it was more than enough for her to come all over again.

Unlike Jennie, Lisa couldn’t stop staring at the ceiling with wide eyes. Jennie was most likely used to the post-sex ritual. Her breathing had evened out, and she let herself fall into peaceful slumber rather quickly. But for Lisa, it just wasn’t the same.

Jennie didn’t know. Or better, Jennie couldn’t have known because Lisa didn’t really want to tell her.

She had known for quite a while that Jennie was a very sexual being, and it was obvious that the girl needed that form of pleasure regularly. But for Lisa, Jennie was the first person that had touched her like that. She had never slept with anyone before, never shared a bed with a lover. Earlier, she didn’t want to tell Jennie why she was hesitating and interrupt their moment, she knew that Jennie would have left as soon as she uttered the word ‘virgin’. And if she was being fully honest, Lisa didn’t regret it one bit. She didn’t want to be treated like glass, she wasn’t a fragile little girl that was afraid of having sex. In hindsight, her first time was explosive, and she loved every second of it.

But somehow, it still didn’t feel right.

Angry, frustrated, sad… Lisa didn’t know what to call it. She never expected to see the sensual Jennie that everyone fell for, but she didn’t want to feel like yet another person that was pushed aside and never seen again. They lived together, Jennie couldn’t run away, but it didn’t stop Lisa from worrying about what would happen next. Sleeping with her once with no commitment would have been easy, but Lisa confessed for a reason. She really wanted to be with Jennie, although the older girl probably didn’t understand that. She did her usual thing, as if Lisa never showed any further interest beyond physical attraction. Maybe Lisa didn’t even have a right to complain. After all, she let it happen. She wanted it just as much. But if she was to be fully honest, she wasn’t really ready for the consequences.

She knew that her relationship with Jennie had become far too complicated, they weren’t together and Jennie didn’t exactly want to pursue a romantic relationship with her, but as she glanced at Jennie’s calm state while she slept soundly on her shoulder, Lisa really didn’t want her to leave. 

\----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter might feel a bit sudden, but i promise i had planned for it to happen from the start. 
> 
> you guys have been super sweet in the last chapter, i enjoyed reading every single comment. thank you all ❤️
> 
> lastly, please take care of yourselves and be safe.


	7. seven

Lisa had never imagined that she’d be involved in a _casual sex arrangement_. Just the mere thought of it made her blush. She always believed that if she was ever going to sleep with someone, it was going to be with a long-term girlfriend. Well, not exactly. Lisa just wanted to do it with someone she felt comfortable with (and in theory, Jennie did fit those requirements). And based on the stories her friends used to tell her about how their first time went, Lisa was more than certain that her experience was definitely above average. Jennie didn’t know Lisa’s status as a virgin at the time, so she didn’t get to hold back.

However, although sex with Jennie was more than satisfactory, Lisa just wished that the girl would stop running away from her.

The morning after Jennie had fucked her senseless, Lisa woke up alone. Jennie had left home early, and Lisa didn’t know where she had gone off to. She didn’t leave a note. She didn’t send a text. Jennie didn’t feel the need to share any information about her whereabouts, and even if it hurt, Lisa didn’t push her to say anything. By the time she came back, Lisa didn’t even get to question her before Jennie had her pressed up against a wall with her hand down her pants.

And again, Jennie didn’t stay to talk. She wasn’t necessarily avoiding Lisa per se, she was mainly avoiding talking about anything related to their occasional fucking.

On her birthday, Lisa had watched Jennie being emotional. Watched her cry, smile, laugh. But after Lisa messed it up for the both of them, Jennie had gone back to hiding behind a stoic façade. She was still kind to Lisa and spoke to her every once in a while, but the connection they had built throughout the months somehow vanished in the blink of an eye. There were no more movie nights nor midnight grocery shopping. Instead, Jennie just sneaked into her bed whenever she felt like it. She always stayed long enough for Lisa to fall asleep next to her, but never enough to let Lisa see her in the mornings. It was simple, not waking up together meant no need to speak of the night before.

It just wasn’t fair. Lisa didn’t want to pretend that having a sexual relationship was enough, nothing had changed about what she felt for Jennie. They were as intimate as they could get between the sheets, but during the day they couldn’t even hold a proper conversation without Jennie making excuses and walking away.

Lisa would have lost all sense of stability in her life if it wasn’t for one particular detail. That being, Jennie never separated herself from the necklace Lisa had given her as a present. She never left the house without it. Occasionally, even when she was fully naked in Lisa’s bed, the necklace was the only thing she would leave on. Mostly, Jennie tried to hide the charm below her shirt, but Lisa could always spot the black cord peeking above her collar. So no matter how many times Jennie made it seem like she didn’t care anymore, Lisa knew that she still did. And even if the hope Lisa had left for them to become close again grew smaller each day, she still held onto it for dear life.

\---

Jisoo lived in a flat she shared with two other girls. Her family didn’t live in the city, so she had moved out when she started university. Lisa had only visited her a couple of times, but she remembered how to get there when she needed to talk to her friend with urgency. She wasn’t in the mood to cycle, so she opted for the train. It was just a twenty minutes ride, so it didn’t take long for Lisa to reach Jisoo’s apartment. She had messaged her before leaving the house, just as a heads up in case Jisoo had any plans that she needed to let her know of. But since she didn’t receive a reply, Lisa assumed that she was asleep like always and resting on her day off.

When she finally reached the main entrance, Lisa knocked on the door and waited for someone to open. She heard footsteps right after, but when the door swung open it wasn’t Jisoo that greeted her.

“Oh! Hello, Lisa.”

Lisa bowed slightly and smiled in return. “Hi Eunbi unnie. Sorry for the intrusion.”

“Oh please, it’s always good to see you.” The shorter girl opened the door fully and allowed Lisa to step in. Lisa thanked her and walked into the apartment, taking off her shoes before entering the living room.

Eunbi was also a student attending Jisoo’s same university, and one of her flatmates. Lisa didn’t know her very well, but whenever she came around Eunbi was always polite and offered her food, which automatically won Lisa over. She was a natural mother figure to anyone that knew her, and Lisa liked her as a person. Jisoo chose her friends wisely.

“Is Jisoo in her room?” Lisa asked, seeing that Eunbi was getting ready to leave.

“Yeah, but I think she has a friend over today.”

Lisa nodded. “It’s okay, I’ll let her know I’m here.”

Eunbi smiled as she approached the door. “That’s alright. Feel free to use the TV if Jisoo takes too long, and there’s left over pizza in the fridge if you’re hungry!”

Lisa couldn’t help but laugh at the girl’s caring nature. She waved as Eunbi left, and without wasting any more time she walked up to where she knew Jisoo’s bedroom was located.

With her shoes off, her steps were barely audible. As she came closer and closer to Jisoo’s room, Lisa was perplexed by the sound of laughter that came from the slightly open door. She paused in front of it, listening to muffled sounds of two people talking. Bringing her hand up in a fist, Lisa knocked softly and pushed the door open to reveal Jisoo lying down on her bed with her back against the headboard, and a very familiar girl lying right next to her. When Lisa first saw them, their heads were leaning close as the both watched something on Jisoo’s laptop. But when they heard Lisa coming in, Jisoo glanced towards her direction and immediately sat straight up, almost as she had been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to.

Lisa giggled at the flustered duo.

“Hi Jisoo,” she greeted. “And hello, Chaeyoung.”

Chaeyoung blushed lightly and smiled in return while Jisoo laughed nervously. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming.”

Lisa rested against the doorframe and crossed her arms. “I messaged you, actually.”

Jisoo glanced at her phone charging on the nightstand and frowned. “Oh yeah, you did.”

Beside her, Chaeyoung sat up and fixed her shirt, which had risen up due to her previous position. She rubbed her arm at the unexpected situation. “I should probably go.”

Noticing the pink-haired girl’s discomfort, Lisa was quick to shake her head and held her hand out to stop her. “Oh don’t worry, I’ll drop by another time.”

Chaeyoung was already up and grabbing her coat by the time Lisa finished her sentence, and smiled reassuringly. “Actually, I was supposed to leave like, half an hour ago. It’s fine, really.”

“Please, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Lisa insisted, feeling guilty about cutting short Jisoo and Chaeyoung’s time together. Her friend had been trying really hard to convince Chaeyoung to give her a chance and Lisa didn’t want to stand in the way of her plans.

“Lisa shut up and stay!” Jisoo called out humorously, and Lisa knew Jisoo’s word was final.

Chaeyoung straightened the creases on her coat and approached Jisoo’s side of the bed. She hesitated for a second, but soon got rid of her doubts and bent down to leave a small kiss on the seated girl’s cheek. “Bye, Jisoo.”

Lisa couldn’t see her friend’s reaction due to Chaeyoung’s tall figure, but she smirked knowing well that Jisoo was probably red as a tomato.

Chaeyoung walked over to Lisa, who stepped aside to clear the entrance. “It was nice to see you again, Lisa.”

“Likewise, Chaeng.”

Lisa was looking at the girl walk away, but when she turned to face her friend, she was hit hard by a pillow.

“What the hell man!”

“That’s what you get for your lovely surprise visit.”

Lisa picked up the pillow that just fell at her feet and threw it right back, but Jisoo smoothly dodged it. Lisa laughed and approached the grumpy girl. She dropped herself next to her, claiming the spot that Chaeyoung had occupied just moments ago. She looked over to the laptop screen and snorted. “Aladdin? Seriously?”

Jisoo shut the laptop close immediately and pushed it to the side, slapping Lisa’s shoulder playfully. “Shut up!”

Lisa didn’t annoy her older friend any further, understanding that Jisoo and Chaeyoung had both a passion for Disney’s filmography and so it was a good strategy to share their common interests. Lisa often thought that they’d be the perfect match. Jisoo’s bright personality fit really well with Chaeyoung’s calm and soft aura. It wasn’t the first time they had a conversation about Jisoo’s newfound attraction to the tall Australian girl, and every time the older girl seemed to be more and more into her.

“So, had a nice date?” Lisa questioned, wanting to know if Jisoo’s attempts at flirting were being successful.

Jisoo shrugged. “It wasn’t an actual date. We just watched a film and spoke about anything.”

“So a date. Is she interested?”

“I’d like to think so,” Jisoo mumbled. “But I’m taking it slow, just gotta wait and see what happens with her and… you know.”

Lisa pressed her lips together and nodded. She told Jisoo that Chaeyoung and Jennie had something going on, but somehow Jisoo already knew and still gave it a shot. She was not the type to give up on what she wanted, and Lisa truly admired her for that.

“She’s a great girl.”

“I know, and one day she’ll be my girlfriend,” she stated confidently. Although Jisoo made it sound like a joke, Lisa knew her intentions were serious.

“But enough of my life, what’s up with you?”

Lisa moved closer to Jisoo and hugged her arm, leaning her head gently on her shoulder. “Why? Can’t I just come to check up on my dearest friend?”

“Ha ha. Very funny. You only come to me when you need help.”

“Ouch, your words wound me deeply.”

“Seriously though, what’s going on?”

The blonde sighed dramatically and pouted. “I don’t actually know.”

“You insulted Jennie again?” Jisoo laughed.

“No!” Lisa glared and sat up on the bed. “But… something else happened.”

Jisoo only gave her a blank stare, waiting for Lisa to explain.

“Well— in a few words, I might have… you know, just maybe, I may have—“

“—just say it!”

Lisa’s cheeks flushed as she looked down at her lap, playing with the hem of her shirt. “We might have slept together.”

The words were said so quickly that Jisoo almost missed them. _Almost_. She jumped up and sat with her legs crossed right in front Lisa, staring at her with wide eyes.

“You have what?” she exclaimed, almost shouting.

Lisa winced at the loud reaction, but preferred not to reiterate. Saying it once was bad enough.

“Tell me you’re kidding Lisa,” Jisoo continued, still in a state of utter shock.

The blonde could only shake her head, her shoulders dropping. She wasn’t ashamed, more like inexperienced. She never had these talks with anyone, never had a sexual life to speak of in the first place.

Seeing Lisa’s serious expression, Jisoo leaned back on the bed once again and rubbed her temples. “Wow. Okay. Damn.”

The look of disbelief was enough to make Lisa shift uncomfortably in her spot. Jisoo didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and Lisa grew more and more anxious.

“I didn’t think you’d react like this… I thought you already figured out how I felt for her.”

“Look,” Jisoo sighed, “anyone with eyes could see that you were basically drooling for Jennie. But there’s a huge difference between a simple crush with no future and genuine feelings that have consequences.”

“It just… happened.”

“Lisa, love, sleeping with your step-sister is not something that _just happens,_ ” Jisoo explained.

“I didn’t want it to go like this!” Lisa insisted, and seeing that Jisoo was not going to interrupt, she continued. “I just wanted to tell her that I liked her. I kept getting these… _signs_ , and I just assumed that it was a green light. So I just did it. On her birthday… I told her.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“And I presume it went well for you guys to just… fornicate.”

“Not really,” Lisa laughed lightly, “and please never use the word _fornicate_ ever again.”

“Sorry, I just can’t believe that the baby Lisa I used to teach Korean to is now talking to me about having sex.”

Thinking about it, Lisa had to agree. It was a bit weird.

“So… she said no to you?”

“She said she’s not good for me.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“I don’t know,” Lisa shrugged, “that’s just what she said.”

“And then you slept with her?” The more Jisoo questioned her, the more Lisa felt herself blush.

“Well, she initiated it I guess, but then never spoke about it. And even now, this keep happening again and again.”

“But you’re not together.”

At last, Lisa sighed in defeat. “No.”

Jisoo was more and more dumbfounded with each answer Lisa gave, never imagining that her ex-student could get herself in such a complicated situation. But seeing Lisa’s sad smile and dull eyes, Jisoo reached over and patted the girl’s knee softly, a way to reassure her.

“Okay Lisa-ya, let’s slow down. Why don’t you tell me the whole story?”

And Lisa didn’t have any other choice but to blurt out everything that had happened. From Jennie being obnoxiously loud and annoying as soon as she moved in, to their sweet moments spent together. She also mentioned the subtle changes in Jennie’s attitude when it came to taking care of Lisa, the times when she was kind and caring without any obvious reason. Lisa never explicitly mentioned falling for Jennie throughout her recollection of events, but Jisoo didn’t need to hear it. She could see it from the way Lisa spoke about every detail surrounding her step-sister with a huge smile on her face and warmth in her eyes. But all the excitement vanished gradually as she started explaining their recent interactions.

“So correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re telling me that she doesn’t want to _be_ with you, she just wants to _have sex_ with you.”

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I like being with her intimately, she’s really good to me but… it’s not enough. I just don’t know if that’s also what Jennie wants.”

“Well, I have no damn clue about that either, but…” Jisoo gave Lisa a comforting smile and brought her hand up to pat the top of the blonde’s hair. “I think you should stay away from her. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“She’s not hurting me.” Lisa’s weak protest did not even convince herself.

“Oh no? Since she likes you enough to fuck you goodnight, she could at least have the decency to tell you that loud and clear.”

Even if she was trying to maintain a controlled attitude, Jisoo was beyond annoyed, Lisa could tell that much. She had relied on her friend countless times for advice, and this was one of the rare times where she sounded truly concerned about Lisa going against her. Lisa knew Jisoo was right in being worried, but the blonde simply wanted to prove that her decision to pursue Jennie had not been made without foundation.

“I know she sounds like the bad guy, but I promise she’s not just messing around. I can sense that there’s more to it, she’s just holding back.”

“She’s playing with your feelings. You have been clear on what you want from her, now it’s her turn to make a move. If she’s looking for a good time, she can easily find a friend with benefits without the friend part.”

“It’s not that simple. The day I told her I liked her… you should have seen the look in her eyes. And she never explicitly said she didn’t feel the same way.”

“I’m pretty sure she must be _very_ into you if she slept with you right after rejecting you,” Jisoo scoffed. “And what kind of manipulative bitch takes advantage of someone as innocent as you?”

As an older and more experienced friend, Jisoo wanted to make sure Lisa opened her eyes fully. She never approved of people that couldn’t commit. And although Lisa was glad that her friend cared so much about her, she still didn’t like the idea of Jennie being portrayed as evil and heartless.

“But she’s not bad, Jisoo. She never did anything I didn’t approve of, she always makes sure I’m comfortable.” Lisa’s voice cracked, at last showing just how worked up she had gotten over her failed attempts to defend Jennie. “She’s not a bad person.”

Jisoo grabbed a tissue from her nightstand and wiped the few tears that started to roll down Lisa’s cheeks. “I never said she was. I just think you deserve to be with someone that makes you happy, and right now I don’t think Jennie is good for you.”

Lisa didn’t know what else to say, too overwhelmed by the pressure that had built up from Jennie’s birthday onwards. She wanted to believe that their situation was temporary, wanted to remember all the sweet moments they had together to give her some sort of reassurance. Something to tell her that she was not chasing aimlessly, that there was a chance that Jennie reciprocated her feelings. But the days were passing by, and neither girl was making steps forward.

“What’s your plan then? Just wait and hope for the best?”

Lisa really wished she had a different plan.

\---

Talking to Jisoo didn’t really fix her problems, but it was always nice to share her worries. It almost felt like the weight on her shoulders had been halved. Jisoo didn’t need to straight up tell her that she hated Jennie’s guts, but Lisa got the message very clear. In some way, Lisa couldn’t blame her protective friend. But it was her life, she knew when to take risks and when to back off.

Lisa had returned home after spending a little over two hours at Jisoo’s. Instead of going over painful topics over and over again, they had opted to play some games and go back to their usual fun discussions for the rest of the evening. Now that she was home again, Lisa didn’t really have the energy to face Jennie. She knew that all she needed was one glance and she’d be under her spell without putting up any fight.

When she unlocked the front door, all the lights were off and she didn’t hear any noise indicating that Jennie was home. Lisa felt a bit guilty when she let out a sigh of relief. Since they started sleeping together, being around Jennie felt like walking on eggshells. One moment she was cold, and the next she had her tongue down Lisa’s throat. Lisa just wanted to stop receiving mixed signals, but with Jennie everything was so unpredictable.

After contemplating her options with having the house to herself, Lisa opted for a long night shower. She wanted to relax and let her thoughts settle down before heading to bed, and a hot shower seemed to be the best choice she had.

Except her night did not finish as peacefully as she planned.

Just having come out of the bathroom, Lisa walked barefoot to her room with a white towel to cover her naked form. She carelessly entered her room, not bothering to close the door fully in favour of holding the towel in place.

Lisa was joyfully humming, her mood having improved greatly just from feeling fresh. The night wasn’t too hot, just chilly enough to guarantee a cosy sleep snuggled in blankets. Lisa walked over to her dresser, pulling a drawer open. She pushed her semi-damp hair over her shoulder, and bent down to rummage through her undergarments.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Lisa jumped up and held her hand over her heart as she turned to the doorway, shaken by the sudden appearance. She didn’t even realise that Jennie was home when she finished her shower, essentially making her freeze completely at the sight of the older girl.

Jennie was hardly standing upright, her legs a little wobbly as she stepped closer and closer. Once Lisa got a good look at her, she noticed that her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were not focusing properly.

“Are you drunk?”

Jennie shook her head rigorously and chuckled. “Me? No, never drunk. Just tipsy, you know? Like a little tiny bit tipsy.”

She took long strides with her legs, and when she reached Lisa’s vicinity she outstretched both arms and gripped Lisa’s shoulders. She looked up at the younger girl with a somewhat comical, serious expression. “Being drunk is for the weak, little one.”

“Right.”

Jennie gave Lisa a lopsided grin, showing her gums and teeth. “You make me a little crazy, you know? I keep having… confusing thoughts.”

Ironically, Lisa sighed. She had waited far too long for Jennie to speak up and tell her how she felt, but that wasn’t the appropriate time. Lisa didn’t really want to have that conversation when Jennie wasn’t sober.

“Jennie, why don’t you go to bed?”

“Of course I want to go to bed!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Lisa’s neck and standing on her tiptoes. “I want to get you in bed as well.”

The last phrase was said in a low, husky tone and Lisa couldn’t help biting her lip. Jennie was obviously wasted, and she was not the most cooperative person under the effect of alcohol.

“It’s late, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

Jennie giggled as if Lisa had just told her the funniest joke. “We don’t do the talking.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“We do the kissing part really well though. Like really, _really_ well. I like kissing you.”

With the hand that wasn’t gripping her towel, Lisa reached up to grab onto Jennie’s arm. “Go to sleep, Jen.”

“But I’m so horny.” Jennie pursed her lips. “I want to feel you come around my fingers. Or my tongue. My tongue is good too.”

Lisa swallowed hard at Jennie’s dirty comments, she was not used to that kind of language. Jennie was not normally very explicit with her words in bed. At least, not with her. But she couldn’t deny that even in her cute drunken state, Jennie managed to make her extremely aroused with her not-so-smooth dirty talk. Lisa pressed her thighs together in hopes of getting some kind of relief.

“Listen, I don’t think—“

Her words were cut off by Jennie’s full lips, successfully making Lisa forget why she was protesting in the first place. Jennie was a very good kisser, always using the right pressure and pretty much an expert with her tongue. Lisa had never been kissed that hard by anyone before.

Distracted by the heated kiss, Lisa’s hold on the towel became weaker and eventually, it slipped right through her fingers. Before getting the chance to bend down and pull it back up, Jennie was already grabbing her waist with both hands, lifting her up above the low dresser behind. She pushed a few items off of it, but there was nothing stopping her at that point.

Lisa was completely naked, nothing to cover her except for Jennie’s wandering hands. But it wasn’t enough for Lisa, she needed more. Jennie could light up a fire inside her in a matter of seconds. Her stare was too intense, her touch burning every inch of her skin. There was just no way Lisa could resist her.

“Jennie,” she moaned out loud, encouraging the girl to continue kissing down the blonde’s neck and leaving marks on her breasts. Lisa held the back of Jennie’s head, not having the strength to push her back when Jennie’s mouth did wonders to her body.

But somehow, Jennie was still not touching her where she craved her the most. Lisa was losing it, desperately grabbing one of Jennie’s hands and guiding her to her wet entrance.

“Do you want me to touch you?” the Korean girl blurted out suddenly, not giving in to Lisa’s silent request. Honestly speaking, Lisa was astonished by Jennie’s ability to ask for consent even in her inebriated state, but at that time and place she really didn’t have the patience for it.

“Fuck yes,” she breathed out against Jennie’s mouth. “I need you now.”

As soon as Lisa finished speaking, Jennie’s fingers pushed inside her and Lisa groaned at the feeling of finally having Jennie take care of her. It was always like that. They didn’t really talk, but they always ended up communicating perfectly when they were both turned on.

It was weird. Lisa couldn’t even imagine going back to the days where her and Jennie didn’t have sex every other day. She liked being so close to her, she liked to drive Jennie insane when they were in bed. It was the only way she had to prove that Jennie was attracted to her enough to lose control. It made her feel wanted. Being kissed and touched so sensually felt extremely good, better than anything Lisa had ever experienced. But Lisa also couldn’t imagine being so comfortably intimate with anyone but Jennie – because, even after Jisoo gave her all those warnings, Lisa only wanted her.

She wanted all of Jennie. Everything she had to offer, Lisa wanted it all.

Maybe they were both messed up. Jennie for acting like a coward and hiding how she felt, and Lisa for not giving up regardless of how much it hurt. And maybe there will never be a happy ending for them. But somehow, whenever they were together, Lisa momentarily erased all her concerns and focused entirely on giving Jennie the best of her.

After all, Lisa wasn’t the type to run away. She didn’t want to leave, not when Jennie needed her to stay. So as long as Jennie came back to her, Lisa would welcome her with open arms.

\-----


	8. eight

The days following Jennie’s little drunken seducing episode were, to say the least, a bit strange. Like she always did, Jennie had gone out early so Lisa couldn’t confront her the morning after. But what made things strange was how Jennie also came back late at night and locked herself in her room. She didn’t even stop by Lisa’s door, and the blonde didn’t sense any hesitation when she heard Jennie walk straight to her bedroom. Lisa had still waited. With her eyes fixed on her own door, she waited to see if Jennie was really going to ignore her needs so easily.

Needless to say, Jennie didn’t make an appearance that night.

The following day, Lisa didn’t even have the energy to get up from bed. She had never actually taken into account how sleep deprived she was, being with Jennie was usually enough to make her feel alive. She lied lazily in bed until her alarm went off, the repetitive sound blasting at a very high volume. Under normal circumstances, Lisa would have hit the snooze button immediately. But that morning, she just let the room be filled with the noise. After all, it was nice to have her thoughts be overtaken, even if it was just for a minute.

Apparently, Lisa was not the only one that had waited for her alarm. A few minutes after, a knock on the door made the blonde sit up and push off her blanket. She turned to her side so she could face the entrance of her room fully, and tried her best to hide her nervousness as Jennie pushed the door open. She didn’t step in, opting to stay as far from Lisa as she could. Unlike Lisa, who was still in her pyjamas with her hair looking like a mess, Jennie was already dressed and ready to go out. Lisa could only assume that she had been waiting for her.

“Hey,” Lisa greeted quietly. She was not really sure if Jennie was actually going to speak at all if she didn’t initiate.

“Good morning.”

“Is everything okay?” Lisa prompted.

It was easy to tell that Jennie was being really cautious. Her shoulders were tense, and her posture wasn’t as confident as usual.

“Yeah, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for…”

“For what?”

“About the other night… I’m really sorry.” She paused, and then started to take a few steps back. “It won’t happen again. So, I just wanted to… let you know that.”

“What are yo—“

Lisa didn’t even get to stand up before Jennie was gone from her sight. _Not this time,_ Lisa thought as she rushed out into the corridor and chased after the brunette. It shouldn’t be like this. If Jennie wanted to apologise, she should have had the decency to hear what Lisa had to say. She was tired of watching her escape as if Lisa could do anything to hurt her.

“Jennie!” she called out from the top of the staircase.

The last thing she heard was the front door being slammed shut. And then Jennie was gone.

\----

Lisa was angry.

She had never been so annoyed and frustrated with someone. Not even with her dad. She didn’t know how she was supposed to take Jennie’s apology, but seeing her leave right after without even letting Lisa get her words out was _pretty fucking rude_.

To make things even worse, Jennie didn’t return home that night. Which, again, was a very inconsiderate move. Regardless how mad she was, Lisa still cared about Jennie a lot more than what she was supposed to. Her pride didn’t let her go as far as calling her, but she did eventually give into her panic and messaged Chaeyoung instead.

When she received a reply, Lisa didn’t know how to feel. Chaeyoung’s text only said _‘She’s with me’._ Nothing about where Jennie was or what she was doing. It was nothing new, Lisa had received that sort of reply a while before, when Jennie would spend the entire night drinking and partying with random people. Back then, Lisa didn’t really care. But now? It didn’t really feel good. Lisa would have spent yet another sleepless night being worried while Jennie was out there having a good time.

It wasn’t fair.

Jennie changed from having a constant need for sex to avoiding Lisa at all cost, as if that memorable night switched something inside her. But Lisa just didn’t understand how that night was any different from every other time they had slept together. Lisa couldn’t be bothered anymore, she didn’t want to wait for Jennie like a loyal puppy when the girl was clearly not willing to come back to her after everything she did. She could understand that Jennie wasn’t in control that night, she could understand that she was, for some reason, afraid of being honest about what she wanted from Lisa.

What she couldn’t accept was the continuous avoidance. There was nothing that justified Jennie’s unwillingness to communicate, no matter what their situation was. Acting like they didn’t live together was not helping, Lisa thought they had overcome that obstacle long ago.

And so, Lisa let her be. If Jennie didn’t want to be around anymore, Lisa wouldn’t force her.

\---

Considering how difficult it was to keep up with Jennie, Lisa was somewhat glad that she had a break from their unclear status. It was yet another school week, so Lisa also had to complete different assignments, as well as a group project she was going to work on during the weekend. It was more than enough to keep her busy during Jennie’s temporary disappearance.

But if Lisa was to be fully honest, she would admit that she had been missing Jennie’s touch during the week. Of course, it wasn’t just a matter of physical need. She missed having Jennie close to her without complications. Lisa longed to hear Jennie’s contagious laugh, or the cute smile she’d show whenever she saw Lisa being clumsy. And her voice. God, Lisa could listen to Jennie talking for hours without ever needing a break. Jennie’s voice was quite low, yet very smooth.

Except Lisa had only been listening to Jennie speak when they were in bed together getting down and dirty for the past weeks. Jennie always knew what to say in the sexiest way possible, and it surely did make Lisa’s desire to have her even stronger. Recently, since Lisa couldn’t get her release with Jennie, she had resigned to pleasuring herself alone in bed with the image of Jennie on top of her saying all kinds of filthy phrases. Her own hand wasn’t really as satisfactory as actually having Jennie getting her off, but it was the only option she had for the time being.

After a week of avoiding each other, the weekend finally arrived, meaning that neither girl could use the excuse of having classes to get out of the house and avoid each other. Lisa knew that Jennie was still going to run away from her, but the blonde had lost all the motivation to go and chase after her. She stopped waiting for Jennie to come around. After all, it was her that started with the silent treatment. Lisa didn’t do anything as far as she knew, and if there was something that upset Jennie, the brunette should be the one to speak up first. If she wanted to talk, Lisa would listen.

It was Saturday afternoon. Lisa had spent her morning with a few friends from her dance team. She really needed to distract herself. It was easy to pretend her life was as simple as it was before Jennie moved in when Lisa was away from her. But as soon as she got home, the illusion was gone.

After ensuring Jennie wasn’t in the house, Lisa started to clean up the place. She was waiting for her group project partner to arrive. Lisa offered her home as a meeting place since it was free, and Jennie being back before midnight was highly unlikely. She collected a few textbooks and her laptop from her room and arranged the material she needed to work on above the table in the living room. With everything set up, Lisa was left to play with Leo in the meantime. But thankfully, her partner showed up at her door just a few minutes later.

Tzuyu had been Lisa’s classmate since the beginning of high school. The girl was tall and naturally beautiful, very popular among the boys (and girls). She was undeniably stunning, Lisa couldn’t argue on that matter. The blonde had opened the door to see Tzuyu in casual wear, a simple white jumper and skinny jeans. Her school bag was also draped over one shoulder, and with her free hand she was holding a bakery bag.

“Hey Lisa,” she waved lightly.

“Hello, come in.”

Lisa held the door open while Tzuyu stepped into the house. She closed the door and followed the girl to the living room, where their project material awaited.

Lisa walked on the other side of the white couch and settled down, waiting for her partner to get her things out of the bag.

“How have you been?” Lisa asked.

“Not too bad, I guess. Just wanna get this presentation out of the way since the essay outline is already looking good. And you? Up to anything interesting?”

“No, everything is the same as always.” Lisa laughed nervously. Her relationship with Jennie was not really publicly known, she had still not mentioned having a step-sister to most people. Tzuyu just hummed in acknowledgment, probably already expecting the usual answer.

“Have you started on anything?” Tzuyu questioned, opening her notebook and placing it on the table in front of them. She had also opened the paper bag she had brought, taking out a few pastries and offering them to Lisa. The blonde gladly accepted.

“Not really, just been looking through a few webpages,” Lisa replied, gesturing towards her open laptop with multiple open tabs displayed.

Tzuyu laughed sweetly and nodded. “Alright, we should start documenting then.”

Lisa agreed, and the two girls easily shifted into work-mode. As students, they were both decent in terms of academics, and never really caused much trouble. Tzuyu was a very quiet girl, but once she was comfortable around someone her personality started to show. She could make the most random comments and Lisa would laugh until her stomach ached.

Just like the Thai girl, Tzuyu was also a foreigner, and maybe that was one of the reason as to why they got along so well from the moment they met. Not many people were aware of it, but there was a time where Lisa used to have a small innocent crush on Tzuyu. The two had kissed before, more than once, but it wasn’t anything serious for either of them. They were young and in need of company, but Lisa never really thought they were ready for a relationship.

That didn’t change the fact that whenever Tzuyu and her met up, it was always a great time.

Hours had passed, but Lisa didn’t even notice due to how much fun she was having with the Taiwanese girl. By the time they decided to take a break, they immediately started to talk about anything except work. For them, getting distracted together was easy just like that. At some point, they ended up sitting very closely, their heads touching as they both looked at YouTube videos on Lisa’s phone. They were so busy with laughing and smiling like idiots that they didn’t hear the sound of the front door opening and the steps of an annoyed brunette entering the living room.

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?”

Hearing the familiar voice, Lisa’s expression quickly went from carefree to serious. She only turned her head slightly, enough to see Jennie standing with a frown and crossed arms. She was wearing an old leather jacket and black jeans, and Lisa thought it was extremely unfair of her to still look so attractive when her face screamed annoyance. However, Lisa was also not happy with Jennie’s sudden appearance. She didn’t want to have problems when Tzuyu was still in the house. The girl didn’t deserve to see them fight.

“We were working,” Lisa stated firmly, looking away from Jennie and back to her phone screen. Tzuyu looked awkwardly between the two girls, sensing the change in atmosphere.

“Lisa, maybe it’s best if I leave…?” It came out more as a question, but Lisa shook her head.

“No, we still have to work. It’s nothing, that’s just… my sister.”

Lisa had to bite her tongue as soon as she got the words out. The term ‘sister’ was acid in her mouth. Jennie, on her part, laughed out loud sarcastically.

“Yeah, right. I’ll see you later little sis, your unnie is going to be upstairs.” Jennie’s tone was disgustingly sweet, Lisa felt the need to throw up.

Embarrassed didn’t even begin to describe how Lisa felt. Caught up in the moment, she let ‘sister’ escape her lips just to get a reaction out of Jennie. They both knew more than well that they were involved in a way that couldn’t be compared to a sibling’s bond, _ever_. Hearing Jennie’s heavy footsteps as she went up, Lisa looked down in shame. She had a feeling that her and Jennie were going to have an outburst after a week of silence, but she didn’t expect it to be in front of a friend.

“Sorry about that,” Lisa apologised, but Tzuyu waved her hand in front of her, quickly dismissing the apology.

“It’s okay, no worries.” The tall brunette then glanced towards the staircase behind them. “Your sister seems a bit… scary.”

Lisa laughed and leaned back. She would usually never call Jennie ‘scary’, but when there was something bothering her, the Korean girl could turn into a feisty kitten.

“I don’t even understand her most of the time. And she’s not my sister, actually.”

“Oh.”

“Step-sister, or something like that.”

“I see.” Tzuyu nodded, understanding Lisa’s implied message. There was more to the story, clearly.

“We can finish this on Monday, if you want?” Tzuyu offered at the end.

But Lisa wanted to finish working as soon as possible. She would not allow her private life to get in the way of keeping a professional mindset. It was the mature thing to do.

“No, let’s keep going.”

And so the two school girls ended up staying together a little longer, all while Jennie was still confined within the upper floor. Lisa had to admit that she enjoyed her time with Tzuyu, but sometimes she’d intentionally laugh too loud at her partner’s jokes just to send a message to Jennie. Maybe it was a bit of a provocation, but Lisa didn’t care at the time. She thought Jennie deserved it.

Sometimes, Lisa couldn’t help but notice that some of Tzuyu’s comments seemed very… flirtatious. They could be just compliments, but there were other little moments that made Lisa wonder where they were heading to. She’d occasionally touch Lisa’s arm when they were speaking, and even though she wasn’t looking, Lisa knew that Tzuyu was glancing her way. At first, Lisa felt awkward. It had been a while since she had been so close to her, but soon enough she forgot about it and fell right back into their humorous conversation. She knew Tzuyu, and Lisa was comfortable with her.

“Blonde hair suits you,” the girl commented at some point.

Lisa looked up at her from her laptop screen, her eyebrows raised in surprise. Tzuyu was looking over her head, reaching out and fixing Lisa’s bangs slightly. The affectionate gesture made Lisa flush, especially when she felt Tzuyu’s fingers brushing gently against her forehead. Tzuyu’s touch was soothing.

“Yeah, I’ve had it dyed for almost a year now.” Lisa laughed nervously. “I needed a little change.”

“I kinda miss the brown hair. You looked so cute.” Tzuyu grinned lovingly. “But now you’re all grown up, aren’t you?”

“I guess we both are.”

“Yeah…” their faces had somehow gotten closer, only a few inches apart. “We are.”

Lisa held her breath. She watched as Tzuyu’s eyes fell down to her lips, an obvious indication of her intentions. Lisa had been with the Taiwanese girl in that same position before, and she vividly remembered how they ended up making out in an empty hallway. But back then, things were different. Back then, Lisa was not thinking about Jennie.

“You seem a bit tense.” Tzuyu’s voice was just above a whisper, and Lisa didn’t dare to move. “I could help you with that.”

Tzuyu was still touching the side of Lisa’s face, and slowly she let her fingers come down and below Lisa’s chin, pulling her towards awaiting lips. There wasn’t much time to react before Lisa felt Tzuyu’s lips touch her own. The blonde froze with wide eyes while Tzuyu kissed her softly. Unlike Jennie, Tzuyu took her time. Her kiss was gentle and welcoming. Innocent, almost. And for a moment, Lisa forgot about everything else and kissed her back. Tzuyu was as good as she remembered, knowing exactly how Lisa liked to be kissed, and yet—there was no comparison with Jennie. As the image of the older brunette suddenly flashed through her mind, Lisa leaned back abruptly and pushed herself back on the couch.

Tzuyu didn’t look too bothered, she quietly observed Lisa’s shocked expression.

“I—Tzuyu, I’m so sorry but I’m not…”

And that’s when the brunette’s shoulders started to shake as she erupted in giggles. Lisa parted her lips confused, while Tzuyu kept laughing wholeheartedly.

“If only you could see the face you just made!” she exclaimed as she pushed Lisa’s shoulder playfully.

Dumbfounded, Lisa just gave the girl a blank stare. “I don’t think I understand.”

Finally catching her breath, Tzuyu leaned back and returned to her original spot, keeping her personal space. “I was just messing with you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Hmm,” Tzuyu confirmed. “Just wanted to see your reaction. Definitely worth it.”

“Why would you do that?” Lisa whined, always a having been a victim of Tzuyu’s acts of mischief.

“Oh _please,_ as soon as the shortie in leather walked in I was choking on the sexual tension in the air.”

Lisa opened her mouth, but she was at a loss for words. She didn’t think they were being so obvious, much less when they had argued in front of the girl. And yet, Tzuyu still managed to figure it out from one single interaction. How did she ever think people would not clock on?

“I don’t know what to say,” Lisa mumbled embarrassed.

“Don’t worry, I don’t judge. But maybe you should tell your so-called _sister_ that she has no competition. Or at least, not from me.”

 _Competition?_ She never thought that Jennie would have been concerned about Lisa having eyes for anyone but her. It didn’t make sense, Jennie had never seemed to have that sort of attachment to her.

“…You think she was jealous?”

“She was basically shooting lasers at me from her eyes, so I’d confidently say yes.”

Lisa laughed at last. Jennie could become so intimidating when she was annoyed, and there was no denying that Lisa was rather scared of what she could be capable of when she was furious. And maybe it’d be nice if they managed to sort out their issues before things got to that stage.

“I… well, it’s complicated.”

“I thought so. You don’t usually snap at people.”

“She’s different. She’s just— I don’t know, she brings out so many sides of me, but I can never predict her next moves. One day she acts one way, and another day she changes her mind. It just makes me feel… confused.”

“Sounds pretty intense. Why don’t you just tell her?”

“I try to,” Lisa scratched her temple, “but we don’t talk like that.”

A knowing smirk appeared on Tzuyu’s face as soon as she connected the dots, quickly figuring out the reason behind Lisa’s rosy cheeks. “I see.”

Lisa was grateful that no intrusive questions followed, the conversion having ended in a mutual understanding of Lisa’s messy ‘relationship’.

Fairly speaking, Lisa was glad that she had finally spoken about Jennie with someone other than Jisoo. It felt good to just be able to openly express her feelings and not hide them like a dirty little secret. Tzuyu was a good listener, she didn’t make Lisa feel like a fool for wanting to pursue someone like Jennie Kim. She knew it was going to be hard, but eventually thing would work out.

By the time Tzuyu had to leave, anxiety kicked in. Lisa knew that sooner or later, she had to confront Jennie. She wasn’t exactly looking forward to having an argument, but she hoped that Jennie would finally let her true emotions show. There was just the risk of being shouted at and avoided once again, but Lisa had gotten used to it. She'd survive.

Jennie didn’t leave anything prepared for dinner that evening, most likely because she had planned to come back home earlier than usual. For a moment, Lisa felt guilty. Maybe Jennie was going to speak to her over dinner, hence why she was home, but Lisa put her in a bad mood. It wasn’t her fault, she didn’t know why Jennie had been so annoyed that afternoon. Tzuyu and her were just watching videos, but Jennie reacted as if she had seen them making out on the couch. (Which they didn’t end up doing anyways!)

Since there was nothing to eat, Lisa sighed and reached for one of the cupboards where she knew were the packets on instant ramen. It was unhealthy, but quick and easy to make. She poured water into a small pot and left it on the stove, waiting for the water to start boiling. She grabbed some scissors and cut open the soup base sachet, leaving it ready for use. With nothing else to do, Lisa stood in front of the stove, humming and watching the little bubbles form on the sides of the pot. She never tried cooking nor baking again after she had tried to do both for Jennie. The kitchen just wasn’t her place.

Too immersed in the instant ramen process, Lisa was startled when she heard Jennie’s footsteps, indicating that she had, at last, decided to come downstairs. Lisa felt herself tense up, wrapping her arms around her middle and awaiting the upcoming confrontation with bated breath. Jennie was getting closer and closer, but her steps halted abruptly just behind Lisa’s upright figure.

Lisa waited, and waited, and waited.

She could hear Jennie’s steady breathing, and smell her infamous Chanel perfume. Lisa didn’t know if it was weird for her to be able to sense when Jennie was close without even seeing her. She had paid very close attention to every small detail that surrounded Jennie, without even being aware of how much she had learnt about her habits.

Lisa though that Jennie would have been the first one to speak up. She wanted her to be. But Jennie just moved a few inches closer and circled the blonde’s waist with both arms, pulling her back and against her front.

“So… I’m your sister now?” Jennie’s tone was playful, and Lisa could tell there were traces of mischief behind her words.

“You know you’re not.”

Jennie was shorter than Lisa, but her lips were onto the younger girl’s neck with ease. Just for a few seconds, Lisa let herself be immersed into Jennie’s embraced. It had been days since the last time they had been so close. Lisa felt a weird twitch in her stomach when she sensed Jennie smile against her skin.

“No? You sounded very…” her voice kept going lower and lower, kissing around the base of Lisa’s neck occasionally, “…confident, in front of you pretty friend.”

“What was I supposed to say then? You’re my _it’s complicated?_ ” Lisa’s words came out harsher than what she planned, but she wanted to let Jennie know how frustrated she felt with how they ended up. She still didn’t turn around to face her, hearing Jennie sigh was enough of an answer. The older girl was still not going to discuss the topic, and Lisa was getting angrier each time their problems were avoided as if they didn’t exist.

“Who is she?” Jennie wanted to sound disinterested, but Lisa could hear right through her bullshit.

“Does it matter to you?”

“Do you like her?”

“We can’t just keep asking questions back and forth,” Lisa argued, and at the same time the water in front of her started to boil. Hearing the bubbling noises, Jennie outstretched one of her arms to turn the stove off.

“I was going to use that,” Lisa said flatly. Jennie simply returned to wrap her arms around Lisa and rested her chin above her shoulder.

“If you’re interested, you should go for her.”

At first, Lisa was perplexed. Jennie was telling her to pursue another girl, and at the same time, holding her close within her arms and making her feel like that was where she belonged. After confusion, came the rage. Jennie was doing things to her head, messing up everything in her life without any second thought.

The blonde furrowed her eyebrows and wiggled free from Jennie’s grasp. She turned around and looked down at Jennie’s stoic expression. The girl was not wearing any makeup, and still looked amazing. But Lisa had other plans than stand and admire Jennie’s natural beauty.

“So that’s it? I can just go and chase after another girl?”

Jennie shrugged. “If that’s what you want, I can’t stop you.”

“And what do _you_ know about what _I_ want?” Lisa scoffed, crossing her arms defensively.

“I wasn’t the one openly flirting with some girl,” Jennie rebutted, “I’m just asking if you like her.”

“I wasn’t flirting!”

“But do you like her?”

“No.”

“Didn’t look like it.”

“Jennie,” Lisa called out, letting her arms fall to her sides in defeat, “I like _you._ I told you I like you, I showed you I like you and I don’t know what else-“

Jennie grabbed both sides of Lisa’s flushed face and brought her down for a searing kiss. Lisa froze at the sudden action but it didn’t take long to lose herself in Jennie’s hot mouth. It was so, so, so easy. There was no resistance whatsoever.

In a quick movement, Jennie switched their positions and had the gasping blonde pinned against the kitchen counter. Still with her hands roaming all over Lisa’s toned body, Jennie pushed Lisa over the edge of the counter and sat her above it, standing right between Lisa’s thighs.

Breaking away from the kiss, Jennie rested her forehead against Lisa, not meeting her eyes.

“Why can’t I…” Jennie whispered out of breath, “I’m sorry. I should have stayed away from you.”

Lisa shook her head, closing her eyes as she pressed her lips to Jennie’s softly.

“I’m sorry.” Jennie’s voice got thinner, almost as if she was choking back words. “I’m sorry I keep coming back.”

Lisa didn’t really know why Jennie kept tormenting herself. Lisa was hurt by Jennie’s treatment, but nothing could compare to how painful it was to watch Jennie being so afflicted with herself. Each time Lisa got to see Jennie being emotional, she asked herself if that was what she really wanted. To see her fall apart in front of her eyes. Perhaps Jennie was a little broken, and Lisa had no idea of how to put her back together. The only thing she knew was how to make her feel better. Temporarily, but still effectively.

“Stop talking.” Lisa pushed Jennie’s chin up and stared into her sad orbs, “Please.”

Kissing was not the same as speaking, but Lisa could still understand what Jennie wanted to communicate through her touches.

It was an apology.

But Lisa didn’t want an apology. She wanted Jennie to explain, to tell her why she was not letting Lisa love her the way she deserved to. However, she could sense a change. Jennie was no longer cold and detached. There was something more, something that made the spark within Lisa shine brighter. She could feel it. Jennie had missed her, just as much as Lisa had missed her.

So as Jennie buried herself into Lisa’s neck, desperately kissing and nibbling around any sensitive spot she could find, Lisa held her tight and wrapped her long legs around the smaller girl.

“I just want you.”

\----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely readers, I hope you are all doing well. 
> 
> thank you to everyone that has commented and left kudos so far, you get all my love and affection. please continue to share your thoughts!
> 
> do not worry, things between lisa and jennie should (probably) only get better from now on


	9. nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't get to proofread properly, my apologies for any ugly mistakes!

Coming to terms with mutual attraction was a lot easier than dealing with a one-sided crush. There was still the slight possibility that Lisa might have started to imagine things, but if you asked her, she was pretty sure it was all real.

The changes were very subtle, but Lisa never missed them. From the moment Jennie had moved in, Lisa had continuously observed the way she acted, it was the only way she could figure out anything about how Jennie felt. She was the first one to notice if there was something different, and therefore, the shift in Jennie’s attitude was loud and clear to Lisa.

It started all with a morning. Similarly to most other nights, Jennie had come into Lisa’s bedroom in the middle of the night and well, fucked her. (Maybe the term was too crude at that point since Jennie had definitely started to go a lot softer on her in bed, but still very passionate nonetheless.) Except _unlike_ most other nights, Jennie had wrapped her arms around Lisa’s naked body and slept soundly against her back. There had been times where Jennie would sleep close to her when they shared a bed, but the Korean girl was not much of a cuddler. So to Lisa, the newfound affectionate position was surprising. What was an even more shocking moment was the morning after, when Lisa heard her alarm go off and instead of waking up alone, she found Jennie calmly sleeping next to her in the exact same way they had fallen asleep.

Lisa might have sounded like a bit of a creep, but she loved watching Jennie sleep. Her serene expression, free of any stress or worry. She looked extremely cute, and Lisa had to fight back the urge of kissing the sleeping girl all over the face. Jennie acted cool and tough, but when she was in a state of peace within the walls of their house, she could turn into a baby.

Unfortunately, waking up next to each other didn’t necessarily mean they were able to make improvements in their communication flaws. Jennie woke up slowly, untangling their limbs as she stretched. Lisa could only watch her quietly and wait for her reaction. But Jennie just blinked her eyes open and scanned her surroundings, almost as if she was not surprised to be found in Lisa’s room.

“Good morning,” she greeted hoarsely. She sat up and let the covers fall onto her lap, Lisa looking away awkwardly as a consequence of the girl’s nakedness. Jennie was taking her time, rubbing her eyes with both hands and yawning. She didn’t say anything else.

Pushing the blanket aside, Jennie stood up despite Lisa’s wandering eyes, and picked up the discarded clothes from the floor. Without glancing back, she walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.

Lisa was left stunned. She didn’t know how Jennie could go from avoiding her like the plague to casually walking around naked in front of her. It was the first time it happened, but Lisa couldn’t tell if it was significant or not. But for once, it was a step forward.

After the mornings together came the random displays of affection. Lisa would jump whenever she’d feel Jennie’s arm sneak around her waist when they were close, it had been a while since she had received innocent touches without further purpose. If that wasn’t enough, when Lisa would watch something on the TV and Jennie joined her on the couch, instead of being a few inches apart she started to lean a lot into Lisa’s body. Sometimes, when Lisa least expected it, Jennie would reach over and grab her hand, pulling it towards her so she could let it rest on her lap and play gently with Lisa’s fingers. Of course, Lisa was not immune to Jennie’s touch so whenever that happened she felt a tingle all over, but never made a move to get her hand back. She liked when Jennie was close to her without the involvement of sex or heated make outs. It was almost as if they had returned to how they acted before the whole ‘I like you’ fiasco. But obviously, now they were at as stage beyond friendly deeds.

And it didn’t end there.

Alongside soft touches and affectionate gestures, Jennie started to give Lisa kisses whenever she felt like it. Since they had returned to spending the morning together, Lisa got the chance to see Jennie before she left for her morning lectures. But before heading out, one day Jennie approached the blonde while she had breakfast on the dining table, and gently pressed her lips to Lisa’s as if it was the most natural thing to do. It wasn’t a heated kiss, just a mere touch of lips, but Lisa’s heart raced regardless. As the days passed, it became more usual for them to kiss spontaneously, without it being a way to initiate sex. (Although the sex still happened, and very often so)

It was… nice. Maybe the word was too simple to describe how Lisa found the change in their relationship, but having Jennie in her arms and being able to kiss her as if they were actually together made Lisa feel extremely happy.

\---

There’s nothing wrong with making a bad move and being fully aware of it. As long as the consequences were not too bad, it was worth the risk.

Lisa thought it was fair of her to dig a little deeper into Jennie’s past. She wanted to find out what really caused her to be so cautious of relationships, and a little investigation was not going to hurt anyone.

There were only two people Lisa knew had been heavily involved with Jennie’s life. The first one was, obviously, her mother. Kaeun was a nice woman, but Lisa wasn’t acquainted with her enough to have a personal talk. But more than anything, Lisa didn’t want to raise any suspicion by asking specific questions about Jennie and have their parents watching their every move. She was already thankful that they were not constantly home, and it would be an issue if they ever found out what their daughters were up to behind their backs.

That only left her with one option: Park Chaeyoung.

Lisa didn’t think too much when she called Chaeyoung and asked her to meet up. It was weird for them to hang out alone all of a sudden, but Lisa thought that it was reasonable enough.

She waited for the pink-haired girl at a café near the city centre. Jennie had gone out with some of her high school friends, and Lisa had taken the opportunity to sneak out and go on her special mission. Chaeyoung initially sounded surprised when she heard Lisa’s unusual request, but accepted nonetheless. She walked into the café in a white crop top and blue jeans, but Lisa almost didn’t recognise her since Chaeyoung had apparently dyed her hair blonde. It was a lighter shade than Lisa’s, and she looked pretty much like a Disney princess.

“Hi, Lisa!”

“Hey.”

Lisa smiled up at the taller girl and waved. Chaeyoung sat down on the other side of the small table and Lisa wrapped her hands around a mug of hot chocolate she had ordered a few minutes before. The place wasn’t too busy, there were a couple of other customers but the atmosphere was peaceful and cosy. Lisa gently tapped her foot as Chaeyoung ordered a drink, getting ready for their conversation.

After they exchanged pleasantries, Chaeyoung went straight for the point.

“So, what do you need to talk about?” Chaeyoung sounded like she was making small talk, but Lisa could hear that she was intrigued and at the same time on alert.

“I won’t go around in circles,” Lisa let out, “so I’ll just say it. I want to know a few things about Jennie. I know you guys are pretty… close. And if you don’t feel comfortable with this conversation, I won’t argue about it.”

“No, that’s fine. But… since you’ve been living with Jennie, I thought you knew her enough. She’s your step-sister, I don’t see how anything I know could be of use to you.”

“Well,” Lisa ran a hand through her hair, ready to drop the bomb. “Something happened between us.”

Chaeyoung raised an eyebrow at her statement. “Oh, is that so?”

“Yeah… On her birthday, last month, I told her I liked her,” Lisa explained. “As in, romantically.”

Nodding quietly, Chaeyoung seemed very calm about the topic of their conversation. Considering that Lisa had never showed signs of being into Jennie during the few times Chaeyoung was with them, her reaction was too plain. It made Lisa wonder if she knew more than she let on.

“And then?”

“She said no.”

That seemed to throw off the taller blonde slightly. “She said… no?”

“Yeah, she rejected me.”

“Okay… that’s strange.” Chaeyoung mumbled her last words, almost as if she was talking to herself.

“I mean I let it be, it was her choice. But after that we kind of… got involved into something… deeper.”

Chaeyoung looked clueless, and Lisa sighed.

“We slept together,” she admitted, her ears turning red.

“Okay.”

Lisa was getting more and more suspicious about Chaeyoung’s lack of response. She didn’t want to question it just yet, she simply continued to play along.

“Yeah, so now I don’t know what’s happening with us.”

“From what you told me, it just sounds like casual sex.” Chaeyoung shrugged, but her hands started to fidget a little.

“I guess it is. I mean, I can’t say much since she was my first and all—“

“Wait, wait, wait,” Chaeyoung suddenly leaned forward and stared at Lisa like she grew a second head. “Jennie was your first?”

Lisa blushed and looked at their surroundings, checking that no one was eavesdropping on their talk. She turned and faced Chaeyoung once again, nodding lightly. “Yeah, but it wasn’t bad or anything—“

“—does Jennie know?” The urgent tone made Lisa frown in concern.

“No, but I don’t think it matters now—“

“Lisa, I strongly, and I say _strongly_ advise you to tell her.”

The serious expression alongside the intense stare made Lisa feel intimidated. She never knew how scary the girl could look when she seemed so innocent all the time. But above everything else, Lisa figured that there could only be one reason to explain the overreaction.

“Chaeyoung,” she started, crossing her arms on the table, “everything I just told you… you already heard it before, right?”

Chayeoung bit her bottom lip and looked down. _Caught._

“Not everything… I didn’t know the last part.” Chaeyoung took a sip of her iced coffee, looking at Lisa with a sad look. “Despite what you might think of us, Jennie is my friend. She tells me most things, and I tell her my problems too. So yes, I knew about your complicated relationship beforehand.”

Lisa couldn’t be mad at the discovery, she had also told Jisoo about it, so technically it wasn’t a super secretive topic.

“So, I suppose you also know why I asked you to meet me?”

“I think I can guess.”

Considering that Lisa only had one chance to get the information she wanted, she didn’t really hesitate in voicing her questions. She never received clear answers from Jennie the first time she asked, so Lisa hoped that Chaeyoung would be more open in sharing her story.

“You and Jennie… how did it work out between you two? I mean, even though we have sex she’s still not… _with me_ , you know what I’m saying?”

Surprisingly, Chaeyoung laughed.

“Listen Lisa, Jennie and I _never_ worked out.” Her smile fading, Chaeyoung rubbed the back of her neck and continued. “When I started university, I had just moved from Australia. Jennie was the first person to speak to me and make me feel welcome. I never thought she’d be interested in someone as shy and quiet as myself, but she befriended me without hesitation. I will forever be grateful for her.”

Lisa listened closely, she had been curious about their history since she first met Chaeyoung.

“And then, me being a hopeless romantic, I fell in love with her. But Jennie…” a conflicted look crossed her features, “…she’s not the relationship type. And she told me right from the start. I knew she was trying to save me from heartbreak when she turned me down, but I still tried. I wanted her. Anything she could give me, I would have accepted.”

That feeling was awfully familiar to Lisa, she felt her whole body freeze just at the thought.

“And that’s how we started being fuck buddies or whatever you wanna call it. She was the sweetest with me, always making sure she wasn’t overstepping any boundaries. And I didn’t give up on what we had, even if it wasn’t necessarily what I wanted. She needed me, and I needed her.”

“But we never became anything more than that. She kept seeing other people, and I had my fair share of dates. Nothing ever worked out, it was just Jennie and I. We always took care of each other, but never actually made that extra step,” she continued with a defeated tone.

Lisa should have known. Anyone could tell that Chaeyoung loved Jennie. Lisa had seen it in her eyes whenever they were together, so it shouldn’t have been that much of a shock. But Jennie never looked at Chaeyoung the same way. A guilty part of her was glad that Jennie wasn’t emotionally taken. She used to think that if Jennie was going to ever date someone, Chaeyoung would have been her first choice. She had a heart of gold, the dream girlfriend. But now that she knew that Jennie was not going to give herself to Chaeyoung, it was a relief. It meant that she still had a chance.

But on the other side of things, Lisa’s heart ached for Chaeyoung, she had given her heart to a girl that could never give anything in return. And Lisa had to admit, the possibility of going through the same process scared her more than anything.

“And now? You’re still in love with her?” Lisa had to ask.

Chaeyoung glanced through the window next to them and stared at nothing in particular, leaning her chin on her hand in thought. She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t think so… I still have feelings for her, I can’t deny that, but it was time for me to move on.”

Returning her gaze to the younger girl, she finally let a grin appear. “After all, I’ve had a very interesting girl courting me lately.”

Lisa couldn’t help but chuckle, knowing too well who she was referring to. “Jisoo is a good person, Chaeng. So if you’re still sleeping with Jen—“

“—hang on,” Chaeyoung interrupted, “you really think I’d let Jisoo get close to me if I was still with Jennie?”

 _Thank fuck,_ Lisa thought. The time where Jennie had spent the night at Chaeyoung’s had been bugging her all along, and it was a big relief to know that all they had was a sleepover. It wasn’t just about her though, Lisa was also thinking about how painful it would be for Jisoo if Chaeyoung was still involved with Jennie.

“Sorry, I just wanted to look out for my friend. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“It’s not just that—you think Jennie is still sleeping with other people?”

Lisa never voiced that thought aloud, but it was a logical assumption. Jennie never said she meant anything by sleeping with her, she never implied that they were _exclusive_. Lisa thought she had never left her old habit. It happened with Chaeyoung, so it could very well apply to her in the exact same way. She would often feel angry, sad, and upset whenever the thought of Jennie being with other people crossed her mind, because even though she had gone through the stage where Jennie would bring people home, she never wanted to feel like one of her conquests. So as miserable as she looked in front of Chaeyoung, who had gone through it all multiple times, she nodded.

“Jennie stopped having casual sex partners for a while now, Lisa. I can’t say for sure, but I’m guessing since she started being with you.” Chaeyoung reached across the table and held Lisa’s trembling hand with her own. “Trust me on this, you’re not like me. Or like any other person in Jennie’s life. So that’s why I’m telling you to have a little faith, and wait for her. I know she confuses you, but I promise she will eventually realise what’s the right thing to do.”

“But I just don’t understand… what’s so bad about being in a committed relationship?”

Chaeyoung hesitated in answering, pursing her lips as she seemed to have an internal dilemma. She held her chin between her fingers as if she was about to give a lecture on rocket science.

“Lisa… how many times has your father remarried?”

“Once.”

“And, how long has it been since… since…” Chaeyoung was becoming uncomfortable, not wanting to touch a sensitive subject.

“Since my mother died?” Lisa finished off, not as concerned about the topic as Chaeyoung thought. “It’s been years, I was very little so I don’t remember much about her.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

Lisa had very few memories of her mother. Growing up with only her father, she was used to the absence of a mother figure. It wasn’t painful or tragic, it was just the only way Lisa ever knew. There were moments where she wondered how it felt to have a mum, but just having her dad’s support was enough. If anything, it’s her dad she thought about the most. It must have been hard to lose the love of his life. He stopped being present for a few years, and Lisa couldn’t blame him for needing someone by his side once again that wasn’t just his daughter.

“It’s okay.” Lisa reassured. She didn’t need people to pity her over something that didn’t affect her half as much as others.

“For Jennie…” Chaeyoung started, “it was really hard. Her dad just left one day and never came back.”

Lisa’s eyes softened. “I didn’t know that.”

“Not many people do. In fact, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but I think it’s the only way I can give you an explanation for Jennie’s behaviour.”

Chaeyoung leaned back on her chair and finished the last drops of her coffee. “As I was saying, Jennie didn’t take it very well. She was young, and alone with her mum. The first time, she was able to get through it and move on.”

“The first time?”

“Yeah. Before your father, Jennie’s mum remarried twice.”

Lisa opened her mouth to reply, but she had nothing to say. She started to get an idea of where Chaeyoung was getting to.

“Suffering not from one, but from three failed marriages can break a person. Jennie was always there for her mother, picking up the pieces that other men couldn’t put together. And each time it happened, she grew angrier and angrier. Every time her mum claimed she was in love, it was always temporary. Jennie witnessed many arguments and, well, other dark times.”

“So that’s why her view on relationships is…”

“Yeah,” Chaeyoung confirmed. “She tried dating before, and it was a disaster. So she gave up entirely. I’m not telling you this to excuse the way she’s acting, I just want you to understand her a little more before jumping to conclusions.”

It made sense. Jennie was guarding herself from the very beginning, hence why she never slept with the same person twice. She acted tough and cold, pushing away people that tried to get too close as a safety precaution. No one had power over her, no one could hurt her because she ensured she was untouchable. And Lisa? Lisa got to see through her. Even if they were small private moments, even if Jennie put her mask back on after each time, Lisa knew better. The question remained, for how long would the push and pull game go?

Lisa gripped her mug tightly between her hands, almost as if she needed the warmth to relax her nerves. “Does that mean she will never be with me… fully?”

“Oh Lisa, I can’t guarantee anything. All I know is that Jennie has been changing gradually since she met you, so if there’s anyone that could do it, it’s you.”

“I just don’t understand. You tried your best, you continued to chase her for a whole year and Jennie still didn’t give in. How can I be any better, I’m nothing in comparison to what you’ve been through!”

The doubts didn’t stop. Lisa wanted to try just as hard, but it was so frustrating to only have big question marks around her future with Jennie. She remained focused on Chaeyoung, expecting some kind of reassuring speech, but all she received was a defeated sigh. And for a moment, Lisa felt like she got it all wrong.

“What?”

“I didn’t try.”

“What are you talking about? You’ve been with her all this time,” Lisa rebutted.

“What I’m saying is, I never truly insisted. After she didn’t accept my feelings, I just did what was expected. When I had to leave, I left. When she didn’t want to stay, I didn’t stop her from walking away.”

“But that’s what she wanted.”

Chaeyoung laughed dryly. Then, she bit her lip and shook her head. She started tapping her fingers on the table, as if the noise was enough to keep her together.

“We don’t know that, do we? No one could tell what Jennie truly wanted, I just assumed. I spent so much time worrying about her leaving me that I never realised she was the one scared all along.”

“Jennie? Scared of what?”

“Of people walking out on _her_. Of people leaving and never coming back.”

“That’s bullshit, she’s the one that leaves!”

“Is she really?” Chaeyoung prompted. “Think about it carefully Lisa, every time you believe she’s going to leave, what happens after?”

“She…”

Lisa thought about it. After they argued the first time, Jennie left. On many occasions, after the two of them had sex, Jennie left. And most recently, when Jennie apologised for that one night, she left.

And then, she remembered.

The time when Jennie was on the verge of crying, telling her _I’m sorry_ for—

“…she always comes back.” Lisa stared at Chaeyoung with wide eyes, the realisation finally settling in. How did she not come to that conclusion before?

The night of the argument, Jennie could have easily stayed out with Chaeyoung, but instead she came back home. After nervously telling her that _it won’t happen again,_ a week later she returned. Heck, even on her birthday she tried to stay away, only to give into what she really wanted a few hours later.

 _I’m sorry I keep coming back._ Jennie told her clearly, and Lisa had been so used to mixed signals that she missed the most obvious sign. No matter how many times Jennie tried to get away, Lisa always saw her coming back to her every single time. All along, the blonde had been certain that Jennie’s struggle was to stay, when in reality she had been trying to keep her distance and failing to do so over and over again.

Her hand started to shake as she brought it up to cover her mouth in shock. Chaeyoung just watched, waiting for Lisa to accept what she put together.

“So it never was me,” the blonde breathed out at last, and Chaeyoung gave her a short nod in return.

“It took me too long to realise. I should have known she was doubting herself, I should have seen her fear of not being able to love someone right. If only I had,” she paused, taking a deep breath. “Maybe I could have had a better chance if only I had given Jennie the reassurance she needed. We kept seeing each other for more than a year, I should have known it wasn’t just me that wanted more.”

Lisa couldn’t speak. She had complained so many times about chasing aimlessly, when truthfully, she had never needed to. Jennie was right there, with her. She was just not stepping closer.

“Obviously, it’s already too late for us. But you?”

Lisa bit her lip. She wanted it. She really wanted them to make it. “I still have a chance.”

All she needed to do was to make Jennie trust her intentions. No chasing, no moping, no longing. Lisa needed to make Jennie feel just how much she cared. The changes were already evident, Jennie was finally starting to get comfortable. There was nothing stopping Lisa from investing her time and patience one more time, especially now that she felt like she truly could reach Jennie’s heart.

“Thank you for trusting me with her story.”

Chaeyoung just smiled. “It’s not me. I know Jennie would trust you enough to tell you, I’m just speeding up the process. It took her a few months and a lot of alcohol for her to share it with me, I can’t let you slip away from her just because she’s stubborn like that.”

Lisa hummed. “I won’t be going anywhere. And also, I don’t know how to thank you for helping me like this, I really would have been lost without your guidance.”

“You don’t owe me anything, really. Just don’t give up on Jennie for a little longer, I’m sure she needs that now more than ever.”

Lisa couldn’t help herself. She stood up and approached the girl opposite her, engulfing her in a tight hug. Chaeyoung awkwardly tapped the younger girl’s back, not really expecting the affectionate gesture.

“Thank you so, so much. If you ever need my help for whatever reason, give me a call.”

Chaeyoung laughed lightly as they parted, shaking her head amused. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

It was already late, their meeting had lasted longer than Lisa planned. Realising the time, Lisa quickly said her goodbyes and paid for their drinks, ignoring Chaeyoung’s protests. Just as she was about to leave, Chaeyoung called her back.

“Actually, I do need help with something!”

Lisa stopped moving and gave the taller blonde her full attention.

“I just wanted to ask, for future reference... does Jisoo know how to ride a bike?”

Lisa crossed her arms and tapped her chin as if she was in deep thought. In reality, she already knew what her answer would be.

“You know what? I actually think she has always wanted to learn. I cycle on a regular basis but I never got to teach her, so I’m sure she’ll love going on a ride with you!”

“Oh my god, that’s perfect!” Chaeyoung smiled widely, probably planning the perfect date already.

Lisa silently prayed that Jisoo wouldn’t puncture her bicycle tyres.

\----

It was _really_ late. Not as in past-midnight late, but Lisa should had definitely been home earlier. She wanted to return before Jennie, just so she could act like she had not been suspiciously out for hours without giving the girl any notice.

When she reached her house, Lisa opened the door as quietly as possible, glad to see that the lights were off. She took off her shoes and left them on the side, making silent steps towards the dark living room.

The sun had set, there was nothing that helped Lisa navigate through pitch darkness. She had to turn on the lights if she didn’t want to slip and break her bones. She didn’t really have a choice.

When she turned the switch on, Lisa finally noticed that she was not alone.

The blonde was standing behind the couch, but she could see Jennie sitting there with her head facing forward. She was very still. For a moment, Lisa didn’t say a word and held her breath. She didn’t know if Jennie was waiting for her to speak up, but she didn’t turn around even after Lisa stepped closer.

“Jennie?”

The blonde didn’t receive a reply, and that worried her. She slowly walked around the couch, hoping that Jennie wasn’t mad about her leaving without telling her. They were at a stage where it was normal for them to share their whereabouts, Lisa knew her disappearance must have confused Jennie. When she finally stood right in front of the seated girl and looked down at her, Lisa smiled.

Jennie had her arms crossed, a blanket covering her knees. She was wearing a casual shirt with a pair of shorts, meaning that she had already been home for a while. But what made Lisa’s insides melt though were the soft snores that came from Jennie. Her head was tilted downwards at a very awkward angle, and her eyes were shut, probably not perceiving the lighter surroundings.

Lisa crouched down in front of the sleeping girl, reaching out to untangle her loosely crossed arms. The motion caused Jennie to jump slightly, her eyes fluttering open as she sat up straighter. She looked disoriented for a few seconds, but Lisa gently stroking the top of her hand helped her focus.

“Sorry, you didn’t look comfortable sleeping here.” Lisa kept her voice low, while Jennie groaned and massaged the back of her neck with the hand that the blonde wasn’t holding.

“I wasn’t really planning to sleep on the couch.” Jennie’s voice was still hoarse, and Lisa liked it a bit too much. “I didn’t know you went out.”

“It was a last minute thing, I forgot to text you.”

“That’s okay.” Jennie finished stretching and finally looked fully awake. “Where did you go?”

Lisa felt bad. She couldn’t tell Jennie who she actually met, but she really didn’t want to lie. Not when Jennie had been trying so hard to keep their communication going.

“I met up with a friend.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either.

However, Jennie only furrowed her brows. “The friend from… the other day?”

 _Of course_. Lisa needed to really think before she spoke. Right after Chaeyoung told her Jennie was doubting herself, Lisa made her think she was seeing other people.

“No, no, it was someone else. It was nothing serious, just a friendly hang out. That’s all.”

“Okay.” Jennie nodded, not making eye-contact. Before Lisa could further reassure her, the brunette stood up and fixed her shirt, stepping away from her initial spot.

Lisa also stood up straight, waiting to see Jennie’s next move. However, Jennie didn’t seem bothered anymore. She looked back at Lisa innocently, any trace of jealousy gone.

“You must be tired. Did you eat dinner? Do you want me to make you something?” She vaguely gestured towards the kitchen behind. “I was going to cook anyways, I haven’t eaten yet.”

She hadn’t eaten because she had been waiting. _Waiting for me,_ Lisa concluded. Jennie had turned around ready to head into the kitchen, just missing the sight of Lisa’s grateful smile. Before Jennie could get too far, Lisa fast walked towards her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. She held the shorter girl tightly, ensuring that Jennie’s back was completely pressed against her front.

Lisa couldn’t see Jennie’s reaction, but she could feel her body relax into the embrace. Lisa buried her face into Jennie’s neck, closing her eyes at the comforting warmth.

“I missed you.”

Jennie probably wouldn’t fully understand what Lisa meant, but she still wanted to say it. Lisa missed being with Jennie and seeing her being affectionate. She had missed her caring side. She had missed coming home and _feeling_ like she was home.

Jennie slowly brought her hands up to hold Lisa’s forearms, and Lisa could feel her trembling slightly.

“I…”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just let me stay like this. Just for a little while.” Lisa pressed her lips to Jennie’s jaw, still not letting go.

Jennie didn’t pull away, but she didn’t say anything for a few moments. Lisa didn’t need her to, but she could sense that there was a slight change in Jennie’s usual reaction. She was more open, more willing to show what she really felt. But even after realising that, Lisa was still surprised to hear Jennie’s next words. They were quiet and shy, but Lisa still heard as if Jennie had shouted them.

“I missed you too.”

\-----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well there we go, we got a little insight into jennie's past. 
> 
> i will try to update again this weekend to celebrate the release of Ice Cream, until then stay well everyone!
> 
> please leave kudos, comments, anything


	10. ten

Days after the meeting with Chaeyoung, Lisa felt like she was in a heavenly-like atmosphere. Jennie was with her most of the time, and although she had not explicitly said they were exclusive, Lisa knew that it was only her that Jennie was keeping up at night. It was temporary bliss to act like she was Jennie’s girlfriend.

Not having a label didn’t make anything they had less real, but it did give Lisa a sense of uncertainty. She knew it was greedy to want everything to fall into place so soon, but Lisa couldn’t avoid fearing the possibility of Jennie going back to her old ways if she didn’t do something to bring out the side in her that wasn’t afraid of love. Perhaps Lisa was being too paranoid, but there was no other reaction she could have to Jennie avoiding the relationship topic.

However, talking to Chaeyoung definitely made her feel more positive about making progress. Jennie never clearly spoke about what she felt for Lisa, but there was no doubt that it wasn’t just physical need. Lisa would feel it in her touch, in her gestures, and as cheesy and cliché as she could sound, Jennie’s cat-like eyes never lied. Jennie would give her certain looks sometimes, looks that spoke louder than any words she could utter. And since she started to become more clingy and affectionate, Lisa didn’t have any complaint for the time being.

Dating would not be the appropriate term to describe whatever Jennie and Lisa had going. Although they had gone way past the process of getting to know each other’s bodies and knowing what made them feel good, they had never properly gone out together just for the sake of _being_ together. If Jennie did invite her to go somewhere, there was always another purpose she would use as an excuse. Grocery shopping, taking Kuma for a walk, anything and everything. It was almost irritating how the brunette could never get her words out plain and simple. If she wanted to take Lisa out on a date, she’d just have to say the words and Lisa would accept in a heartbeat. She was, after all, still young and in need of basic romancing. A date wouldn’t have to be explicitly _called_ a date per se, Lisa just wanted Jennie to tell her that she enjoyed spending time together and, well, do more of that. They were already acting like a couple, Lisa only needed Jennie to acknowledge it and accept her. But once again, Lisa didn’t want to pressure Jennie into anything and make her feel like she wasn’t doing enough. She just needed to be patient and let Jennie work things out slowly on her own. They weren’t in a perfect relationship, but Lisa was already happy enough that Jennie was getting closer and closer to her.

Lisa didn’t want to get her hopes up too high, but she had a feeling that Jennie was slowly giving in. Not that she wasn’t already making an effort before, but in the recent days she had started to become more open to the idea of holding conversations that went beyond simple small talk (and dirty talk).

Before sex came into the equation, Jennie used to occasionally ask about Lisa’s life. They were basic questions about childhood, school, hobbies, and general preferences. The usual discussion that helped two people get to know each other. Back then, it was all pretty innocent and Lisa didn’t really feel the need to analyse the reasons behind each question.

Now that they were more deeply involved, emotionally and physically, the questions became a little more personal.

“Are you glad that your dad married again?”

The sudden question startled Lisa. At the time, they had just finished giving one other mind-blowing orgasms throughout the night, and Lisa had expected Jennie to fall asleep right after without saying another word. They were lying on either side of Lisa’s bed, their shoulders barely touching. Jennie was staring at the ceiling, her eyes unfocused.

Hearing the brunette’s voice, Lisa turned her head slightly to observe Jennie’s expression as they spoke. “Why do you ask?”

Jennie shrugged. “Curiosity.”

If Lisa had never spoken to Chaeyoung, she would have believed Jennie’s nonchalant excuse with no doubt. But now, it was easy to assume that she wanted to compare their views on their parents moving on. Jennie didn’t believe that it was possible for relationships to last, it was what she concluded from her mother’s marriages. Lisa wanted to show her that not all second chances were meant for heartbreak. 

“He deserved to find someone, I wouldn’t want him to be alone all his life just because he lost my mum. Even if he hasn’t been the most caring father at all times, I still wish him happiness. Who am I to stop him from trying?” Turning her body towards Jennie, she propped herself up with one elbow. “I never thought he’d find love again, and I can’t deny that I was sceptical about this change but... it was just meant to happen. I’m glad it was your mother though.”

Jennie’s eyes darted from the ceiling to Lisa’s loving gaze. “Yeah?”

Lisa hummed in agreement. “I wouldn’t have met you otherwise.”

“I’m sure your life would have been just fine without me,” Jennie scoffed, almost as a scolding to herself.

Lisa’s free hand moved across the space between them, and she gently let her thumb run over Jennie’s bottom lip. It wasn’t hard to tell that Jennie was insecure. Not only in this context, but in her life overall. She took too many precautions, never getting the reassurance she actually needed. And if there was one thing Lisa wanted to do, in whichever way possible, was to make Jennie feel like she belonged.

Jennie’s orbs widened in surprise seeing that Lisa face came to hover just above hers in a matter of seconds.

“I like it better with you in it.”

Without waiting for Jennie’s reply, Lisa leaned down and captured her lips. Lisa was never in a hurry when they kissed. She liked to savour every second of it, and when Jennie let her take over, Lisa made sure not to waste her chance.

It was peaceful. Almost _too_ peaceful to last.

Due the distraction that Jennie Kim’s body was, Lisa had forgotten to tell her that she had been the only person she had slept with. And even though Chaeyoung had specifically told her to, Lisa didn’t think she meant that she should do it so soon. Lisa knew she was being selfish, but could you blame her for wanting to enjoy her time with Jennie a little longer without any more drama? It wasn’t really a problem. The two girls had enjoyed plenty of intimate moments, and Lisa had soon forgotten how a sexless life was like. When they were so comfortable in each other’s arms, when Jennie’s lips traced every inch of Lisa’s skin, it was easy to ignore the rest of the world. The sex was good, or better, _Jennie_ made her feel really good. Whether it was in the bedroom, the kitchen, or the shower, Jennie always made sure that Lisa’s needs were taken care of. So in all honesty, Lisa didn’t feel like ruining their time together just because she had omitted a little piece of information.

\---

Ironically, life really had its way to kill the mood.

Lisa’s moments of bliss had gone because of _exam season_. Jennie was busy with her studies, having passed days into her room getting work done. That also meant that her sex drive wasn’t the same. Not only did Lisa have to get through her days with minimal affection from Jennie, she also couldn’t spend the night with the older girl because she was too tired and drained of energy to do anything besides sleeping. Lisa didn’t want to sound needy but she missed their intimacy greatly. It had become so familiar, something that gave her comfort under any circumstances. And yet, in a matter of days Jennie had been stolen from her by a bunch of exams. Of course, Lisa couldn’t really blame Jennie for anything. The girl was clearly stressed and under a lot of pressure. She was constantly surrounded by books and post-it notes, going over content and doing further reading.

It was almost painful to see her in student-mode, but at the same time also quite wonderful. Lisa could spend hours watching Jennie’s serious expressions when she was concentrating hard, it was yet another one of her attractive traits. Regardless of this, Lisa couldn’t tell if the girl was taking the breaks that she deserved. It seemed that she had temporarily isolated herself from any kind of distraction, Lisa included.

Anyone could tell that it wasn’t the healthiest choice to ignore the need for rest. Jennie had always been down for a day out away from responsibilities, and Lisa never imagined that her studies could hold her down for so long. She almost felt like a completely different person, but Lisa knew that deep down all she needed to let loose was, obviously, a good distraction.

Going out on a date was out of the question. Jennie would dismiss her proposal before she even tried, firstly because the term _date_ was super-scary-forbidden, and secondly because she didn’t have the time nor energy during this pressuring time. And still, Lisa wanted to try and have a little special moment with her very special not-girlfriend. The situation was too similar to the first time Lisa had seen Jennie worn out and sleeping on the couch, and the subsequent pasta disaster. Except this time, her intentions had changed drastically. Instead of just being nice, Lisa wanted to please Jennie and make her feel that she was cared for. She wanted her to stop being stubborn and realise that Lisa was right beside her, willing to make her happy and look after her.

Lisa didn’t think it would take long to persuade Jennie. After all, she was an expert in getting Jennie’s attention.

\----

It turned out that distracting Jennie Kim during exam season was a much harder task than what it initially seemed.

The first time she tried, Lisa offered to go and grab something to eat together. It was nothing out of the ordinary, just a good way to help Jennie gain the strength she needed without having to waste her energy in preparing the meals. The blonde was certain that Jennie couldn’t turn down the chance to leave the house.

“There’s no need, I’m just gonna cook.”

It soon became clear that Jennie wasn’t really good at taking hints. Lisa could scream I WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU at the top of her lungs and Jennie would still be clueless.

“Yeah but don’t you get tired of that?”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind it. No need to go out for what we already have at home.”

They had instant ramen at home.

\----

The second time, Kuma was Lisa’s partner in crime.

If there was anyone that could get Jennie’s undivided attention at any time of the day was the little ball of brown fur. Logically, Kuma was the best option to get a reaction out of the brunette. Lisa knew that there was not much she could do if Jennie didn’t want to cooperate, but there was nothing wrong in trying.

“Hey buddy!” The blonde lifted up the fluffy dog and held him in front of her, making dramatic eye contact. “You are the only one that can save our Jennie. I’m trusting you, Kuku.”

She then brought him back to the floor and let him run to his pretty owner. Jennie was at her desk, drawing and sketching nonstop in her room. The small dog pushed through the semi-opened door and happily walked towards the working girl, with Lisa watching carefully from the corridor.

When Kuma nudged Jennie’s feet, the brunette looked down and smiled at the affectionate dog. She reached down and patted his head, but what caught her interest was the ribbon tied loosely around his neck, and the rolled piece of paper that it was keeping together. She curiously turned to face the door, and when Lisa’s eyes met Jennie’s, the blonde gave her a sheepish smile.

Taking the message out from the ribbon without much hesitation, Jennie unrolled it and read what Lisa had written.

_Cinema?_

At first, Jennie just raised her eyebrows amused and stared at the word. Then, she faced Lisa once again and held up the piece of paper. “What’s this?”

Lisa shrugged. “Well, a question?”

The blonde knew that Jennie loved the cinema, she figured that watching a movie in a dark and silent space would be a relaxing activity that Jennie would really enjoy.

“You know I can’t right now.”

“What about tonight?” Lisa insisted.

“Probably not, sorry. You can still go though, don’t let me stop you. I know it’s boring to stay home.”

“No… I just wanted—nevermind,” Lisa ran a hand through her hair, sighing in defeat. “Sorry about the interruption.”

Jennie still didn’t realise that Lisa was not doing it for herself. She was actually fine while Jennie was merely pretending to be. All Lisa wanted was to make sure Jennie was healthy and responsible with the amount of time she spent studying. She couldn’t stand seeing Jennie living like a ghost, all for a few exams. Lisa also had her finals in a few months, but high school was not that big of a deal to her. It was nothing compared to what Jennie was going through. No matter how much she tried to distract her, Jennie was not giving herself a break.

\---

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Jennie wasn’t eating properly. Sometimes she skipped meals, and the food she ate was not as healthy as before. And even though she tried to hide it from Lisa, the blonde had seen Jennie pour herself any kind of alcoholic drink in the middle of the night to help her sleep. Staying up late and waking up early was the _worst_ combination.

Every now and then, when Lisa watched Jennie sigh and groan at her desk after spending long hours working, the blonde would ask her if she needed anything. Jennie always replied with ‘I’m okay’ and not to worry.

Jennie was most definitely _not_ okay.

It wasn’t like Lisa had not tried to help. She offered multiple times to order nutritious food from multiple restaurants, just so Jennie wouldn’t have to worry about cooking in the fastest way possible, which was what resulted in too many unhealthy meals in the first place. But sadly, Jennie would insist that she was good and tell Lisa to just get food for herself. The blonde would always leave some for Jennie, she knew the brunette needed it. Or better, her body definitely did.

But it wasn’t enough.

The main cause of all these issues was the stress. Jennie was too tense, and not thinking about her wellbeing. Studies were important, yes, but looking after herself should have been a bigger priority. She wasn’t seeing her friends, she wasn’t getting enough sunlight or fresh air. And as much as Lisa hated them, even the trash parties were a better option than spending the whole day and night immersed in textbooks. When their parents called, Lisa had to pretend that everything was going well and that she was being a good _sister_ by not bothering Jennie too much. Needless to say she wasn’t a big fan of those phone calls.

There was only one way Lisa could help Jennie loosen up without much argument, and it was about time she took action. It would be the first time that she tried to do something so bold, but for Jennie she’d take the risk.

It was late night, Jennie’s lights had been off for a while. Lisa simply waited until she was sure that Jennie was in bed, and in a half-asleep state. She knew that there was no way the brunette was going to be fully asleep any time soon.

It was time.

Lisa left her room and silently made her way into Jennie’s dark bedroom. The windows let in enough moonlight to help Lisa make out Jennie’s sleeping form. The blanket only covered her up to the waist, and her body was turned towards the wall, meaning that Lisa had a clear view of her back.

Similarly to what Jennie did on the night after her birthday, Lisa lifted the side of the blanket and fit herself behind Jennie, hugging her middle. She couldn’t tell if Jennie was awake enough to sense her, but it didn’t really matter. Carefully, Lisa pushed one of her knees between Jennie’s legs. The hand that was wrapped around Jennie’s waist sneakily lifted up her shirt, allowing Lisa to stroke the girl’s abdomen.

Jennie stirred. She didn’t open her eyes but her back pressed firmly against Lisa’s front, unconsciously making herself comfortable into Lisa’s arms. Lisa continued to touch above the waistband of Jennie’s shorts, making sure to be gentle. Her hands were not as warm as Jennie’s body, and so Lisa spent a few minutes simply tracing patterns on the brunette’s stomach. While caressing and softly scratching her skin, Lisa pressed her lips onto Jennie’s exposed neckline.

When she heard Jennie sigh, Lisa slid her hand into Jennie’s bottoms, not wanting to waste time. Lisa knew the brunette wasn’t going to be wet enough, so she started her movements slow and steady, rubbing around Jennie’s clit to stimulate her. Lisa could feel the thighs around her knee pressing together, and finally she heard a sharp intake of breath coming from the girl.

By the time her movements started to become more confident, Jennie was more than aware of Lisa’s presence.

“What are you doing?” Jennie’s hoarse voice only made Lisa snuggle closer.

“I think it’s pretty clear,” the blonde whispered against Jennie’s ear, kissing the side of her head as her fingers reached lower.

Jennie’s hand suddenly grabbed onto Lisa’s forearm. “You don’t have to—“

“Let me take care of you. Please.”

Jennie didn’t make any further complaint and let go of her arm, Lisa took it as a silent approval.

Without hesitation, Lisa started to rub along Jennie’s wet folds, providing enough friction to elicit a low moan from the brunette. In her just-woken state, Jennie opted to keep her eyes shut and be entirely taken by the pleasure of Lisa’s careful touches. The blonde had easy access to Jennie’s opening, and the older girl was certainly enjoying the attention. It wasn’t going to take long at all.

Returning to the most sensitive point, Lisa’s strokes grew bolder and faster. Jennie’s hips pushed back against Lisa, not having much to hold onto in that position.

“Fucking hell, Lisa.”

It had been so, _so_ long.

Lisa had been craving Jennie’s touch for days, but Jennie needed this much more.

Turning onto her back, Jennie spread her legs and placed her hand above Lisa’s, urging her to continue. Lisa kept adding pressure gradually on her clit, listening to Jennie’s breathy gasps as she pushed her head back into the pillow below her.

“It’s okay, I got you, just let go for me.”

And so Jennie did. One prolonged groan filled the room as Jennie’s back arched above the mattress, her hand gripping Lisa’s arm tightly as she came. It was quick and intense, enough to make Jennie feel drained and leave her body lying motionless. She stared wide-eyed at the ceiling, her chest rising and falling as she took deep breaths.

On her part, Lisa removed her hand completely from the Jennie’s shorts and climbed on top of her, leaning down and peppering her face with short kisses.

“How do you feel?”

Jennie laughed softly, enclosing Lisa’s face between her palms and kissing her full lips. “Better than ever.”

“I’m glad.”

Before Jennie even got the chance to turn them over, Lisa trapped her body between her legs, looking down at confused eyes and shaking her head.

“This is not about me.”

“Isn’t this why you came here?”

Once again, Lisa shook her head. “No. Jennie… I’m worried.”

“About what?”

“You.”

Eyebrows furrowing, Jennie lifted herself up on her elbows and looked closer at Lisa’s concerned expression. “I’m fine. Where’s the issue?”

Jennie’s stare could be intimidating at times, making Lisa drop onto her side and lie next to her. Jennie followed her movements, their faces being only inches apart.

“You’re not fine. You’re not taking care of yourself properly.”

“And what makes you say that, exactly?” Jennie wasn’t making accusations or being cold, her eyes were unexpectedly warm.

“I know you’re older than me and, well, probably wiser. But… lately you’ve been spending all your time studying and you’re always by yourself – and I’m _not_ saying you don’t spend time with me because your degree is more important and I’m not a whiney teenager so I swear it’s _fine_ but anyways – It’s not only your social life that worries me, you’ve only been eating junk food for so many days and you don’t sleep and sometimes you start drinking in the middle of the night— NOT that I was spying or anything I jus—“

“Lisa.”

Only once she stopped talking did the blonde realise that she was out of breath. Jennie was not giving anything away, her expression remained neutral.

“You’re rambling. Slow down, okay?”

Nodding, Lisa continued. “I guess, what I’m trying to say is that… I’m here.”

Chances were that Jennie didn’t understand a word that she said, but somehow Lisa felt the older girl’s hand touch her cheek, rubbing comforting circles.

“If you don’t want to cook, you don’t have to. I’ll deal with the meals. If you have trouble with sleeping then… well, you know that one.”

Jennie just smiled weakly.

“I want you to stop doing everything on your own. There’s nothing wrong with relying on the people that care about you.”

It felt good to let out all her concerns. Lisa didn’t really plan on revealing her observations so soon, but she should have known more than anyone that talking was vital in getting her message across. Jennie wasn’t saying anything, but the blonde could see that she was thinking. Lisa had to admit that she feared the possibility of being kicked out of the bed for being so honest.

“Listen,” Jennie started, her voice was barely above a whisper. Due to their close proximity, Lisa had no problem hearing every word. “I know I’m not the easiest person to deal with. It’s just… the way I am. The only way I’ve known.”

A sigh, a dubious look, the slight hesitation. Lisa thought it was the end. Jennie was going to tell her she wasn’t going to change. That _they_ won’t change. It was a split second thought, but Lisa felt scared nonetheless.

“And then there’s you.”

“Me?”

“Hmm,” Jennie hummed softly. “When you talk to me like that… I get the illusion that maybe—maybe being alone is not enough, you know? That maybe, I should give up and not fight it anymore. I’m just worried that trusting people will backfire on me.”

And yet again, Lisa got to hear the thoughts of Jennie’s vulnerable heart. Her hand was trembling, her eyes focused on Lisa and Lisa only. The last time she spoke of anything close to her feelings was the night of her birthday, when Lisa gave her the necklace. Lisa will never stop being amazed by it. Hearing Jennie being so open, without overthinking about what’s going to happen next.

“I’m not saying you should trust anyone that walks past. Just me, at least. I want to take care of you, if you’d let me.”

There wasn’t much else to say. Lisa knew that it was too much for the older girl. She only wanted Jennie to be able to fall asleep with a relaxed body. The late-night pillow talk was not meant to happen, but Lisa was glad it did. Eventually, she’ll make sure Jennie will never feel alone again.

And so, with the talking out of the way, Lisa and Jennie made out lazily until they both fell asleep. And for the first time in a while, Jennie slept through the night.

\-----

“Lisa.”

“…”

“Lisa.”

The blonde only made a noise of disapproval. She didn’t feel like moving a muscle.

“Get up.”

“Hmm.”

Blinking her eyes open, Lisa squinted to make her vision less blurry. When she could make out a smiling Jennie inches away from her, she suddenly got the motivation to start the day. The sight was rather angelic.

“What time is it?”

“A little past ten a.m., I think. Breakfast is ready.”

Jennie was sitting on the edge of the bed, one arm on the other side of Lisa’s body. Taking in her words, the blonde nodded weakly.

“Wait.” In a second, she was sitting up with a look of panic. “I had school today!”

Frankly speaking, the thought of missing school wasn’t even that concerning. The real issue was the annoying phone call that her father had probably received in the morning when Lisa didn’t show up to class. She really wanted to avoid another lecture on the importance of attendance and the bad reputation she was going to build up by skipping lessons and all that responsible parent crap.

“You did. Hence why I called in earlier.”

Lisa glanced at the much calmer brunette, confusion clear in her dumbfounded expression.

“I knew you wouldn’t wake up, so I called up saying you were in a state of _unbearable_ pain and that you would have probably thrown up if you got out of bed. I also made sure to emphasise your insistence in getting all your work emailed as you were _so eager_ to catch up with all of your missed classes.”

The extra dramatic narrative combined with Jennie’s serious appearance were enough to make Lisa snort, and then break out in a full laugh.

“You did this before, didn’t you?”

“Absolutely.”

\-----

At last, Jennie had been persuaded.

Lisa didn’t know if it was the late night sex surprise or the heart-to-heart talk afterwards, but the older girl had stopped acting like she had it all under control.

For starters, on the day they both had skipped their respective classes, Lisa had taken Jennie to a restaurant for lunch. The brunette didn’t even put up a fight, she just followed Lisa’s directions and drove them to their destination.

It wasn’t anything too fancy, just a quiet place with food that was actually going to get them through the day. Jennie wasn’t usually a fast eater, but she basically devoured her meal. Just like Lisa thought, the girl had been needing proper food. She was happy to see her eating so well.

“I’m guessing it’s good?”

Jennie nodded repeatedly, her mouth full. She was absolutely adorable.

“See? Good food makes everything better.”

Lisa watched as Jennie swallowed and picked up her glass of water, drinking it also very quickly. She wiped her mouth with a napkin and let out a big sigh of satisfaction.

“That was _amazing,_ we should eat out more often.”

There. A hint to a future. Lisa didn’t know how to take it anymore. They weren’t dates, but they weren’t simply hanging out either. However, watching Jennie smile widely without any trace of stress made Lisa forget about all of her doubts. She was happy.

“Did you ever have step-siblings before?” the blonde blurted out suddenly.

Lisa didn’t really know where the thought came from, but she couldn’t stop herself from wondering if Jennie had been in the same situation during her mother’s previous marriages. She wanted to know if there had been someone else that tried to get past Jennie’s walls just as much as Lisa did. Or better, if that someone managed to successfully win Jennie’s heart over.

Although a bit thrown off by the unexpected question, Jennie kept her calm composure. “Once. He was older than me.”

“Were you close?”

“We were friendly, I guess.”

“So you—you guys were not, like, you know…” Lisa made weird gestures with her hands, hoping to get the message across without having to actually say it out loud.

Jennie smirked and crossed her arms on the table, leaning forward and staring at a flustered Lisa. “I didn’t sleep with him, if that’s what you’re asking.”

The blonde looked away embarrassed, but she smiled shyly as Jennie chuckled at her reaction. Lisa was glad that they could freely have a conversation about personal topics to the point of teasing each other.

“That’s good,” Lisa replied quietly, to which Jennie nodded reassuringly. “So… do you still talk to him or?”

Jennie’s smile disappeared and her lips formed a thin line. Lisa immediately realised she had stepped into sensitive territory. Jennie didn’t answer immediately, but when she did her eyes didn’t meet Lisa’s.

“No.” Jennie shrugged stiffly. “I don’t like the idea of getting attached to something temporary.”

Lisa had learnt to see through Jennie enough to know that the thought of this person made her upset. There were too many scenarios that Lisa could think of regarding Jennie’s relationship with her past step-brother, but there wasn’t really a point in frying her brain when she didn’t know anything about him. They probably used to be close, but Jennie just left without turning back.

 _What about me?_ Lisa wanted to ask. She was also her step-sister, so technically she could also be temporary. 

And yet Jennie was there, with her. She was listening to Lisa and complying with her requests. She was making an effort to stay by her side. She was answering her questions and opening up about her past. So for the sake of not ruining their progress, Lisa let the talk shift elsewhere.

\----

For the rest of the day Lisa, didn’t bother Jennie. Since the older girl spent the morning with her and away from her studies, Lisa thought it was fair to not disturb her during the afternoon. She let her study clothes… or whatever fashion design majors did. Unlike the times where she’d lock herself in her room, Jennie allowed Lisa to come in and check up on her. Lisa didn’t abuse her privilege, she only interrupted Jennie for a minute or two before going downstairs to mind her own business.

At one point, she had popped in to see Jennie as she worked at her desk. The girl didn’t even notice her approaching until Lisa left a cup of coffee beside her. She jumped a little but thanked her right after she received the drink.

Looking over the seated girl’s shoulder, Lisa’s eyes widened at the sight of Jennie’s sketches. She gripped the edge of the desk with her arms on either side of Jennie, her chin just about touching her shoulder.

“Wow,” she breathed.

Jennie glanced her way surprised, not expecting Lisa to actually ever look at her work that closely.

“What do you think?” she gestured towards the multiple drawings scattered over her desk.

“They’re really pretty.” Lisa was genuinely amazed. She couldn’t make any professional comments because she was clueless about the fashion world, but Jennie’s talent was more than evident.

Jennie turned her head and pressed a kiss on Lisa’s cheek. “Thank you.”

It was so… intimate. They had done way beyond kisses on the cheek, but Lisa loved the spontaneous nature behind the gesture. It wasn’t that significant, and at the same time it was. Jennie didn’t hesitate, she just showed her affection casually whenever she wanted to. She was comfortable around her. Lisa really, really liked it.

\-----

“Hey, want to watch something?”

Jennie had just finished eating dinner after being stuck in her room for most of the afternoon. Lisa couldn’t help but notice that she looked extremely tired even though she ate and had proper rest. It would take some time for her body to adapt to the changes, so Lisa thought it’d be nice to offer something relaxing to end the day.

But Jennie declined politely, her voice sleepy and apologetic at the same time. She was already on her way to the stairs. Lisa didn’t mind, she just wished she could have stolen a few more moments with Jennie before they went to bed to make sure she was actually doing well.

“That’s okay. Get some sleep.”

Seeing Lisa’s sad smile, Jennie approached the girl sat in front of the TV and leaned down, holding the blonde’s face softly and pressing a firm kiss on her parted lips. “Sorry, I’ll make it up to you.”

Regardless of the initial shock, Lisa welcomed Jennie’s caring gesture. She didn’t think that the brunette would have been worried about disappointing her, being close to Jennie was enough to keep Lisa satisfied.

Lisa’s hands came up to hold the older girl’s waist, and she shook her head as she looked up into tired eyes.

“Don’t worry,” she whispered against her mouth. “You already have.”

Pulling Jennie down and onto her lap, Lisa held her closely and connected their mouths into a messy kiss. The supressed need from the night before made Lisa more desperate for any sort of physical touch. She felt the urge to taste more, moving her lips down and along Jennie’s neck as her head rested against Lisa’s shoulder, allowing her to continue. The blonde sucked and teased Jennie’s sensitive spots, gently biting and marking her skin.

However, Jennie’s moans were more toned down than usual. It didn’t take long for Lisa to notice that the brunette’s movements were getting sloppier, until they gradually stopped completely. Confused, Lisa turned her head slightly to the side.

Jennie’s eyes were shut, and her breathing steady.

Of course, Lisa was still very turned on. But the sight of Jennie falling asleep upon her shoulder made her smile lovingly—her heart felt so light. It didn’t matter if they didn’t end up doing anything, she was content with the feeling of Jennie in her arms.

Lisa kissed Jennie’s forehead tenderly.

She thought about being heroic and carrying the sleeping girl upstairs, but chances were that her arms would give up and send them both flying down the stairs. So she remained seated, leaning the side of her head against Jennie’s.

And eventually, she fell asleep to the sound of Jennie’s slow breathing.

\---

The morning after, Lisa woke up on the couch alone. But somehow, she was lying down comfortably, and her neck didn’t hurt at all from the weird position she fell asleep in. She glanced around disorientated, not seeing any sign of Jennie. Sitting up, she felt a thin blanket fall down and fold over her lap, one that definitely wasn’t there the night before. And when she looked to her side, she was surprised by the sight of a full breakfast laid out on the small table in front of her, neatly organised with cutlery and a glass of orange juice resting on the corner. Jennie’s work for sure. Lisa was so amazed that she almost didn’t notice the note with her name written on top, but she immediately picked it up when she recognised the handwriting.

_Good morning, Lisa._   
_I have gone out to meet Rosie. See you this afternoon._   
_J._

It was short and straightforward, but Lisa grinned regardless.

In hindsight, she really should have paid more attention to the ‘ _meet Rosie_ ’ part.

\------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the fluffiest chapter so far and it still has complications, but oh well! 
> 
> I remember saying that I would have updated to celebrate Ice Cream, so let's talk about that, shall we?  
> I'll be honest, I woke up at 5 a.m. for the release and oh dear did the lyrics make me cringe from start to end. I never thought I'd hear so many sexual innuendos about ice cream in such a short time, and the song structure felt kinda messy, but given the production team, it is what it is. The MV was super pretty though, and you could see that all the girls worked very hard on it!
> 
> Moving on to what looks like a blinks war. The line distribution is an absolute joke and we should all acknowledge that, but I never thought I'd see such opposing views! I genuinely think that as fans, we have the right to speak out when something is upsetting as long we're being respectful about it. Jisoo being the lead vocalist and getting lines that are less than ten seconds is clearly not right, but what's even worse is blaming the other members or selena for it. At the end of the day, being disappointed doesn't make you a bad blink just like forcing everyone to "be thankful" and "stop complaining" doesn't make you a good blink. Let's keep an open mind and understand each other's viewpoints without hurting anyone. 
> 
> I've only seen the arguments on instagram, so I can't speak for anything going on in other platforms. Please share your thoughts on this comeback because I'm still trying to get informed about the different issues that have surfaced.  
> What do you think of the song? The lyrics? The music video? (The album having four versions and making us all broke?)
> 
> oh, also please comment about this chapter too, i got a bit carried away.
> 
> As always, be kind, be respectful, stay safe and share your love for all the Blackpink members. Until next time x


	11. eleven

Lisa wished she could have handled the situation better. Thinking she had everything figured out was a big overestimate, sometimes things just didn’t go her way, and there was nothing she could do about that. She probably should have seen it coming, but she wouldn’t have been ready for it either way.

The day had a great start. Even though she had to wake up alone, Lisa felt unexplainably giddy with happiness. She spent a good ten minutes just hugging Kuma and staring at the ceiling, carelessly thinking about how dazzling Jennie’s eyes were and how she wanted a tattoo of her pretty smile on her forehead. At some point, she considered the possibility that maybe she was acting a little crazy, but that was the effect that Jennie had on her. Lisa honestly didn’t mind going insane over Jennie, the girl just made her feel so… _alive._ It had been long since had come to realise that her life had changed drastically since she met Jennie, but Lisa would argue that it had been for the better. Obviously, it had not been anywhere close to a smooth ride, but Lisa wouldn’t have changed anything.

Coming back to reality, she cleared her mind from her millions of thoughts and returned her attention to the fancy breakfast Jennie had left. Considering that she still had time before leaving for school, Lisa made herself comfortable on the couch and ate everything Jennie had prepared, ensuring to send a quick text to the girl just to let her know exactly how much she liked it.

Jennie didn’t reply, which was the first warning sign.

Throughout the day, Lisa had tried to keep her hands off her phone, but the persistent urge to check her messages in hopes to see a text from Jennie could not be ignored. Sadly, the brunette's name never appeared on the screen. Although she had tried to keep an open mind, Lisa just didn’t think it was normal for Jennie to ignore her completely without an obvious motive. It became more difficult to pretend that there was nothing wrong, especially considering that the previous day they had no issues. Lisa decided to send a couple more texts, the usual innocent ‘ _how are you?’_ and ‘ _when will you be back?’,_ alongside a ‘ _I’m bored’_ to cover her blatant need for an answer.

Her messages never got marked as read.

During her classes, Lisa would nervously bounce her knee and tap her pen on the desk without even taking notice of the material being taught. Her eyes kept darting back and forth between the clock on the wall and her wrist watch, and as the time went by Lisa became more and more impatient for the school day to end. Even her friends noticed that she was acting up, but Lisa didn't want to share her panic. She didn't want to voice her concerns as if they were serious enough, she didn't want her worries to be reasonable. All she needed was to go home and see Jennie. Lisa needed to know that Jennie was perfectly fine and that she was stressing over nothing.

Except, when Lisa returned from school, she didn’t find Jennie at home.

And that was not a good sign.

In her note, Jennie didn’t specify at what time she’d be back, but meeting a friend shouldn’t have taken the whole day. The fact that she still had not seen nor replied to her texts made Lisa feel slightly paranoid. Jennie was not the best at texting by any means, but typically she never took long to respond. Lisa really didn’t want to assume the worst, but she couldn’t avoid having a negative feeling about the situation. If anything happened to Jennie, her world would fall apart. And no, this time she wasn’t exaggerating.

Lisa must have called her at least five consecutive times, and each time the call didn’t go through. Pacing around the house like a mad woman wasn’t helping, but she couldn’t stand still. She tried to check every room to see if Jennie had been home at some point in the day, but everything looked exactly the same way as that morning. Asking Chaeyoung would have been her best shot at finding Jennie, but she was also not answering. Her phone was ringing, but she wasn’t picking up.

Maybe she was acting like a stressed mother with her teenage daughter, but it was extremely alarming for Jennie to disappear without saying anything.

Just when Lisa reached for her coat with the intention of going out and looking for the girl, the front door opened, and Jennie entered.

At first, a wave of relief washed over Lisa’s features, her arms dropping to her sides as she let the coat fall onto the ground. _Jennie was okay._

Then, as she stepped closer to the standing girl, her eyes focused on Jennie’s appearance. Her hair was slightly messy, as if she had been running her hands through it multiple times. Her gaze was dull, and when Lisa was just a few inches away from her, she finally noticed the red-rimmed eyes.

Out of instinct, Lisa didn’t even manage to get words out before she was engulfing the shorter girl into a tight hug. Jennie stood rigidly, not returning the hug. She appeared to be rather shaken, almost frightened, and Lisa’s embrace didn’t seem to ease her tension.

“What happened?” Lisa asked as softly as possible.

Jennie let Lisa hold her. She rested her forehead against Lisa’s shoulder and waited. It wasn’t too long, maybe a couple of minutes, but the silence made Lisa grow gradually more nervous. Something was definitely off.

When she pulled away, Lisa held Jennie’s cold face and gave her an encouraging look, wanting her to say something. Anything.

For a moment, Jennie stared at her blankly. Lisa couldn’t tell what was going through her mind, but she didn’t have a good feeling about it.

And then Jennie frowned. A crease formed between her brows and her lips pressed together. If it was any other time, Lisa would have called her adorable, but Jennie genuinely seemed upset.

“Jennie, please tell me what’s wrong.”

The brunette raised one shaking hand up to Lisa’s chest, and hit her lightly. It wasn’t harsh, it wasn’t meant to cause harm. And yet Jennie repeated the movement multiple times, hitting Lisa weakly as her shoulders started to tremble.

“…why didn’t you tell me?”

Not minding Jennie’s soft pushes, Lisa let the girl continue. She had a good guess about what Jennie was referring to, but it didn’t stop her from avoiding the subject.

“Why don’t we head to bed and then talk about it tomorrow?”

“Why. Didn’t. You. Tell. Me.” Jennie reiterated through gritted teeth, pushing Lisa backwards with each word.

“I didn’t want you to feel bad.”

“Feel bad?” Jennie scoffed and chuckled sarcastically, “I feel like fucking shit, Lisa.”

“I’m sorry—”

“ _You’re_ sorry? I’m the one that fucked up.”

“No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Lisa tried to reassure her in vain.

Jennie was now standing with one arm resting on her hip and the other pushing her hair back. She licked her bottom lip in thought, not making another step closer to the blonde. When Lisa met her eyes, she was shocked to see them filled entirely with guilt.

“That night, I was the one that got into your bed. I was the one that initiated it. I was the one on top of you while you… I’m a—I’m a fucking-“

“Jennie stop!” Within a second Lisa had her hands on either side of Jennie’s tear-stained face, watching as the brunette struggled to breathe and held onto the fabric of Lisa’s shirt with tight fists. Lisa never expected that reaction. If anything, she thought that Jennie would have been mad at her, not blaming _herself_.

“I wanted it too, okay? Just as much as you did,” she breathed out at last. “If I wanted you to stop, I would have stopped you. The only reason I didn’t tell you was because I didn’t want you to regret it.”

But Jennie just shook her head again and again, not convinced to the least.

“I ruined you, didn’t I? I can’t do anything right.”

\---

Destiny had a weird way to bring two people together. It was hard to believe that the girl who used to treat feelings like the plague was now being hit really fucking hard by reality. Lisa wanted to tell her it was fine, that they were working towards something together. But how could she, when they were not _together_ to begin with? Sure, there was definitely some kind of relationship, but unless the both of them were completely honest with one another, nothing will come out of it. They had been avoiding the topic since the start, and that had only contributed to Lisa’s doubts and Jennie’s insecurities. They had to stop hesitating and hiding from what they truly wanted.

Hence, a long conversation was overdue.

The two girls found themselves sitting on the steps of the staircase, purely because Jennie needed somewhere to hold onto and the stairs just happened to be there. Lisa didn’t try to say anything for a while, allowing the distressed girl to gather her thoughts. It wasn’t exactly the most comfortable position, but it felt weirdly intimate considering the fact that they were practically on the verge of shouting a few minutes prior.

Jennie was fidgeting with her hands, and Lisa just glanced her way from time to time with her arms resting against her knees. She was glad that the brunette had finally calmed down a little, but it was clear that the nerves were still eating her up. It was normal, Lisa wouldn’t have expected anything less.

“You know, I had never been anyone’s first time before.” Jennie smiled sheepishly, but her voice was very unsteady and her stare was fixed on her lap. Lisa reached for one of her shaking hands and pulled it towards her, where she held it between her own hands in hopes to give some sort of comfort. When Jennie’s eyes finally looked up, Lisa gave her a warm smile.

“I was that special?” Lisa teased, gently nudging Jennie’s shoulder. It was a weak attempt at lightening up the mood, or at least making sure that Jennie felt less anxious about talking to her.

“You’ve always been special.”

Lisa’s lips parted in surprise at the sudden comment, but Jennie just returned to staring downwards. Usually, the brunette had no problem with confidence, but at that moment she seemed so small and fragile. It made it even harder to get words out of her. Still holding her hand, Lisa interlocked their fingers and rubbed gently on Jennie’s skin with her thumb.

“Well, if I was special to you, and you were special to me, then we’re good. Stop feeling guilt over something you didn’t know, Jennie.”

“I can’t… it wasn’t fair on you.” Taking a deep breath, Jennie continued with her head low. “I shouldn’t have gotten involved with someone like you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You expect more from…” she gestured between the two of them, “…this. I’m not the right person for you.”

It was not exactly what Lisa wanted to hear, but she supposed it was obvious that Jennie had strong doubts about what they could be. Judging from her tone, Jennie wasn’t sure about anything she was saying. Maybe it was a bad sign—or maybe it was a good sign. Sometimes, a doubt was just an indication of hope in disguise.

“What about you, then? Do you not want… more?”

Jennie laughed half-heartedly, “I don’t even know what I want anymore. I never felt like—like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like I belong with someone, I guess,” Jennie mumbled. “When I first found out I had to live with a step-sister, I hated it. I didn’t want to waste my time with someone that was eventually going to disappear. But now… I just can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

There was nothing that could have stopped the smile that formed on Lisa’s lips. All that she had wanted to hear for weeks had just been said out loud. Some part of her had always believed that Jennie’s feelings went far deeper than what she showed, but it was extremely satisfying to get a confirmation of it just to let the big question marks that had been disturbing her mind disappear all at once. With a newfound spark in her gaze, Lisa pushed herself a couple of steps below their level and crouched in front of the older girl, finally looking up at her eyes.

“Well, I feel the same way. I can’t even begin to explain how much I want to be with you.”

She stared at the older girl lovingly, hoping to have found some sort of common ground. Jennie wasn’t smiling, though. If Lisa were to describe it from her view, she’d say that there was a massive grey cloud hovering above her head, almost as if she was preparing to let it rain any minute.

“What is it now?”

“I haven’t been doing this right, Lisa. And I probably never will.”

Jennie was again, not convinced of what she was saying. She kept beating her head against a wall with her concerns, not knowing that Lisa was more than willing to listen and give her every reason to stay. But for the sake of solving their issues before it was too late, she let her continue.

“You see, I knew you were attracted to me from the first night you spent on the couch. I found it cute, so I had some fun messing with you until… well, until I started to feel something else. And, when you said you liked me, I thought it was just physical attraction alongside a stupid teen crush on an older girl. That’s why I let myself get close to you in the first place, assuming we’d both get what we wanted and that one day you’d get over it.”

Jennie’s words were not meant to hurt, but Lisa couldn’t help but feel upset. Her intentions had always been genuine, she didn’t know how Jennie had not felt that. She raised her hand up to Jennie’s neck, and with one finger she pulled the black cord that she knew was underneath Jennie’s shirt. The charm slid out easily, hanging between the both of them like a much needed reminder.

“I don’t really know what you’d define as _stupid teen crush,_ ” Lisa spit out the words bitterly, “but I’m telling you, this is not it. I don’t know how clearer I can make it for you. I’m so in love with you, Jennie Kim, that I nearly drove myself to madness just at the thought of losing you this morning.”

It was obvious by then that Lisa’s confessions _never_ went as planned. She loved Jennie, and admitting it proudly was not a problem anymore. There was no point in denying it, Lisa wanted Jennie to know. But as soon as she heard that particular sentence, Jennie took a sharp intake of breath, her wide eyes staring down at the blonde almost in fear of what she could say next. Lisa never averted her gaze, wanting Jennie to feel every single word.

“I love everything about you. I love watching you cook us dinner while I pretend to help you just so I can look at you closely. I love going on long drives and listening to you sing along with the radio because you pretty much have the voice of an angel, even if you don't realise it. I love how your right eye becomes smaller when you laugh wholeheartedly, and how your gums show when you smile brightly. I love sitting close to you at home and having your head on my shoulder when you’re tired, because for once, it feels like we’re truly together. And if you want me to go on, I will do so with no hesitation.”

“And you know what else? I’m so fucking scared too. Every time I fool myself into believing you feel the same way, you turn around and run, just like what you’re trying to do now. And even then, I want to stay because I know you’ll come back to me. Because I know that by staying, I can prove to you that I’m willing to wait for you. But I can’t keep going forever.” Lisa felt her voice crack, but she didn’t halt. “I’m just so tired and… and if being in a relationship with me is not what you really want, then I’m not the right person for you either.”

Her heart felt like it was running a marathon, and she didn’t know how Jennie had still not screamed in pain with how tightly Lisa was gripping her hand. And no matter how much she willed herself not to cry, she could already feel her vision becoming blurry. However, what was strangely surprising was seeing Jennie’s small smile as she wiped Lisa’s tears with her shirtsleeve. Her expression portrayed… mixed feelings. To be precise, there was pain as well as a look of complete adoration. It was almost amusing how Lisa always ended up being confused.

Jennie hummed, nodding in understanding at Lisa’s statements. Then, there was silence. A silence in which all Lisa could focus on were Jennie’s fingers gently tracing her facial features. It was comforting, Lisa’s frustration being soothed easily with her touch.

“Lisa, I…” Jennie paused, and then restarted her sentence. “I always thought I knew how I wanted to live. I thought I was doing the right thing all this time. The… ‘running’, as you call it, was my way of keeping safe.”

“You don’t have to constantly keep your guard up. Not with me.”

“I know, but I preferred to be cautious. Except, whenever I was around you, my logic didn’t seem to make sense anymore. You’re patient. You’re caring. Sometimes you’re impulsive. And most of all…” her palm came to cover the top of Lisa’s chest, “you have a good heart.”

“That’s not true. I did and said so many things without thinking twice, I even hurt you, remember? I—“

“You’re not perfect. No one is. But to me, it doesn’t matter. I like being with you so fucking much. I love when you take care of me, because for once in my life, it feels like I actually deserve it. But that’s the thing Lisa, you shouldn’t be with someone like me. I don’t deserve you.”

“Not again with this, please.”

“I don’t know how to love anyone, I can’t be in a relationship without the fear of it ending, can’t you see? I’m a fucking mess. Even if you say you’re in love with me now, there’s going to be a day where it’s not going to work anymore.”

“Who says that day will come for sure in the first place? Jennie,” Lisa called out exasperated, “how will you get through life if all you think about is the end of things? I _want_ to give you everything, so please let me be with you and show you. Just let go, just this one time, give me a chance.”

Given Jennie's previous responses to Lisa expressing her devotion to their relationship, Lisa was getting prepared for a fight. But that time, Jennie seemed remarkably composed. She was not panicking, nor getting upset over Lisa's proposal.

“Why are you not angry with me, Lisa?” she questioned, her voice perfectly stable. To Lisa, it sounded more like curiosity than a chance to argue.

“Oh, I am frustrated beyond belief. But no matter how hard you make things for me, I’m still going to be right here, with you. I’m not leaving.”

Lifting herself up on her knees, Lisa got rid of the distance between them until she felt Jennie’s legs on the sides of her waist, with her palms resting on the step right behind Jennie’s middle. She reached her eye-level, bringing their faces only inches apart.

“Trust me on this, please,” Lisa whispered against her lips.

They had gone through everything they could. They had spoken about their fears and wants, without holding back. It was their last chance. After that, there wouldn’t be any more tries.

But then, the corners of Jennie’s lips slowly turned upwards. She closed her eyes, and pushed herself forward to gently press her forehead against Lisa’s.

“I might get too jealous sometimes, I have a high sex drive and I need a lot of attention. Is that still okay with you?”

For the first time since she started pursuing Jennie, Lisa felt like she truly won. “It’s perfect.”

\-----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only two chapters left!


	12. twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't get the time to proofread, my apologies for any ugly mistakes!

“You guys are disgusting.”

“Jisoo!”

“Just look at them, Chaeng.”

If you had told Lisa that one day she’d be in a room with her girlfriend, her best friend, and her girlfriend’s (sort of) ex-lover peacefully enjoying an evening together, she would have had a good laugh. And yet here they were, with Lisa glued to Jennie’s side like a koala and Jisoo making fun of her clingy behaviour.

Essentially, everything started with a phone call. Lisa had asked Jisoo if she wanted to join her and kill time at home since Jennie was out (“ _You only want to use me,_ ” Jisoo had dramatically complained). But when her friend mentioned that she wanted to spend her day with Chaeyoung, Lisa had the brilliant idea of inviting both girls over. It was a bit of a weird request but one, Lisa was bored and two, she wanted to see at what stage her friend got with her relationship. She knew they were dating for sure, but Lisa had never interacted with them as a couple. Jisoo was her best friend, so it was very likely that Chaeyoung was going to be a more constant presence in their lives, hence why hanging out as a group would help getting any awkwardness out of the way. Besides, Lisa was extremely happy for Jisoo—she had never seen her being so gentle with anyone, but Chaeyoung brought out that side of her effortlessly. Initially, it was going to be a very normal afternoon with the three of them messing around and acting like children.

What was unexpected was for Jennie to come home way too early and be greeted with the sight of Lisa and Jisoo sitting on the floor playing some shooting video game (with an awfully scary look of determination), and Chaeyoung sitting comfortably on the couch behind them, eating popcorn and enjoying the show.

When Lisa had noticed the sudden arrival, she stopped playing and let her character die (to Jisoo’s great pleasure). She didn’t really consider the case where all four girls would be reunited. Lisa wasn’t aware of anything that happened between Jennie and Chaeyoung, she didn’t really want to ask to avoid the possible tension. When she noticed Jennie not moving, the blonde didn’t hesitate to stand up and walk over to where she was standing.

“You’re home,” she had awkwardly commented, not that Jennie was paying much attention to how nervous Lisa was acting.

“I cancelled my plans for the evening.” She paused to glance at the couple relaxing in front of them. “Didn’t know we’d have visitors.”

“Sorry, it was kind of an improvised thing… I hope you don’t mind, I didn’t want to bother you.”

Jennie simply shook her head unbothered. “It’s fine.”

Her blank stare was not giving much away, and Lisa couldn’t tell if Jennie was actually uncomfortable or not. It had been a while since her and Chaeyoung had been in the same place, and considering their past it was hard to tell whether or not they had reached the stage where they could hang out with their respective new partners.

As if suddenly getting in a good mood, Jennie turned to face Lisa once again and smiled, wrapping one arm around the blonde’s waist and pulling her towards herself. Lisa didn’t even get the time to yelp in surprise before she felt the touch of Jennie’s lips on the corner of her mouth.

“I’ll get changed. See you in a bit.”

Lisa could feel her ears turning red as she remained frozen on the spot. Although weeks had passed from the day they ( _officially_ ) started being in a relationship, Lisa had still not gotten used to spontaneous public affectionate gestures, and so her heart felt like exploding each time Jennie acted so adorably regardless of having people around. Her eyes followed Jennie as the girl walked towards the stairs. The brunette passed by Chaeyoung and stretched her arm out, and the seated girl reached out to squeeze the offered hand.

“Hello Rosie,” she greeted. Chaeyoung grinned and waved as Jennie climbed up the staircase behind.

That was enough to indicate there was no bad blood between the two girls, and Lisa was more than relieved.

But when Jennie returned and joined the trio in their little hangout, Lisa finally realised that the real problem had never been having Chaeyoung under their roof. The issues were shockingly between Jennie and Jisoo.

At first, everything was going pretty smoothly. Jennie sat idly next to Lisa with her head resting against the blonde’s shoulder, not particularly paying attention to whatever was playing on screen. Lisa had one arm draped over Jennie’s shoulders, her eyes fixed on the TV. Chaeyoung would drop a few comments when she felt like it, but Jisoo was weirdly quiet throughout.

“How did your exams go, Jen?” Chaeyoung asked out of the blue. It was obviously an attempt at starting a conversation and getting everyone involved.

“Hmm?” Jennie lifted her head and sat up straight, “they were okay, I guess. Exam season is not for me.”

“It’s really not,” Lisa laughed, rubbing Jennie’s shoulder.

“Have you guys done anything special to celebrate the end of it?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary.” Jennie replied almost emotionless, an evident contrast to the blonde next to her. Lisa cleared her throat and pulled at the collar of her shirt to get some air, not really subtle about her flustered state. Jennie leaned back and returned her gaze to the screen, successfully hiding her knowing smirk from the other girls.

(Unknown to anyone but them, on the evening of Jennie’s last exam, Lisa decided to be a little more risqué and showed the brunette just how good she was in terms of dancing. Maybe a sexy lap dance wasn’t exactly the best way to show off, but Jennie would strongly disagree. Needless to say, Jennie had thoroughly enjoyed her reward and that episode will forever remain private.)

After a few minutes the conversation flowed easily, mostly thanks to Chaeyoung’s effort in making it work. Or better, three out of four made it work. Jisoo never even bothered to look at Jennie’s direction whenever she spoke, which Lisa found very unusual. Only after Jennie left the living room for a toilet break did Lisa bring up the issue.

“Jisoo, are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know… you’ve been acting a little weird.”

“I’m completely fine.” Jisoo replied in the most cheerful way possible, which Lisa took as a clear sign of sarcasm.

“Chu, just spit it out.” Chaeyoung also sounded quite frustrated, and Lisa was left to glance at both girls acting… well, _weirdly_.

“Is there something I’m supposed to know or?”

Jisoo sighed annoyed while Chaeyoung continued to nudge her.

“Well, Lisa, I must say I’m not really fond of your step-sister.”

Lisa opened her mouth to reply, but Chaeyoung beat her to it. “It’s my fault, I told her about what happened between me and Jennie.”

“I just don’t get it, okay? This girl played with both of you but she can still sit here acting like she did nothing.” Jisoo scoffed and crossed her arms, not paying attention to Lisa’s shocked expression.

“Actually we’ve spoken about it, and we’re good now,” the blonde rebutted. “Jennie is with me. Fully.”

Lisa was annoyed, but she also understood where her friend was coming from. Jennie was a complex person, and not everyone could make an effort to get to know her without judgement. Jisoo had to help Lisa dealing with Jennie’s mixed signals, and now she knew about Chaeyoung’s long unrequited love story. It was kind of logical for her to be mad at the girl that was involved with both her girlfriend and best friend.

“And she also cleared the air with me, we’re still friends,” Chaeyoung added, placing her hand on Jisoo’s thigh to help the older girl lose a bit of tension. “I have you now.”

Maybe it was the kiss on the cheek she received from Chaeyoung, or maybe it was Lisa’s look of reassurance, but Jisoo finally uncrossed her arms and rolled her eyes. “Fine. But don’t expect any drastic change.”

In reality, Jisoo did make an effort, and Lisa was proud of her friend for trying to get along with Jennie. Well, _get along_ was a bit far-fetched. For being the two eldest in the room, Jisoo and Jennie acted like bickering children whenever they interacted. It was mainly Jisoo making teasing comments and Jennie getting annoyed every five seconds, but at least it was better than having the two ignoring each other’s existence.

\-----

Night-time had come sooner than expected, and the two guests had left after saying their goodbyes. Like usual, Jennie and Lisa ate dinner together and immersed themselves in light conversations. Talking freely with Jennie and seeing her smile made Lisa truly happy because, as cheesy as it sounded, being with Jennie felt like home. She couldn’t imagine going back to living in an empty house and spending her nights alone. It scared her to even think about what would happen if they were to fall apart. But given the way they were all over each other, that concern became more and more absurd.

Jennie was at the sink now, washing the dishes by herself although Lisa had insisted she could do them. The blonde was sitting at the dining table, taking in the sight of her girlfriend’s back. Jennie had her hair up in a bun, allowing Lisa to enjoy the view of her exposed nape. She couldn’t explain how but even the most simple details about Jennie made her look so attractive, and Lisa felt like the luckiest girl in the world whenever she looked at her.

After waiting a few minutes, Lisa got impatient. She stood up and took tentative steps towards the brunette, making sure to not be too obvious. Jennie’s head was tilted downwards as she kept washing, not giving signs of noticing Lisa’s movements. The blonde continued to get closer, almost looking like a thief with the hunched back, confidently thinking she wasn’t making any sound—

“Is my back so interesting that you have come to take a closer look?” Jennie turned her head to the side, enough to let Lisa see the smug smile on her lips. _Caught._

Lisa stood up straight and cleared her throat, pulling her shirt down to fix her appearance. “I was just coming to… ehm, check on you?”

Jennie shook her head laughing and returned to her task, while Lisa closed the distance between them and circled the older girl’s waist with her arms. She kissed Jennie’s temple and propped her chin on the girl’s shoulder.

“But to answer your question, your back is _very_ pretty. I could stare at it for hours.”

“And yet you lasted two minutes.”

Lisa pinched Jennie’s side, making the girl squeal in shock before they both started laughing.

“How did you find today’s evening?” Lisa questioned as the brunette turned off the tap and grabbed a towel to dry her hands. Jennie’s smile faded a little, and Lisa noticed right away.

“What’s the matter?”

Jennie turned around still in Lisa’s arms. “Your friend hates me, doesn’t she?”

Caught off guard, Lisa raised her brows and pressed her lips together. After seeing the blonde’s reaction, Jennie added, “I heard what she said about me.”

“What—how? I mean… don’t worry about that, she didn’t mean it.” Lisa laughed nervously. Jennie gave her an unimpressed look.

“Okay maybe she’s not your biggest fan at the moment, but she’ll come around eventually. Jisoo is just very overprotective.”

“She’s not wrong though.”

“Jennie, don’t even start. Jisoo doesn’t know everything we’ve gone through, she didn’t see how good you’ve been to me.”

Lisa never failed to remind Jennie of how much she meant to her. The older girl still struggled to accept Lisa’s words of reassurance, and she often doubted herself and her ability to be a good lover, but the blonde could see that she was trying so hard to give the best of her, and that was all that Lisa needed.

“You really think I’m being good enough to you?”

“You’re much more than just enough.” Lisa gave her a quick kiss, and Jennie’s smile returned.

Seeing Jennie look so happy made Lisa lean down and capture soft lips once more, with Jennie being more than willing. She felt the brunette’s smaller hands come up to hold her jaw as she pushed her tongue past Lisa’s parted lips. And fuck, Jennie really did know how to take Lisa’s breath away. Even when her mouth was gentle, Lisa felt her body burn all over.

If possible, Lisa would have kept going for hours, but her need for air sadly didn’t allow her to. Jennie pulled away first, her smile still there as she stroked Lisa’s jaw lazily with her thumb. The taller girl was looking down at her in complete adoration, every kiss felt like a whole damn blessing.

“And then there’s you, Lalisa Manoban,” Jennie smirked playfully.

Lisa’s stare turned confused. “What?”

“You have proven to have a real naughty side behind this baby face.”

Jennie started giggling at Lisa’s blushing face, while the blonde just felt extremely mortified at the implication. The lap dance happened out of pure spontaneity, and in all honesty Lisa had just wanted to show for once and for all that she wasn’t an innocent little girl—which could seem quite ironic in comparison to the pout she was sporting. It just made the older girl throw her head back in laughter.

“Oh c’mon, you weren’t supposed to mention it ever again!” Lisa whined.

“There’s no way I’m ever going to let you live that down.” Jennie reached up and pinched Lisa’s cheeks. “Besides, I definitely wouldn’t mind another sexy show the next time you want to impress me.”

Jennie lowered her tone at that last sentence and eyed the taller girl intently, sending shivers down Lisa’s spine. Lisa didn’t know how to reply, her voice seemed to have suddenly disappeared at the sight of Jennie’s seducing stare.

The brunette pushed herself up on her tiptoes until her lips were just about touching Lisa’s ear.

“Dancing suits you a whole lot more than cooking.”

\------

With exams, stress, and doubts out of the way, Lisa had more than enough reasons to take Jennie out on proper dates. She was not worried anymore about being turned down. After all, they were now in a committed, very serious, non-ambiguous relationship, which meant that Lisa had every right to spend time with her girlfriend whenever and wherever she wanted.

An ice cream date was the first thing that came to her mind. Lisa had considered having dinner in a luxurious restaurant or going for a coffee in a small yet lively café, but both options sounded too bland and rather predictable. Not that an ice cream parlour was any better, but Lisa was fairly confident that Jennie was going to enjoy being surrounded by her favourite dessert.

However, on the day Lisa finally built up the courage to ask her out, Jennie laughed. And it wasn’t one of those cute laughs that made you relax and join in, Jennie knew something that made the situation seem hilarious, and Lisa was clueless about what it was.

“What’s so funny?” Lisa questioned, almost offended. 

“Nothing, I’m just thinking about how long it took you to ask.”

“Huh?”

Jennie bit her lip, looking down at the ground to cover her amused grin. “You see, I received a text the other day.”

Completely forgetting about the date offering, Lisa stepped closer to the brunette with a curious look. “A text?”

Jennie nodded, reaching for her phone in the back pocket of her jeans. She unlocked it and opened her messages, scrolling down until she found a particular name. When she re-read over the words, she snorted and brought her palm up to her mouth to hold back her incoming giggles. As childish as she sounded, Lisa whined, feeling left out. Jennie soon stopped with the mystery act and held the phone out, now with the hint of a smirk on her lips.

Lisa raised her eyebrow, quickly accepting the device and taking a glance at the screen. When she finished reading, her face felt a lot warmer.

 **Kim Jisoo  
**hey can you like, tell lisa to stop sending me cheesy date ideas at 3 fucking a.m. in the morning because i honestly couldn’t care less about whether or not you’d enjoy stargazing and other shit like that. just save the girl some stress and say yes even if her idea sucks. also, if you could kindly push her off her stupid bike for me next time you see her, i would greatly appreciate it. - kim jisoo  
_03:12_

 **Kim Jisoo**  
btw this doesn’t make us friends or anything  
_03:13_

As soon as she noticed Lisa getting flustered, Jennie lost her composure and started laughing once again. This time, she made sure to wrap her hands around Lisa and pat her back in reassurance, not surprised when she felt stiff muscles. 

“Hey, nothing to be embarrassed about! I find it really cute, actually.”

Lisa remained frozen on the spot, her eyes still fixed on Jennie’s phone. She only snapped out of her shocked state when she registered the touch of Jennie’s lips on her jaw. “And I’d love to go on a date with you, Lisa.”

“I…”

Lisa was left truly speechless. She knew she should have expected some kind of revenge from Jisoo after she had encouraged Chaeyoung to take her on a bike ride (which Jisoo described as a _near-death experience)_ , but she never imagined that she’d go as far as contacting Jennie, especially when the two barely interacted. The texts were sent almost a week before, meaning that Jennie had known about Lisa’s plans for quite a long time, and most likely noticed her not-so-subtle research process. Maybe it was better that way, it surely did make their first real date a lot more memorable.

Lisa pulled away from the embrace and forced a tight-lipped smile. “Well, at least I got a yes without being thrown off my bike.”

Embarrassing moments aside, Lisa still went through with her idea.

The ice cream parlour was surprisingly not that crowded, there were only a couple of families with children and a few other younger kids. The place was also very pleasing to the eye, the walls were painted in all sorts of pastel colours and the floor tiles varied in shades of pink.

Lisa walked in first, holding the door open for Jennie. Even the tiniest gesture could steal a loving smile from the brunette, and Lisa lived to see those cute reactions. Standing a few feet away from the front counter, Jennie looked up at the menu, scanning the different options as the customers in front of them made their orders.

However, Lisa couldn't keep her eyes away from her girlfriend. Considering the way she made herself look like a fool by being so invested in a date, she didn't expect Jennie to take her seriously. But that morning, Lisa had watched Jennie get into the shower early, followed by spending almost an hour in her room getting ready. Now that she could shamelessly stare at the girl without feeling guilty, Lisa didn't hold back. Jennie was wearing makeup, it wasn't anything too flashy, but to Lisa she appeared just as beautiful as she was barefaced. Her outfit consisted of black shorts with an oversized white cardigan, and Lisa felt the urge to wrap her arms around her and never let go. 

"...Lisa?"

"Sorry, what were you saying?" Lisa stood a little straighter, aware that she had been zoning out.

Jennie simply shook her head amused, letting Lisa get away with the staring. "I was asking if you wanted me to order while you get us a table."

"Uh, yeah sure. How much do we need?" Lisa offered, already rummaging in her bag for her purse. 

Jennie immediately pulled Lisa's arm until her hand slipped out of the bag. "It’s my treat."

Ignoring her, Lisa started to reach for her cash again, but Jennie pushed her out of the queue before she could get the money. "Don't worry, you can pay the next time!"

Lisa really shouldn’t have been grinning like a complete idiot while she was walking towards the nearest empty table by herself, but she couldn't help it after hearing Jennie’s words _,_ because even after they had made their relationship official, Lisa really liked the sound of _next times_ with Jennie. She got a few weird looks from the people around her, but she didn't really care.

Jennie joined her a few minutes later, placing two white bowls on the table and sitting down on the seat opposite Lisa. She dropped her bag gently on the chair beside her and dipped her spoon into the frozen dessert. Bringing the spoon up to her mouth, Jennie closed her eyes and hummed in approval of the taste. When she returned her gaze to Lisa, she smirked at the intense stare. 

"You should start eating before it melts," she gestured towards Lisa's bowl.

"What? Oh—yeah, " Lisa took a spoonful of ice cream, "I was just, you know..."

"Ogling me."

"I wasn't _ogling,"_ Lisa frowned, "it's called admiring."

With the spoon between her teeth, Jennie chuckled. Lisa loved the sound. 

They never really pretended to have innocent thoughts, nor denied the fact that they were extremely attracted to each other, but when the looks of desire became too obvious, it was always a great chance to tease and make someone flustered. That someone just happened to be Lisa most of the time. 

“So,” Jennie started after a few moments, “I haven’t been on a proper date in years. What are we supposed to do? Ask questions? Share our life story?”

Lisa licked her bottom lip. “Well, if you want.”

“I thought we were way past this stage,” Jennie smirked playfully.

But Lisa wasn’t really joking. “But are we? I mean, I am a quite open person, you probably know a lot about me already. But… there are so many things I still don’t know about you.”

At first, Lisa was afraid that she had offended Jennie, or even upset her. She knew that the brunette struggled with trusting other people, but after being together for so long, Lisa had hoped that she had gotten comfortable enough with her. She wanted to know everything about Jennie, even the smallest details.

Thankfully, Jennie didn’t seem mad at all. Her smile was more timid, as if talking about herself was not something that she did often.

“I see. But, I thought Rosie already told you about me?”

Lisa knew that her meeting with Chaeyoung was not a secret anymore, she knew that Jennie was aware of everything that had been said. That only made Lisa more insistent, Jennie’s life was not just made up of bad history.

“Jennie, that’s only a small part of yourself. There’s so much more that makes you who you are, and I want all of it.”

Jennie left her silver spoon at that point, propping her chin up on her palm and giving Lisa a look of interest.

“Okay,” she calmly responded, “what do you want to know?”

Lisa rubbed the back of her neck, shrugging. “Anything you’re willing to share.”

Jennie nodded, looking down at her ice cream. Lisa waited for her, quietly examining the small frown that appeared on Jennie’s face. She knew that it was not a bad sign, Jennie was simply thinking. Then, her lips formed a shy smile.

“You know, I always loved ice cream,” she started softly. “When I was little, just the sound of an ice cream truck nearby would get me excited. But one time, I stupidly decided to make a run for it, and ended up tripping and falling on hard cement, breaking my wrist in the process.”

It was supposed to be a painful story, but just imagining a mini Jennie desperately chasing an ice cream truck made Lisa break into laughter. Jennie was not a fan of the reaction, so she lightly kicked Lisa under the table.

“It’s a tragic memory!” she complained, but Lisa could hear the giggles threatening to overflow.

“Oh, you must have been super cute as a child.”

“Am I not super cute now?”

“Of course, but your sexy side takes over quite often.” Lisa’s laugh faded and she leaned a little closer, her stomach pressing against the edge of the table. “Enough of me interrupting, keep going.”

Jennie raised her brow at Lisa’s eagerness, but she didn’t seem bothered by it. 

“Alright. Let’s see…” she pressed her thumb against her mouth, and then parted her lips so she could bite on it gently. Lisa felt like a pervert for wishing it was her thumb instead. “When I was in high school, sometimes I pretended to be my mum on the phone to call in sick, just so I could skip and go to the cinema instead.”

“You loved watching movies even then?

“Kind of.” Jennie suddenly sighed. “Mostly, I just needed the peaceful and quiet atmosphere. It helped me to get away from what happened back home.”

Lisa remembered what Chaeyoung told her. Jennie probably had to suffer through her mother arguing with whoever she was married to, and watch every relationship fall apart in front of her eyes without being able to do anything. Lisa slid her hand across the table’s surface, finding Jennie’s hand and pushing her fingers between hers. Jennie smiled at the gesture.

“I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Lisa shook her head. “I never want you to feel like that. If you ever need to escape to the cinema again, I’ll come with you. I promise.”

Jennie pulled Lisa’s hand towards her mouth and kissed her knuckles. “Thank you.”

For the next hour or so, the conversation was filled with humour and mostly light-hearted stories. The ice cream had significantly melted in the meanwhile and had the texture of yoghurt, but the girls enjoyed eating it either way. Jennie told Lisa about her high school days. She started with how she fully accepted the fact that she liked girls after watching _The Notebook_ and falling for Rachel McAdams instead of Ryan Gosling, and Lisa had to agree by recalling that she also had a crush on the actress at some point. Then, she spoke about her flawed relationship with her mother, commenting on how Kaeun’s persistent dream of a perfect family was practically suffocating her. Jennie also mentioned her father, who had paid for her tuition fees and bought her a car without even bothering to meet her. Lisa’s jaw was clenched throughout the entire talk. She was never going to understand how a parent could be so selfish and, especially when Jennie had to deal with the mess they left behind from such a young age. After seeing the blonde’s scowl, Jennie reassured her that she was doing just fine without him. Lisa let the topic go, not wanting anything to ruin their date.

By the time they were leaving and heading home, Jennie’s stories had still not finished. It wasn’t dark yet, the sun just starting to set. Lisa had Jennie’s hand in hers, and the two girls casually wandered through a rather deserted street, neither wanting the day to be over. The atmosphere was extremely pleasant, Lisa felt like she was in a movie.

“...I had my first boyfriend when I was sixteen. He cheated on me after a month—or maybe even earlier, I never really figured it out.”

“Asshole.”

The amused laugh that followed made Lisa want to stop and devour Jennie with kisses.

"Yeah, he was a bit rotten inside."

"Sucks for him, you're mine now."

"That, I am." Jennie smiled lovingly, and Lisa couldn't help but give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

And then, the unexpected happened.

"...Jennie!"

All at once, Jennie's body tensed up. She stopped walking abruptly, her head whipping around towards the voice that had shouted her name. Lisa's eyebrows furrowed at the nervous look in Jennie's eyes, but as she followed the brunette's gaze, she was only left confused.

A tall man was speed-walking towards them, almost jogging. He seemed to have his eyes focused on Jennie, waiting to see if she was going to wait. She did.

As he came closer, Lisa observed how his smile never faltered. She could tell it was genuine, the guy was practically oozing joy just at the sight of the brunette. Alongside his charming aura, he was also quite handsome. He wore a crisp white shirt, thin enough to show his firm chest and arm muscles. On one hand he was holding what seemed to be a navy-coloured blazer, while the other was carrying a simple black briefcase. Most likely someone that worked in an office. He was definitely an adult, but he didn't look old, late twenties at most.

Lisa noticed how Jennie grew anxious, not running away from the sudden encounter but also not confident in staying. Lisa wasn’t sure about what was happening, she didn’t recognise the man. But somehow, he didn't really feel like a threat. Lisa squeezed Jennie's hand, indirectly telling her that she was going to follow whatever decision she made. Jennie didn't make a move to leave, and so Lisa remained by her side. For some reason, the fear in Jennie’s expression was familiar. She wasn’t scared of _him_ , but rather the thought of _meeting_ him. It was the same look she had when Lisa confessed to her for the first time. Once again, Jennie was having doubts about letting in someone that cared about her.

The man was stepping closer and closer, and only stopped when he was a few feet right in front of Jennie. Lisa felt the brunette tightening her grip on Lisa’s hand.

"I knew it was you! I recognised you instantly," he exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear.

Due to his height, Jennie looked even smaller. 

"It's been a while," she commented with a shaky voice. 

"It has! I tried to call you many times you know, but then I found out you had changed your number. I still can't believe I got to meet you again." The man sounded really enthusiastic, and his tone was rather friendly. Even Lisa could tell that he had no bad intentions. And yet, Jennie still had her guard up high. 

"Yeah, I…" Jennie let go of Lisa's hand and crossed her arms awkwardly, clearing her throat. "I wasn't really in a good place."

"I can imagine," the man mused. “Have you been well? How’s your mother?”

“She’s good, I’m also… good.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” 

Lisa could see the cautious way he was handling their conversation. He wasn’t asking anything that Jennie wasn’t comfortable with, and he was not pushing too hard for long answers either. He knew her really well, Lisa had to praise him for that. 

“Do you still have my number? Maybe… we can talk some other time, if you want?” 

Jennie didn't reply, preferring to look down instead. The man noticed the reaction and stepped back a little to give Jennie more space. He knew how to read Jennie so easily, and that only made Lisa more curious about who he was. For a moment, Lisa thought he was going to leave without another word. But then, his eyes shifted to Lisa. He showed her the exact same charming smile, although Lisa didn’t feel the excitement anymore.

"Sorry, my bad for interrupting. I just stopped thinking when I saw Jennie, I didn't mean to bother you guys. I’m…” he eyed Jennie tentatively, but when he didn’t receive a response, he faced Lisa again and gave her a cordial nod. “I should probably go now." He made a couple more steps back. His smile had dropped by then, probably disappointed about the short interaction. 

Hearing that he was slowly moving further away, Jennie finally looked up at him with hesitant eyes. Lisa wanted to tell her to go for it, it was obvious that she had more to say. The man shook his head slightly when he felt the apologetic stare. "It's alright, Jen. Take care of yourself, okay?"

He was leaving, and it didn't feel right. 

Something was left unresolved, the conversation was unfinished, and although the fact bothered Lisa, it couldn’t compare to how much it haunted Jennie. Lisa glanced at her girlfriend. Jennie's eyes were fixed on the man's back, pleading for him to come back. Lisa watched the panic take over Jennie's features. Her breathing became ragged and her arms fell to her sides as she made a step forward. _Go for it,_ Lisa repeated in her head. Jennie was angry, sad and dejected at the same time, and she couldn’t take it anymore. It was her decision to make, whether she wanted to ignore or follow her instinct—it was her call entirely. It wouldn’t take long for the man to disappear from their sight, and Lisa anticipated Jennie’s next move. The brunette’s bottom lip started to tremble, and her hands curled into fists. 

And then she took off.

Lisa admired the scene in awe. Jennie ran as fast as she could, rushing to catch up with the man that was already too far for her liking. Lisa shoved her hands in her pockets with a proud smile on her lips. Jennie wasn't that afraid anymore, it seemed. It was the first time Lisa had seen Jennie look at anyone with so much love, or at least, anyone beside herself. Lisa wasn't jealous in the slightest, it was clearly something beyond romantic love. He was someone that Jennie had longed for, someone that she had missed too much to lose again. 

Following Jennie at her own pace, Lisa waited to see Jennie finally reaching the person that was so dear to her. He was not too far yet, but Lisa knew Jennie was still worried about not making it.

"Namjoon!" she heard her shout.

The man stopped immediately and turned, a surprised laugh escaping his lips at the sight of the brunette running towards him at full speed. He opened his arms wide, and Jennie crashed into his chest.

From a few metres behind, Lisa could see Jennie's shoulders heaving. Her hands were clutching at the white shirt as she sobbed, most likely creating creases and soaking it with tears. She let herself cry, holding on to his embrace for dear life. 

The man, _Namjoon_ , had dropped his things on the ground instantly in favour of soothingly rubbing Jennie's back. Lisa heard Jennie mumble ‘ _I’m sorry’_ multiple times, but Namjoon shook his head, dismissing the unnecessary apologies. 

"It's okay, I swear, I understand." He then kissed the top of Jennie's head, and Lisa weirdly found the gesture adorable. Considering what she already knew about the people in Jennie's life, she had one good guess about who made her girlfriend burst into tears with his presence only.

Not wanting to invade their privacy, Lisa kept her distance as the two spoke. She overheard a few sentences, Jennie telling him that she missed him, and Namjoon saying he was so happy to see her again. Lisa could see that he was really putting her at ease throughout their conversation, probably throwing in a few bad jokes given the warm laughter that Lisa could hear from her girlfriend.

It was all very sweet, until Jennie remembered leaving a certain blonde behind. Lisa snorted at the overdramatic realisation, enjoying watching Jennie scan the area frantically only to sigh in relief when she found Lisa just a few feet from her. Once they both acknowledged the blonde, Lisa thought it was her time to join. 

“Hey,” she waved. 

Her eyes met Jennie’s gaze, who was now more excited than nervous. Her tears had dried, the only evidence of her crying in the first place being the wet spot on the man’s shirt. She left Namjoon’s side to link her arm with Lisa, and then gestured towards him. 

“Lisa, this is Kim Namjoon, my…” she hesitated, but Namjoon’s bright grin cleared all doubts. “My brother.”

Her brother, or step-brother as Lisa remembered her mentioning. The blonde didn’t even pretend to be surprised, only someone that had been very close to Jennie could have caused that emotional reaction. Namjoon was still sporting a big smile, and Lisa had to admit she liked him already as a person.

Then, Jennie slid her hand down Lisa’s arm until she could interlock their fingers. “Joon, this is Lisa Manoban, my girlfriend.”

With her free hand, Lisa reached out to accept Namjoon’s offered handshake. 

“Pleasure to meet you, Lisa. Again, I’m so sorry for stealing her from you.”

“You certainly haven’t stolen her,” Lisa laughed, “I’m glad you found her again. She was… a little lost.”

Jennie smiled sheepishly and rolled her eyes jokingly. “I’m getting better, aren’t I?”

“Definitely,” Lisa whispered, kissing Jennie’s temple.

“I should probably let you continue with your date ladies,” Namjoon crouched down to pick up his belongings, “I have a train to catch.”

Jennie’s smile disappeared. But before she could say anything, Namjoon pulled a business card from the front pocket of his briefcase and handed it to her. “First number is for my office, second number is my personal. Call me whenever you’re ready, okay Jen?”

Jennie happily accepted.

\----

“I had not seen him in almost… four years. When our parents divorced, my mum and I moved to the city while he stayed with his dad and finished his studies there. I never thought I’d meet him again.”

“But it’s a good thing, right?”

Jennie hummed. “I don’t think I would have ever forgiven myself if I didn’t run after him. Back when we lived together, he was the one that made my days a lot brighter whenever I was upset, and… he always made sure to stick by my side when our parents argued, and I… I never appreciated him enough for it.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t agree with that, have you seen how he looked at you? He missed you too.”

“Yeah, Namjoon has always been like that. A good person from anywhere you look at him.”

Lisa listened carefully, taking notice of how Jennie was more at ease with the topic of her previous family. Her step-brother must have been a really important part of her life, one that she regretted leaving behind. They definitely also had a greatly deep bond if Jennie was able to refer to him as her actual brother. Lisa had always gotten the impression that the subject of Jennie’s past was off-limits, she never wanted to make her uncomfortable by talking about it. But throughout the progress of their relationship, she had come to realise that Jennie was not that reluctant anymore. She trusted Lisa enough to share her thoughts and feelings. When she spoke so honestly about how much she cared about a person, Lisa didn’t see any hesitation or weakness in the act. As they approached the entrance of their house, Lisa couldn’t help but point out the positive change.

“I’m happy when you’re like this,” Lisa stated as they came to a halt.

Jennie glanced at her confused. “Like what?”

“Just now, when you were telling me about Namjoon, you were pretty much glowing.”

“I don’t follow.”

Lisa turned so she could face Jennie as they stood in front of the door, her hand coming up to graze Jennie’s cheek. “When you talk about someone you love, your eyes shine like the stars.”

“They do?”

“Yeah, they do.”

Jennie took a confident step closer, holding Lisa’s waist with both hands as she tilted her head up to look into her eyes. Lisa shouldn’t be nervous after the countless times she had been so close to Jennie, but her body reacted like it was the first time Jennie touched her.

“Then tell me, Lisa,” she started, her voice a low whisper, “are they shining right now?”

Lisa nodded, because Jennie’s eyes had never looked so bright.

“And I suppose you also know _why_ that is?”

Jennie didn’t have to say it, Lisa felt it clearly.

“I think I do,” Lisa breathed, surprised she even managed to answer coherently while Jennie’s lips were almost touching hers.

“Good.”

Jennie smiled widely, and Lisa couldn’t resist anymore. She crashed her lips onto Jennie’s, and there was no doubt that Jennie had been waiting for her kiss. It was soft and sweet and everything Lisa craved for, the taste of Jennie’s mouth was just as addictive as the taste of _her._

Unaware that Jennie had been slowly pushing her backwards, Lisa let out a small yelp when she felt her back hit the solid, cold surface of their front door. Jennie laughed quietly, taking the interruption as an opportunity to make her way down Lisa’s neck, placing small kisses against Lisa’s burning skin. If that wasn’t enough to make the blonde flush, Lisa could also feel Jennie’s hands below her shirt, her fingers gently stroking her abdomen.

“Jennie, someone could—“

There was really no use in protesting, Lisa knew they were located in a very private area. There was hardly the risk of someone seeing them considering the darkness surrounding them. Jennie also seemed to be fully aware that they were alone as she ensured their bodies were tightly pressed together.

“You know…” she kissed her right below the jaw, “I’ve been really wanting to…” another open-mouthed kiss on the side of her neck, this time followed by a low moan from Lisa, “to give you another first time.”

Finally taking in Jennie’s words, Lisa pushed her head back, fingers wrapping gently around Jennie’s jaw so she could examine the determined look in the brunette’s eyes. Lisa had never regretted letting Jennie into her bed that first night, she never looked back in resentment at the way their story played out. It wasn’t the typical start of a relationship, but it was _their_ start. However, Lisa knew that her girlfriend was not as fond of that memory as she was. She brushed her thumb against Jennie’s bottom lip.

“You know I wouldn’t change a thing about us, right?”

“I know, but… I want to make things right. I want to give you what you deserved the first time we slept together. I want to be everything you wished for in your teenage dreams. I want to be _the one_ for you.”

“You _are_ everything I wished for, don't ever doubt that. But…" Lisa pressed her lips firmly to Jennie’s, "if you are so keen on showing me those stars of yours, be my guest."

Lisa didn't even have to look, she could perfectly feel Jennie's signature smirk on her lips. "Oh, I'll show you the entire universe tonight."

\----

Lazy mornings were Lisa’s favourite by far. She loved the feeling of having Jennie wrapped up all over her, with the only sound filling the room being their steady breathing. When they had a day where they didn’t have to rush off somewhere, Jennie liked to sleep in, and Lisa gladly stayed in bed right next to her. The blonde wasn’t much of a heavy sleeper, so she would normally wake up first. She’d get to admire Jennie’s sleeping face under the lighting of sun rays. She didn’t know how it was fair to look so beautiful after sleeping for ten hours, but Lisa didn’t have complaints.

Lisa was wearing a large white shirt, and Jennie only had her pyjama top on. Their pants had disappeared for very obvious reasons. They were lying on Jennie’s queen sized bed, Lisa’s room lost its purpose a while back when, a few nights prior, Jennie had asked Lisa to stay in bed with her. Now, Lisa couldn’t fall asleep without Jennie by her side. Besides, her own room didn’t exactly have the best memories since that was where Jennie would always leave her at the end of their initial sexual encounters. Lisa very much preferred staying in Jennie’s cosy room.

Although Lisa would have liked to let Jennie get a little more sleep, her plans were ruined by the sound of a loud ringtone blasting at full volume. The blonde winced, while Jennie groaned with her eyes still shut. Lisa looked over and noticed Jennie’s phone on the nightstand with ‘ _mother’_ displayed on the lit screen. When she returned her gaze to the sleepy brunette, Lisa laughed quietly at the frown on Jennie’s face. The girl was waving her arm aimlessly, probably trying to grab the blanket to bring it over her head, but she didn’t quite succeed. She heard Jennie whine at last, burying her face into the pillow below.

“Make it stop!” Her voice was muffled, but Lisa heard her regardless and chuckled. She stretched her arm and grabbed the phone, bringing it closer to a very annoyed Jennie.

“It’s your mum.”

Jennie groaned and turned onto her back, taking the smartphone from Lisa’s hands quite aggressively. She swiped her finger across the screen to accept the phone call and held the device to her ear.

“What.”

Lisa couldn’t hear what was being said on the other end of the line, so she just nuzzled into Jennie’s neck and waited. She would occasionally press her lips to the girl’s shoulder in hopes of giving her some kind of comfort. She knew Jennie wasn’t really the nicest person after her sleep was interrupted so abruptly.

“Yeah we’re good… I don’t know… I’m still in bed so I can’t tell… Yes, I will…”

Lisa smiled unconsciously at Jennie’s nonchalant replies. She wouldn’t be surprised if the brunette fell asleep in the middle of the call.

“Wait—today?” Jennie lifted herself into a sitting position. “For how long?”

“...”

“No, no, I just wished you gave me a bit more of a warning… Yeah I’ll let her know.”

When she noticed Jennie running a hand through her hair nervously, Lisa also sat up. She sneaked a hand below the hem of Jennie’s shirt to gently scratch her lower back. She heard the older girl sigh before she dropped her head on Lisa’s shoulder, humming in response to whatever her mother was saying.

“Okay… see you then.”

As soon as the call ended, Jennie threw her phone somewhere at the end of the bed and cursed under her breath.

“So, what did she say?”

Jennie licked her bottom lip and exhaled in frustration. “They’re coming over.”

“So soon? I thought they were going to visit on Monday.”

Jennie didn’t say anything. Lisa frowned.

“But they come every other week, what’s so bad about this time?”

Jennie picked up her shorts from the floor and put them on quietly. She pushed the blanket off her lap and stood up, tying her hair back in the process. Lisa looked at her expectantly.

“Well, this time they’re staying.”

\-----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, this chapter almost reached 8k words because i'm trash for fluff. hope you enjoyed! once again, i'm sorry for not proofreading, i'll go over everything once the fic is over.  
> also, i'll try my best to finish the last chapter by the end of the week but realistically speaking I'll probably update early next week. as always, please let me know your thoughts!


	13. thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long, this last chapter took a little more time to write. but here it is!

People really underestimated the saying “ _we don’t appreciate what we’ve got until we lose it”._

For Lisa, she realised just how much she should have taken advantage of having the house to herself when she went from being able to openly show her love for Jennie to being forced to treat her like a sister, which was rather disturbing considering how far they had come with their relationship. But to her defence, she couldn’t have predicted that her father would have taken a few weeks off work to have some ‘family time’.

During the times where their parents had visited previously, Lisa and Jennie simply didn’t interact in front of them, hence why they both believed their daughters hated each other. It was mostly easy to keep up the façade, they never had to pretend for more than an evening. But the day their parents unexpectedly decided to move back home _indefinitely_ , Lisa felt like she travelled back in time to when she had to pretend her feelings for Jennie didn’t exist.

It didn’t matter that they were both grown-up girls and not related by blood, the fact that their parents were married meant that they had to be extra careful in how they handled their relationship. It wasn’t easy to be straightforward and truthful when neither Jennie nor Lisa could predict the possible consequences. Living all under the same roof wasn’t helping, their parents were determined to act like the perfect family.

For Lisa, the most awkward moments were during meal times. Mostly dinner, to be precise. Every night, her dad would insist to sit together as a family and talk about their day. It was his plan to bring Lisa and Jennie closer, but Lisa felt extremely uncomfortable whenever he tried to force an impossible sisterly bond. The blonde made an effort to hide her emotions, but Jennie was by far the better one at keeping a cold expression.

The night of the first day their parents had returned, the four of them sat at the same table with Jennie and her mother on one side and Lisa and her father on the other. Being right across Jennie was not ideal for Lisa, but she had tried her best to avoid making prolonged eye-contact with her girlfriend throughout dinner. Initially, the situation was not too uncomfortable as everyone was occupied with their food, there wasn’t really the need to talk. It was awkward, but manageable. Lisa just wanted to finish eating as quickly as possible and leave. However, the parents had other plans.

“So tell me Jennie,” her dad suddenly spoke up, startling both girls, “has living with Lisa been bearable? I know you must have been busy with your studies, I hope she didn’t bother you too much.”

Lisa wanted to scoff. If her father really wanted to know how it was to live with her, he should have never rented a separate apartment. It was obvious that his parenting was flawed, but if he needed to monitor the status of his daughter's relationship with her new step-sister, he should have made an effort to stay home from the start. She couldn’t complain anymore though, she was thankful that her and Jennie had been alone for most of the time.

On the opposite side, Jennie glanced up from her plate and wiped her mouth with a napkin, her lips forming a thin line.

“Actually, she’s been more than helpful. I would have been a lot more stressed if it wasn’t for Lisa.”

Her voice was very monotone, but Lisa knew just how much those words meant. If it had been any other day, Jennie would have given a short and ambiguous answer. It became really hard to fight her affectionate stares, so Lisa stretched her leg under the table and started to rub her foot against Jennie’s calf as a silent _thank you_. She noticed how the brunette glanced back down on her plate to hide her own shy smile

“Oh?” Her dad’s brows shot up in surprise. “That’s… good to hear. I’m very glad you girls are starting to get along.”

Kaeun also nodded along enthusiastically. “Oh dear, that’s lovely! I never thought I’d see the day where Jennie accepted having a new sister.”

And there it was.

Jennie’s posture became stiff under her mother’s proud gaze. She didn’t glance up to reply, and opted to continue eating. Lisa was also not the happiest, but she could see that Jennie felt a lot more uncomfortable. It was her mother’s dream for Jennie to approve of the man she married and be part of a united family. And when Lisa got to know that, she became a lot more understanding of why Jennie didn’t feel like telling Kaeun about them just yet. And to be fair, Lisa’s dad was also very unpredictable, but it was more than clear that he’d side with his wife no matter what. Having their respective daughters in a relationship meant that they would never feel like a proper family, and Lisa was not even close to ready for that argument.

Neither girl commented for the rest of the dinner.

\------

 **Lisa  
**I can’t sleep  
_00:06_

 **Jennie  
**that makes the two of us.  
_00:07_

 **Lisa**  
It’s so annoying. I didn’t even get my goodnight kiss  
_00:07_

 **Jennie**  
but you did?  
_00:08_

 **Lisa**  
That didn’t count. I need more than a 0.5 seconds peck :(  
_00:09_

 **Jennie**  
not my fault that your dad walks around the house like he’s hiking.  
_00:09_

 **Lisa**  
He loses things easily  
_00:09_

 **Jennie**  
well if it wasn’t for him I would have kissed you properly.  
_00:11_

 **Lisa**  
can you kiss me now  
_00:11_

 **Jennie**  
no.  
_00:11_

 **Lisa**  
pleaseeeeeeeee  
_00:11_

 **Jennie**  
it’s the middle of the night. too risky.  
_00:12_

 **Lisa**  
I can be silent  
_00:12_

 **Jennie**  
no you can’t.  
_00:13_

 **Lisa**  
I won’t take long  
_00:13_

 **Lisa**  
I just miss being with you all the time  
_00:16_

 **Lisa**  
Jennie???  
_00:20_

 **Jennie**  
five minutes and then you’ll go back to bed without complaints. deal?  
_00:22_

 **Lisa**  
Yes I’ll be a good girl :)))  
_00:22_

 **Jennie**  
my door’s open. don’t be noisy.  
_00:22_

 **Jennie**  
maybe i also miss you a little.  
_00:23_

 **Lisa**  
I love you too <3  
_00:23_

\-----

More than a week had passed, and no progress had been made. If anything, Lisa felt like her relationship with Jennie was frozen. She didn’t want to appear too clingy or needy, but hiding all the time and not being able to even be around Jennie was more painful than she thought. Lisa was very aware that her improvised displays of affection tended to be not very sensible due to the possibility of getting caught at any time, but being away from Jennie after getting a taste of what being her girlfriend felt like turned out to be extremely difficult.

To begin with, Lisa was very intent on having at least one kiss per day, even if that meant waiting until the late hours of the night. Unfortunately, Jennie's mother was a very light sleeper and so if Lisa didn't ensure to be as quiet as possible, it would be the end for her. The thought of being seen or heard didn't really stop Lisa, she still found a way to have Jennie to herself and get her lips on her. During the day, it was easier to have some time alone together as their parents were mostly busy around the bottom floor, which allowed Lisa to hang out in Jennie's room and occasionally have heated make out sessions if they felt it was safe enough. Strangely, Jennie never initiated their secret meetings. She always reminded Lisa that they shouldn't be taking risks, but the blonde couldn't tell if Jennie was simply acting cautiously or whether she truly didn't feel the urge to be with Lisa. The thought of not being wanted did upset the younger girl at some point, but soon after she brushed off the concern and only focused on making the most out of their private moments.

Jennie didn’t get to cook anymore since her mother took over the task of preparing meals, but Lisa knew that she could find her girlfriend around the kitchen cutting up fruit in the middle of the afternoon. Kaeun was in the living room making a phone call, and Lisa took advantage of the distraction to join her girlfriend quietly. When she walked in, Jennie glanced up from the wooden cutting board to give Lisa a quick smile before returning to her apple pieces. Lisa grinned and made her way towards the fridge. She opened it and pulled out a bottle of orange juice. Then, she stepped towards Jennie and stood with her back to her, stretching up and reaching for a clean glass in the cupboard. Turning around, she finally placed her items on the kitchen island—right next to Jennie’s cutting board. As she uncapped the bottle and poured herself some juice, Lisa could hear Jennie slowing her movements with the knife, her cutting not as smooth. When her glass was full, Lisa raised it to her lips and turned to lean her hip against the edge of the island top, staring at Jennie past the rim of her glass. Jennie stopped slicing completely, but she didn’t meet Lisa’s waiting gaze.

“Talk about being subtle,” she sighed.

Once again, Jennie was turning down the opportunity to be with Lisa privately. Maybe their history and the time they spent apart was making the blonde read too much into Jennie’s behaviour, but she couldn’t hide her annoyance anymore.

Lisa put the glass back down and crossed her arms. “Is my presence such a nuisance to you?”

“It is when you’re acting recklessly.”

Lisa rolled her eyes. She didn’t want to think that she was the only one trying in the relationship, but she didn’t like Jennie’s indifferent attitude, especially when they rarely had occasions to be openly affectionate.

“So I can’t even be around my own girlfriend now?”

She received a frown from the brunette, but to Lisa it almost resembled a scowl. Jennie took a furtive look through the door.

“Keep it down,” she muttered.

Lisa didn’t know if she should have been as irritated as she felt by the lack of interest from Jennie, but she lost the will to figure it out. Pushing discretion out of the window, Lisa held the sides of Jennie’s face and kissed her without warning. She didn’t hold on her too hard, Jennie easily pushed her off and stepped away with a glare.

“Have you gone insane?” she hissed. Lisa could see the fear in her eyes as they darted between the door and herself once again.

“Have I? I don’t know, maybe the fact that you’re avoiding me is helping with that.”

“I’m not avoiding you!”

“Oh, then what do you call this,” Lisa gestured between them, pointing out the visible gap that had formed after the kiss. “You always act like a stranger when we’re in the same room, even when there’s no one else here.”

“I thought we had agreed to not make it obvious and risk getting caught! And did you not see my mum outside?” Jennie protested, still whisper-shouting.

“She can’t see us from here, Jennie. You just don’t want me to come close at all, do you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m saying that you’re not—“

“—Girls?”

Both Jennie and Lisa froze at the interruption. Hearing footsteps fast approaching, Jennie rushed back to her initial position behind the kitchen island, and Lisa turned her back to the door after grabbing her nearly empty glass. This time, they had a much more evident distance between them.

Kaeun tentatively entered, and Jennie greeted her casually as if she had never left her spot.

“Is everything okay here? I thought I heard some bickering going on.”

Lisa felt her throat becoming dry. She then faced the older woman with the fakest real smile she could muster.

“That’s my fault, sorry. I accidentally spilled some of my drink on Jennie’s fruit.”

Jennie nodded along. “Yeah I was a little… annoyed.”

“Jennie, dear, don’t start petty fights please, especially with your sister,” Kaeun scolded. Lisa was about to defend her girlfriend and take the blame for the argument, but the sudden sound of Jennie’s ringtone caught the attention of everyone in the room. 

The phone was placed in the middle of the kitchen island, the screen facing up. Even from a distance, Lisa could read ‘ _Joonie_ ’ on the display, and apparently Kaeun also managed to recognise the name. Jennie looked at her incoming call, and then back at her mother. She reached for her phone in a hurry and pressed the decline button, and then slid her phone in the back pocket of her jeans. Lisa didn’t know why, but Jennie seemed to be in a state of panic. Her mother’s stern gaze was probably part of the answer.

“Was that… Kim Namjoon? That person calling you, it was him right?”

Jennie pressed her lips together and looked down. “Yeah, I met him a few weeks ago.”

“You spoke to him?”

Lisa had never heard Kaeun sound so cold and disgusted. It scared her, but Jennie appeared to be on the verge of falling down on her knees.

Jennie nodded stiffly as a response. Her mother scoffed.

“Well, what a small world. Does he work in the city now?”

“Yeah… he finished his masters in Law last summer.”

“He’s a _lawyer_?” Kaeun cackled. “He’ll probably end up following the footsteps of that old scumbag. Like father, like son.”

Jennie’s shoulders tensed, her jaw clenching at the insult. “Don’t—don’t talk about him like that. He’s a good person.”

It was obvious that there was yet another intense fight building up for Jennie, except this time Lisa couldn’t get involved. Kaeun faced the blonde at that point, smiling at her kindly.

“Lisa, could you please leave us for a moment dear? I just need a few private moments with my daughter.”

There was no hint of kindness in her eyes, Lisa could see that far. Things were not looking good for Jennie, Lisa didn’t want her to become even more upset. Gone were the worries about their relationship, Lisa just wanted to protect Jennie from her mother’s shots. However, she didn’t have the power to stand her ground. She couldn’t go against Kaeun when she had been ordered to leave.

With a heavy heart, Lisa walked towards the door, not leaving without sending Jennie a worried look. Jennie didn’t react, but Lisa knew her concern had been acknowledged. As soon as she stepped in the living room, the kitchen’s door was closed behind her.

Shouts, screams, accusations of all sorts. Lisa couldn’t really understand what was being said, but she could sense the anger and frustration through the walls. She paced around the empty living room, desperately wanting to go back in and make sure Jennie was safe. Lisa knew it wasn’t her business, she didn’t have the right to get between mother and daughter. Truthfully, Lisa didn’t even care about what was the cause of such rage from Kaeun, she only wanted to be with Jennie and prevent her from getting hurt.

Jennie’s voice was getting louder and more defensive, Kaeun sounded outraged and unstable.

And then Lisa heard it.

It was perfectly reasonable to give the two women a chance to discuss, but a slap was way out of line. The sound was so sharp and audible, Lisa almost felt it as if it had hit her instead. Jennie wasn’t violent. Jennie would never raise her hand at anyone, much less when it was her mother. Lisa couldn’t say the same for Kaeun. Only silence followed the loud smack, and Lisa didn’t have the patience to wait any longer. She started to march towards the kitchen, but the door swung open wide before she could make it. Jennie rushed out, her eyes full of angry tears and a red mark prominent on her left cheek. She was clearly heading towards the front door, but Lisa couldn’t let her go. She met Jennie halfway, raising her fingers to examine the painful area. Jennie immediately flinched, and Lisa retracted.

“Jennie—“

Before she could call her name, Jennie was already pushing past her and grabbing her leather jacket by the entrance, before walking straight out of it. Lisa stared at the shut door, somehow hoping Jennie would change her mind and return to her. Jennie didn’t come back, and Lisa couldn’t go after her.

Kaeun stepped out of the kitchen. Lisa turned to face her with an icy stare.

“Slapping her was not necessary, Mrs Kim.”

“Lisa, honey, just go to your room please.”

“With all due respect, I don’t think you have the right to tell me what to do after you treated your own daughter like shit,” she spit out.

Kaeun was taken aback by the unexpected retort, but Lisa had to say it regardless of consequences. Jennie didn’t deserve to be stepped on so easily, Lisa wanted to ensure that Kaeun knew her disrespectful attitude had not gone unnoticed.

After seeing that Lisa was not going to take back her statement, Kaeun’s eyes narrowed. “Watch your mouth, kid. Let the adults deal with serious issues.”

Lisa returned her glare, but she silently headed upstairs a few seconds after. She didn’t want to add fuel to the fire, Jennie had enough on her plate already.

\----  
By the time Lisa was ready for bed, Jennie had still not returned. Unlike the previous occasions when she disappeared, this time she actually messaged Lisa to let her know she was at Chaeyoung's dorm. Lisa didn't really know if she was supposed to be worried, but the fact that Jennie was upset somewhere without being able to comfort her did make her feel uneasy. She didn’t have a lot of information about the brunette’s relationship with her mother, but Lisa needed to tell her she’d stay by her side no matter what happened with their parents. She knew that they had some sort of argument before things blew up with Kaeun, but she wasn't mad at the older girl. After Jennie left, Lisa only felt guilt for making her girlfriend feel worse. She also had a feeling that Jennie wasn't mad at her either given that she had replied to all of her texts, and so all Lisa could do was to wait for her to come back and talk.

A few hours later, Jennie showed up at her bedroom door. Lisa was still very much awake, and Jennie noticed it too due to the light coming from Lisa's phone screen.

Lisa put the device away and turned to her side, her eyes watching the brunette standing in the corridor. From the faint moonlight, Lisa could see Jennie's figure slowly approaching. Halfway through, Jennie shrugged off her leather jacket and dropped it quietly on the floor. She lifted the side of Lisa's blanket and climbed on the bed, claiming the little space remaining. Her head rested on Lisa's pillow, their faces now really close. 

"Hey," she finally whispered.

Lisa couldn't see Jennie clearly, but she felt the tiredness just from her tone.

"Hi," the blonde replied, stroking Jennie's warm cheek with her thumb. Jennie didn’t pull away this time. “Does it still hurt?”

“No,” Jennie closed her eyes, enjoying Lisa’s touch on her skin, “it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“I’m glad,” she continued. “I think you mother won’t like me after today.”

When Jennie looked at her confused, Lisa let out a breathy laugh.

“I told her she shouldn’t have treated you so disrespectfully. I wasn’t exactly polite about it either.”

“Lisa—“

“You have no idea how it felt to see you hurt. I couldn’t let her go away with it. Besides, you’re my girlfriend. You’ll always come first.”

The corner of Jennie's lips curved up just lightly. Lisa pushed herself forward to kiss her.

"Did you drink?"

"Just a little."

"Did you drive back?"

Jennie shook her head lazily. "Rosie gave me a lift."

"Okay, that’s good. Do you want to go to sleep?" she asked. Lisa could see that her girlfriend was struggling to even keep her eyes open.

"Not yet… I just want to stay with you," Jennie wrapped one arm around the blonde's waist, "Just for a few minutes. Then I'll go."

Instead of questioning the brunette any further, Lisa enjoyed the moment of silence. She listened to Jennie's slow breathing, she felt the older girl's fingers tracing unclear patterns on her lower back. It was difficult to find the time to simply be in each other's company, and whenever Lisa had Jennie so close to her, she really longed for the times where they could freely be in love.

Seconds and minutes passed, and Jennie spoke up.

"Lisa…" she breathed, "I promise I'm not avoiding you."

Lisa was genuinely surprised that Jennie brought up their discussion. It was typical of her to ignore problems as long as she could, but thankfully that didn't seem to be the case anymore. It was their first real argument since they became girlfriends, Lisa shouldn’t have assumed that Jennie was going to avoid talking about it.

"I know," Lisa admitted. "I think the frustration really got to me lately, it was really immature of me to say those things. I'm sorry for making you feel like you weren't giving me enough."

"Don't be, you were partially right. I was being extremely cautious around you, and I did feel paranoid most of the time."

"It's understandable."

"No, it's not," Jennie sighed. "I want to be with you as much as I can, but at the same time I'm so scared of making the wrong move and fucking it all up."

Curling her fingers around the back of Jennie's neck, Lisa lifted her head from the pillow to press her lips to Jennie’s forehead. She then lied back down and kissed her cheek multiple times, trying to erase the pain from the slap completely. Jennie hummed in approval, turning to meet Lisa’s lips with a kiss of gratitude.

"Remember when I told you to rely on me? This is the same thing. I know you're worried, but it's not just you. We're doing this together, and if we fuck up—well, we fuck up together."

Jennie laughed quietly, and Lisa smiled. 

"No matter what happens, we'll find a solution, just me and you. Okay? We'll be fine baby."

"So I'm _baby_ now?"

"Shut up," Lisa whined, but her complaints were soon shut down when Jennie's mouth claimed hers.

There was nothing heated about their kisses that night, but to Lisa they felt just as intimate. Jennie and her had finally come to understand one another, and Lisa was grateful to have her back. 

When Jennie pulled away, Lisa chased after her lips and pressed a couple more small kisses to her smiling mouth.

"I should go now."

"Okay," Lisa kissed the top of her nose, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Instead of leaving immediately, Jennie remained sat on the side of Lisa’s bed, looking down at the blonde with pure adoration. She held one of her hands tightly and kissed the back of it.

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Always,” Lisa grinned lovingly.

Then, Jennie mouthed three little words before kissing the younger girl one last time. Lisa fell asleep with a smile on her face.

\---- 

**Jennie  
**did you take an umbrella with you?  
_10:32_

 **Jennie**  
the weather man on the tv said it was gonna rain.  
_10:32_

 **Lisa**  
I don’t have an umbrella :( and since when do you watch the weather forecast?  
_12:44_

 **Jennie**  
your dad was watching it this morning, he’s planning to pick you up.  
_12:45_

 **Lisa**  
can’t you come instead?  
_12:45_

 **Jennie**  
i told him i was visiting a friend this afternoon and that i didn’t mind stopping by on the way back  
_12:46_

 **Lisa**  
Cool. When are you heading out?  
_12:48_

 **Jennie**  
around the same time your dance practice is supposed to start.  
_12:48_

 **Lisa**  
interesting…  
_12:49_

 **Lisa**  
Which friend are you meeting?  
_12:49_

 **Jennie  
**i’m not actually meeting anyone, Lisa.  
_12:49_

 **Lisa**  
ooooohhhhhhhh I think I see what you’re doing ;))))  
_12:50_

 **Jennie**  
didn’t think it’d take you so long to realise.  
_12:50_

 **Lisa**  
My most sincere apologies for wasting your valuable time  
_12:51_

 **Jennie**  
haha.  
_12:52_

 **Jennie**  
so? are you willing to skip practice for me?  
_12:52_

 **Lisa**  
I’d be willing to skip the entire school day for you <3  
_12:53_

 **Jennie**  
that’s not happening, you’re staying in school.  
_12:53_

\----

“Fuck.”

It had been three weeks. Three whole weeks where Lisa had to suffer the consequences of their parents being around. She couldn’t even hold Jennie’s hand inside their house, let alone have sex with her. In a few words, it was an anti-love prison.

But enough was enough, and so one night Lisa finally decided to give into temptation, making her way to Jennie’s room while their parents were supposedly asleep.

That was how she ended up with her thighs around Jennie’s head while her tongue was doing wonders down below. She had never been more thankful for having a lock on the door.

“I’m so close,” she breathed. She really did miss being able to be as loud as she wanted, but Jennie had been clear. “ _You either stay quiet or we’re not doing this again,”_ she had said, and Lisa found it pretty ironic since they had almost done it in Jennie’s Porsche a few days before. Too bad a parking lot in broad daylight wasn’t the most private place.

Jennie had her arms around Lisa’s thighs, her fingers probably leaving marks from how strongly she was holding her down. Lisa moved her hips frantically, chasing her release desperately. It was definitely a lot more rushed than usual, but given their circumstances it was expected.

Soon enough, Lisa brought her hand up to her mouth to muffle any sound threatening to leave her lips as she came hard on Jennie’s face. And although it all happened really fast, she found the whole encounter extremely hot.

She lifted herself on wobbly knees and shifted herself down, now straddling the brunette’s bare stomach. Looking down, she admired Jennie’s lips and lower face covered in her wetness. She was staring at Lisa with unfocused eyes, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she caught her breath. Lisa didn’t hesitate in cleaning the mess she made. She bent down and covered every inch of Jennie’s face with her mouth.

“Was that enough?” she heard Jennie mumble with a raspy voice, and Lisa automatically smiled against her jaw.

“You know I can never get enough.”

Jennie laughed and closed her eyes. “Have I turned you into a sex addict?”

“I’d say I’m more of a Jennie addict.”

“That’s the lamest thing you’ve ever said.”

Lisa smirked and gently pressed on Jennie’s bottom lip with her thumb. “Sure, but don’t deny that you’ve also missed this like crazy. The sex, and most importantly, my naked body.”

Connecting their lips, Jennie kissed Lisa’s smug smile away. And fuck, Lisa had missed that mouth all over her.

But if she was to be completely honest, she was longing for much more. It had been far too long since the last time she had fallen asleep in Jennie’s arms, they couldn’t spend the night together without the fear of having their parents barging in the next morning. Lisa also missed Jennie’s cooking, or the nights they’d spend making out on the couch with a random film playing on the TV screen—just everything that came with the freedom of having an empty house. It was so frustrating how they had been deprived of the simplest things in the blink of an eye.

Based on the past weeks, Lisa concluded that admitting she was in a relationship with Jennie was not a safe option. Kaeun liked to think she was the best mother and wife on the planet, and Lisa’s dad kissed the ground that the woman walked on. If they were to burst their ‘perfect marriage’ bubble, all hell would let loose. She didn’t want to share her worries with Jennie just yet, she hoped that with a little more time, she’d find a better choice.

\----

 **Lisa**  
I think your mother is planning to kill me help  
_18:09_

 **Jennie**  
i’m sitting right in front of you, why are we texting?  
_18:09_

 **Jennie**  
also no, she’s not.  
_18:10_

 **Lisa**  
She’s behind you, in the laundry room. She could hear us!  
_18:10_

 **Jennie**  
uh, sure.  
_18:10_

 **Lisa**  
Why do I feel like she hates me more lately  
_18:11_

 **Jennie**  
oh, I forgot to tell you.  
_18:12_

 **Lisa**  
tell me what????  
_18:12_

 **Jennie**  
she found your shorts in my room the other day.  
_18:12_

 **Jennie**  
they were on the floor next to my bed.  
_18:12_

 **Lisa**  
Wtf??? Why are you laughing now??  
_18:13_

 **Jennie**  
because it’s funny.  
_18:14_

 **Lisa**  
I thought you were worried about getting caught, why are you so chill with it now  
_18:14_

 **Jennie**  
don’t worryyyy  
_18:15_

 **Jennie**  
i said i borrowed them from you because they were comfy.  
_18:15_

 **Lisa**  
And she believed you?  
_18:15_

 **Jennie**  
why wouldn’t she?  
_18:15_

 **Lisa**  
I thought you guys were not on good terms  
_18:16_

 **Jennie**  
we’re not. that’s why she has no right to call me a liar.  
_18:16_

 **Lisa**  
oh, okay. She’s still looking at me weirdly though  
_18:16_

 **Jennie**  
what is she doing?  
_18:16_

 **Lisa**  
Taking clothes out of the washing machine  
_18:17_

 **Jennie**  
stop looking at her.  
_18:17_

 **Lisa**  
I’m not looking at her  
_18:17_

 **Jennie**  
again, i’m sitting right in front of you.  
_18:18_

 **Lisa**  
I’m looking at the laundry!  
_18:18_

 **Lisa**  
I think I saw your bra  
_18:19_

 **Lisa**  
The one you were wearing yesterday  
_18:19_

 **Lisa**  
why are you leaving me???? Come backkkk  
_18:21_

\----

“Do you think we should tell them?”

They didn’t get to escape too often, but after a month they vaguely figured out how to get away with a few secret dates (or better, just time to actually be together). They didn’t usually have long, it was too risky to be out at the same time, so they made sure to enjoy every second of it. Even sitting together on some random park bench in the late afternoon was enough.

Jennie was lying down with her head on Lisa’s lap, her eyes shut as the blonde gently traced her facial features.

“I don’t know how my dad would react.”

“Well I can tell you exactly what to expect from my mother.” Jennie smirked. “She’d kick me out of my rent-free house and curse me for ruining her marriage.”

“Then there’s no point in saying anything, that’s the worst possible scenario.”

“Hmm, but to be fair she did warn me before I moved in.”

Lisa stopped her movements, and Jennie didn’t even have to open her eyes to know that the blonde was looking down at her like a confused puppy.

“She told me her new husband had a beautiful, young daughter and that I shouldn’t even dare to look at you in the wrong way. I’m guessing she believed I’d get in your pants and leave you broken-hearted.”

Amusingly enough, Lisa had also believed Jennie was no good for her the first few weeks they had started living together. The tables had really turned since now she’d do whatever it would take to keep Jennie by her side.

“Well, you did get in my pants, but my heart has never been better.”

“And I’ll try my best to make sure it stays that way.”

“…”

After being met by silence, Jennie finally decided to open her eyes. Lisa watched the brunette squint and blink rapidly to adjust her sight to the light. Even though she had the chance to admire Jennie’s beauty on multiple occasions before, Lisa was still left amazed whenever she focused on just how perfect she looked. At that specific moment, the sunset made Jennie’s skin almost glow under orange hues. She couldn’t help but focus on how pretty her face was. Lisa had never seen eyes like Jennie’s. She couldn’t emphasise enough how much they resembled the gaze of a Ragdoll cat, and that feature made her even more attractive than what she already was. Even when she was tired and whined like a child she turned into a cute kitten. And her lips… Lisa could stare at her lips all day—

“You still there?”

“Huh?” Lisa snapped out of her trance and returned her attention to the conversation. “Sorry, I have too many things on my mind.”

Jennie raised her eyebrow playfully. “Oh? But there’s only one me, that shouldn’t be too much.”

Lisa pursed her lips to hold back a smile. “You know I could push you off this bench if I wanted to.”

“Lalisa Manoban, what is this behaviour? This is not how you should speak to older people.” Jennie gasped dramatically, making it impossible for Lisa to hide her grin.

“Keep talking like that and you’ll be left on the ground.”

It was easy to end up laughing together. Lisa’s heart felt so light, and even if they were soon going to return home and put on the usual act, she loved having silly conversations with her girlfriend and making her laugh, even if it was just for a few hours.

Although Lisa was trying to avoid interfering with their parents’ married life, her priority still remained her love for Jennie. And as much as she wanted to believe that there could be a future where everyone was happy, she knew that it was not going to be a smooth ride. But she did have a temporary plan, and in one way or another, she was going to make it work.

“Listen, Jen.”

Jennie let her laughter halt after seeing the blonde’s serious expression. She placed her hand over Lisa’s one on top of her stomach to let her know she was listening.

“I’ve been thinking about what we should do next. As in, you’re soon going into your final year and I’ll also start my first year so…”

“…you’ll have to move out?” Jennie offered a small smile of reassurance, but Lisa could hear the small crack in her voice. She could tell that the brunette didn’t want to show that she was afraid, but Lisa knew better.

“Before you start getting all mushy on me, I’m not going anywhere outside the city.”

“But Lisa, this is your future we’re talking about, if there are better opportunities—“

“—and _you’re_ part of my future. There’s nothing wrong with a local university, and I’m definitely not gonna waste my time being apart from you and my friends just to get a degree somewhere posh. I’m completely fine with staying right where I am.”

“I’ve never dealt with a long-distance relationship but I could try for you, Lisa. It’s not going to be the end of the world, I promise I’ll be fine if you’d rather find somewhere else for your studies.”

“But that’s not what I want.”

“Then what is it that you want? To be stuck here with me for the next three years?”

“That sounds just perfect.”

Lisa could swear Jennie was about to cry (because even if she liked to act tough she was a HUGE softie). But she didn’t, she simply nodded and tightened her grip on Lisa’s hand. “Okay.”

“But I was thinking… maybe I should move out. You know, get my own apartment and all.”

“In the city centre?”

Lisa nodded.

“You are aware of how expensive that’s going to be, right? I know teenagers make it seem like as soon as you turn eighteen you’re supposed to live alone and become an independent soul, but trust me, rent and bills are not very fun. And baby, I know cooking is not your forte, but you can’t have instant ramen every day.” Jennie furrowed her brows in thought. “But if that’s what you want to do, I’ll support you regardless.”

“No, silly.” Lisa laughed lightly. “I was referring to the both of us. I know you’re finding it hard to live with your mother, and I’m also not her biggest fan. I’m tired of having to hide in my own house.”

“But how would we explain moving out together?”

“It’s financially beneficial to share a place. And if we move somewhere not too far from either of our universities, we won’t have to waste time travelling for so long. Truthfully though, I like the idea of getting some time to ourselves without having to tell our parents about us, as well as getting our privacy. And it’s not like it’s going to be any different from how we’ve lived until now.”

“…I guess that’s not a bad idea,” Jennie mused. She was aimlessly staring at the sky, but there was the hint of a smirk on her lips. “We’d be two students conveniently living together, it would work. I’m just wondering… would telling them be such a bad thing?”

“I just think it’s not the right time. They haven’t even been together a year and hitting them with such news would make things quite messy, not to mention your mother’s hidden hatred for me. But if you’re up for it, I’m with you.”

She didn’t really want to assume the worst, but it was hard not to. For Lisa, the best option at that moment was to continue being together and let their parents work on their own relationship. Thankfully, Jennie also nodded in agreement.

“No, I also think it’s not ideal to complicate things right now. I’d rather we wait until we’re both comfortable.”

Suddenly, Lisa felt a hand touch her cheek, and she also noticed how Jennie’s eyes were now entirely focused on her. She licked her lips, and Lisa couldn’t help but follow the movement with her own eyes.

“Lisa… you’ve always made sure I had no doubts, and you never failed at making me feel loved since I’ve been with you. So, what I wanted to say to you now is that I’ll also do the same. I want to make you happy, and you don’t have to worry about me leaving or anything because…”

Jennie bit her lip and looked away, but Lisa pressed her finger gently on Jennie’s jaw to direct her gaze back to her. “Because…?”

“Because I really do love you,” she finally let out.

Jennie took her time to say those three little words. Lisa had not been waiting for it, but she did want a sign of being loved back at some point. It wasn’t exactly the first time that Jennie said _I love you,_ but she had never declared it so confidently. It made Lisa want to shower her with kisses. The few previous times, Jennie had said it quietly or as a whisper in the middle of the night. And initially, the brunette had been a blushing mess, she had even stuttered a couple of times, making the whole first love confession incredibly adorable. She wasn’t used to the term _love_ just as much as she was new to the feeling itself. Jennie didn’t say it often, and so each time Lisa heard the words, she felt like she touched the stars. This time was no different.

“And I love you, Jennie.”

There was no hesitation after that. Jennie brought her hand behind Lisa’s neck and pulled her down to meet her lips, kissing her as passionately as she did every time.

Lisa didn’t know what was going to happen next. She didn’t know if hiding from their parents was the right move. She wasn’t sure whether or not she’ll make it through university. Heck, she might not even get a decent job to pay for rent. And yet somehow, when Jennie looked at her with all the love in the world, she made Lisa feel like she had never made a better choice in life. Looking back at their journey, Lisa had to admit she would have done it all over and over again without a doubt. She had no regrets, falling in love with Jennie had been inevitable from the start. So there was one thing Lisa knew for sure—she was right where she needed to be.

\------

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaand that’s a wrap! 
> 
> Firstly, I know this ending is being left with unsolved issues, but I felt like it would have been unrealistic for them to get together after all these difficulties and then jump right into another mess. I’ll leave it up to you to imagine how things work out with their parents, I just hope I didn’t disappoint anyone. (Feel free to shout at me I guess.)
> 
> Secondly, I’d like to thank each and every single one of you that has decided to give this story a chance and made it through the end with me. I know writing comments is not easy, but I really appreciate everyone that took the time to write down their thoughts and opinions, it was lovely to read them all and see the same people continuing to comment throughout. You guys have been the reason why I actually finished writing this with the word count hitting 60k. I have to confess, my original plan was a 5 chapter story with less than 20k words, yet here we are. Again, huge thank you to the few of you that kept commenting as well as everyone else that continued to read and leave kudos to show support. If you are a new reader that wanted to read this fic once it was over, please do comment what you think. I will try my best to reply to all, regardless of whether you comment now or in a year’s time.
> 
> Also, I am fully aware that my writing is extremely basic, I don’t consider myself a great author at all since I have the creativity of a rock 90% of the time. I know the plot was in a sense very simplistic, I'm not super descriptive and detailed in my writing, and I didn't really care at the beginning since I just wanted to write something, but I really didn't expect this many readers and so I did feel like I should have done better. This story is probably not as exciting to read as other fanfics out there, but I did really enjoy writing it and I hope I could still contribute to entertain you in the time you have invested in reading this from start to end. 
> 
> I’m not opposed to writing an epilogue depending on the response I get, so I’ll ask for one last time to please let me know what you thought of the ending, the story as a whole and whether you’d be up for an epilogue!  
> I don’t know when I will be able to write next, universities reopen next week for me so I have to use my last two brain cells remaining from almost 6 months of quarantine for that. However, I do get distracted from my studies pretty easily, so I guess you can expect me to post something at some point. If you’re bored and have nothing to read, feel free to check out the one shots on my profile if you wish!
> 
> That's all from me, I hope you guys are doing well, please be responsible and stay safe everyone!


	14. epilogue

“Why are the boys huddled outside like a bunch of lunatics?”

Lisa was in the process of shoving her training clothes into her duffel bag when she got distracted by the sudden commotion, glancing up at her friend as she entered the changing room with an extremely annoyed expression. Lisa had also heard the guys being loud, but she had not been interested enough to question it.

Another girl, who walked past Lisa on her way out, answered her friend with an unimpressed look. “Apparently there’s some super-hot girl outside and they’re arguing over who gets to make a move first.”

Lisa couldn’t hold back her laugh as she watched her friend roll her eyes dramatically. “Why do men always act like they have the brain of a goldfish?”

“Probably because that’s exactly what they have, Momo,” Lisa suggested humorously while she zipped her bag closed and slung it over her shoulder. “No wonder I love women so much. Well, mostly my girlfriend, to be precise.” 

The Japanese dancer laughed lightly at her comment as she dropped herself on the bench next to Lisa. 

“I can’t argue with that—wait, you’re leaving so soon?” Momo questioned, noticing Lisa moving towards the exit of the changing room. 

“Yeah sorry, I have plans today.” 

Momo let out a low whistle. “Ditching me for a special night with your girl?” 

Lisa didn’t reply, but as she walked away she couldn’t suppress her growing smile. 

“I’ll buy you lunch tomorrow!” she called out behind her.

“You better!”

Pulling open the changing room doors, Lisa wasn’t surprised to see exactly what Momo had described. Multiple guys from the dance team were having an animated discussion in the middle of the building’s reception, almost completely blocking the entrance as they took furtive glances through the glass doors.

Lisa sighed.

One of the guys noticed her presence and immediately approached her with a grin. “Hey, Manoban!”

“Jimin, tell the guys to at least change out of their sweaty shirts,” Lisa complained, scrunching up her nose at the smell.

“Sorry, sorry, the boys have gone a little crazy. But there’s this…” he turned around and pointed at an unclear spot through the doors, “very hot girl with a fancy car waiting outside, and that’s not something that happens every day.”

“Right.” Lisa paused and glanced outside. “I see, she’s really beautiful. But I highly doubt your desperation and sweat are the key to making her notice you.”

Jimin shrugged and smiled confidently. “I can be pretty charming, you know?”

“I’m sure you can but, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to leave before it gets dark.”

“Oh yeah, of course.” The dark-haired boy stepped aside and asked a few of the guys to clear the entrance. “Here you go, have a safe journey home.”

“Thank you,” Lisa smiled and waved at him as she finally made it through the front doors. Before leaving, she turned to glance at the boy one last time with a confident smirk.

“Jimin! Tell the others to not be too disappointed!”

“Huh?”

Lisa laughed as she dashed down the couple of steps leading out of the dance studio building. She shook her head amused as she walked away, not believing that grown men could still act like they had never seen a girl before. As she glanced towards the cause of such distraction, Lisa let the brightest smile show. She quickened her pace, walking as fast as she could without looking like she was running.

A few metres away, Jennie smiled just as widely and held her arms out. When she was close enough, Lisa dropped her bag on the ground beside them and wrapped her arms around the shorter girl’s waist, dipping her head to meet red lips. Jennie smiled into the kiss, her fingers gently tracing Lisa’s jaw.

“Why so eager today?” the brunette teased as Lisa hugged her close and gently kissed the side of her head.

“Oh it’s nothing, just... pretend you don’t see all the broken hearts behind me.”

Jennie peeked over Lisa’s shoulder and squinted to figure out what was happening inside the building.

“I just see some guys being a mess.”

Lisa scoffed as she pulled away from the hug. “Those losers genuinely thought they had a chance with you.”

“Is that so?” Jennie smirked playfully, adjusting the collar of Lisa’s jacket. “I think they got the hint now.” Lisa then felt Jennie’s thumb pressing on her bottom lip. “Or at least, my lipstick smudged on your lips should help.”

Lisa hummed and pecked her girlfriend’s lips one more time, ignoring the persistent buzzing of her phone inside her jacket’s pocket. She knew that her inbox would be filled with texts from Jimin, but she didn’t really feel the need to clarify the obvious. “Let’s go before they start coming for me.”

\---

The apartment they were renting was fairly small, a two-bedroom flat that was almost equidistant from Jennie and Lisa’s university campuses. They turned one of the bedrooms into Jennie’s little studio, and even though the brunette wanted to share the space to accommodate Lisa’s photography equipment, the room just wasn’t big enough. Lisa knew that Jennie’s final year was more demanding, and therefore she had the priority. They somehow managed to isolate a section of the spacious living room for Lisa to take advantage of, so in the end they were both satisfied. It was their home, and nothing could ruin that.

Lisa liked sleeping next to her girlfriend every night and eating together on the same table. She liked having two toothbrushes by the bathroom sink and seeing Jennie’s clothes mixed with her own in their closet. Although it didn’t happen often, Lisa also was glad that whenever they had insignificant, petty fights they could still make up and come to an agreement without anyone walking away. She loved living with Jennie. She wouldn’t change a thing about her life at that moment and time.

“Keep staring at me like that and I’ll start melting.”

Getting caught did not prevent Lisa from continuing to admire Jennie’s appearance. They sat on opposite sides of the dining table, their dinner elegantly laid out in front of them. Lisa had not touched her food, instead opting to keep her eyes fixed on her girlfriend. 

“You know, it’s getting harder and harder to keep my eyes off you.”

“I don’t think it was ever easy for you in the first place,” Jennie remarked as she set her wine glass on the table, a grin spreading across her face at the sight of Lisa’s offended frown.

“That’s not true.”

It was indeed the truth, but Lisa knew better than admitting it and giving Jennie yet another reason to tease her endlessly.

“But it is. Although I must say, I’m pretty fond of your stares.”

“Well, I just have the hottest girlfriend in the world and she can be very distracting. Can you blame me?”

“I didn’t know formal wear was your thing,” Jennie stated amused.

Even though Lisa had never been subtle about her continuous compliments and was used to Jennie pointing out how obvious she was in admiring her, she still cherished the fact that Jennie’s cheeks shyly turned pink each time Lisa flattered her.

“It definitely is now,” Lisa murmured quietly, her attention going back to Jennie’s outfit immediately.

It was probably general knowledge that anything Jennie Kim wore suited her perfectly, but Lisa had never seen her in the divine combination of a blazer, pencil skirt and heels. Now that they were in the privacy of their home, the top buttons of Jennie’s white blouse were undone, and her grey blazer was casually folded over the back of her chair. And still, she was absolutely stunning.

“Aren’t we celebrating your internship at one of the biggest fashion companies in the world? That outfit is also included.”

“You’re making it seem like I actually do something other than filling in spreadsheets and making photocopies,” Jennie commented with a defeated sigh.

Seeing the reaction, Lisa’s eyes softened. The internship had begun the week prior, and Jennie had never failed to express how much she loathed the job. Lisa ensured to provide extra care with hugs and kisses whenever her girlfriend came home in a bad mood. Although she wished she could do more to help her with the internship, Lisa knew it was just the beginning of her career and that Jennie had more than enough time to prove her worth. That was also why Lisa wanted to remind the older girl about how amazing she was. 

She reached over to take Jennie’s hand into hers, encouraging her to meet her gaze.

“You’re crazy talented, and you know it just as much as I do. I’ll always be proud of anything you do. This is just the start, and I’ll be right with you through everything that happens next.” She paused to offer a reassuring smile. “One day, you’ll design your own collection, and I’ll be your personal, professional photographer. We’ll take over the world baby!”

“We sure will,” Jennie laughed lightly at first, but when a sudden thought ran through her mind she halted her movements all at once and stared intently at her girlfriend.. “Wait, does that mean you’ll be in charge of photo shoots?”

Confusion flashed over Lisa’s eyes, she had to take a moment before realising that Jennie’s question was dead serious.

“Ehm, I guess…?” she answered unsure, not particularly understanding where the problem seemed to be.

She watched as Jennie leaned back with her arm crossed, the motion allowing the opening of her blouse to widen slightly, enough to steal Lisa’s attention momentarily. She heard Jennie hum in thought, her palm coming up to hold her jaw.

“You’re certainly going to have those models all over you, I should probably supervise every shoot.”

Lisa was able to recognise the playful tone easily, and although she could sense that Jennie was merely making a joke, she was still caught off guard by the idea of Jennie possibly thinking that other girls, even models, could ever pique her interest.

“Jennie, you do realise that I am one thousand percent in love with you and only you, right?”

“Of course I do,” she continued to play along with a glint in her eyes.

“Then?”

“Tell me, Lisa,” she started with a somewhat sultry tone, “you do realise that you are becoming more sexy and mature as you age,  _ right _ ?”

Silence.

Lisa felt her face heat up, biting her lip and looking away to hide her stupidly confident grin. She dramatically dropped her fork on the plate and began to fan herself with one hand. “Oh,  _ stop it.” _

Jennie didn’t move, but her features lost all the fake tension and she let out a quiet laugh seeing Lisa’s getting flustered.

“You act as if you were not aware of this fact,” she points out with her signature smirk.

“I was not, I didn’t know my irresistible body was a cause of concern to you,” Lisa retorted, only half-jokingly. Besides her hair being darker and shorter, she really never noticed any change in her appearance, but it seemed that Jennie would beg to differ.

“Oh, I rather enjoy that body of yours, trust me.”

Ironically, the provocative sentence didn't turn the conversation into a sexual direction, instead, Lisa rubbed the back of her neck and gave Jennie the sweetest smile she could muster.

Seeing that, the brunette lost her trail of thoughts in favour of focusing on Lisa's adorable grin. Her lips formed a thin line and there was a newfound intensity in her stare.

"Stop smiling like that, please."

Lisa's smile dropped. She frowned and let her arms fall to her sides, her hands finding place on her thighs. 

"Why? Did I say something wrong?"

"No," Jennie propped her chin on her hand and leaned closer, "I just feel like kissing you when you do that."

"Oh."

Jennie groaned and grabbed the wine glass in haste, drinking in the red liquid as a form of distraction as well as a way to tone down her shameless want.

"You know," Lisa started, gladly taking advantage of Jennie's slip up, "being my girlfriend entitles you to those kinds of privileges." 

"Oh yeah?" Jennie continued. "Tell me more."

"Kissing, touching, hugging… you get it all."

"And let's hear, for how long do these benefits last?"

"Well, the girlfriend contract is indeterminate." Lisa winked, and Jennie couldn't stop her snort. "But there's also a lifetime deal I could offer. Unlimited everything. Just for you."

"Just for me?"

Lisa nodded. She knew the implication of her words. No matter how much she made it sound like a joke, Lisa wanted it more than anything. Jennie didn't seem shocked by the indirect proposal, and somehow, that only made Lisa hope for more.

"Well, good thing I am already yours," Jennie stated at last. "Do I get to claim my rewards now?"

"Absolutely. In fact, you could come here and get your kiss, if you'd like."

Pushing her chair back, Jennie stood up and walked around the table. The lack of hesitation stole a smug smile from Lisa. She made space between herself and the table edge, welcoming Jennie onto her lap and wrapping one arm around her waist to support her.

In that position, Jennie was able to stare down at Lisa’s curious expression. Lisa licked her lips, and Jennie followed the motion with her eyes. She circled the younger girl’s shoulders with both arms, narrowing the distance between them.

"I hope you'll deliver on your promises, Manoban." Jennie's lips were hovering just above Lisa's. “And by the way, rest assured. I am also very much in love with you.”

Hearing the sincerity in the words alongside the desire in her eyes, Lisa wasted no time in pressing her lips to Jennie’s, her hands gently curling around the fabric of the brunette’s shirt. She wondered if Jennie could feel it as much as she did. The excitement, the happiness, the joy. Weeks, months, years could go by and Lisa would still feel like every kiss was their first. The chills running down her spine, the trembling of her hands, Lisa couldn’t do anything to stop her heart from racing whenever Jennie showered her with love.

She felt Jennie’s hand hold the back of her neck, keeping Lisa right where she wanted. Her kiss wasn’t hungry nor desperate, it was simply… affectionate. By the time they pulled away, Lisa continued to leave small kisses over Jennie’s jaw and cheeks, making her giggle lightly.

“It tickles,” she almost whined, the childish complaint making Lisa smile against her skin.

They stayed like that for a while. There was no need to speak, both girls were enjoying the intimacy of their bodies pressed together. Jennie remained with her arms around Lisa, her forehead touching Lisa’s cheek and she rested her head on her shoulder.

“Lisa,” she called.

“Yeah?”

"I want that… the lifetime deal."

"Really?"

Jennie nodded with confidence. "One day."

"One day."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know, i know, the epilogue is really short and simple, but i trieeed.  
> (also sorry to those who asked jennie's pov, i gave it a try but it didn't really work out)
> 
> This is really the end, i don't know if anyone actually reads these notes but I just wanted to (once again) thank everyone that has supported this story!
> 
> (also happy SOLO anniversary!)


End file.
